Pretending Nothing
by Brisken
Summary: "Natsume, can I trust you?" he turned to look at me. I waited for an answer, only to become too unrest less. "There are people out there that are after me - people that I can't necessarily keep away from my loved ones." I gripped his hand tightly in mine. "So, tell me, Natsume: can you truly help me?" I waited a beat before adding, "Can I trust you?"
1. Chapter 1

**Enjoy :D**

* * *

**Chapter 1:**

I looked up at the enormous, yellow, building standing before me. My friends and I were strolling towards it with our duffel bags slinged over our shoulders. It had cement steps leading to a pair of doors that were bash. On either side of the doors were seven windows, each on the lower level having a flower box containing lovely flowers that swayed with the wind. Above the double doors was a sign saying DANCE ACADEMY FOR ELITES (DAFE for short) in bold, black font.

I smiled at my school and tuned into the conversation that the other four girls were having.

"He's amazing! Even though I'd never say that to his face," Misaki said, speaking of her 'dreamy' boyfriend. "I mean, I would but all he'd do is give me one of his smirks and say 'falling for me already?' In his deep, sexy, smooth voice." She sighed dreamily, then snapped out of her stupor and shook her head a little. "He can be so insensitive at times too; which I hate."

I rolled my eyes. Whoever this guy was had the usually cool Misaki cracked considering her milky brown eyes no longer danced with mischievous, but were practically oozing with love.

"Playing hard to get?" I asked, raising one of my eyebrows.

She swatted the back of my head.

"Ow!" I whined.

"No! I want him to get me! Stupid Mikan! Why would I play hard to get when I want him…and his delicious lips…and his beautiful azure eyes always trained on me…."

Today, her carmen pink, shoulder length hair was pulled into a messy bun sitting atop her head. Her bangs were split in the middle giving me a clear view of her features softening and her lips turning into a dreamy smile.

I couldn't help it, I bursted out into a fit of laughter. My other friends followed suit.

"Seriously Misaki?" Nonoko said between gasps. She clapped her hands together before her chest and looked up to the sky, as if praying. She even managed to make her navy orbs twinkle for affect. "Oh those lips, how they drive me so insane! And his eyes! They make me feel so...so...special!"

We all laughed hysterically at her very accurate imitation of Misaki.

As she dodged a punch sent from Misaki, Nonoko's straight navy hair - which was pulled into a pony - swished behind her. She was momentarily blinded by her bangs which reached just above her pools.

"Misaki's in love! L-O-V-E!" Anna sing-songed. Her bright ultramarine eyes sparkled in amusement. Misaki didn't even bother swatting at Anna because with her bubblegum-like hair and innocent wells, she was too cute to hit. Although with her current hairstyle - a side pony with curled bangs reaching her eyebrows - she appeared less naïve.

"I think it's sweet that you can't stop talking about him, Misaki," Nobara tried to comfort Misaki.

Misaki turned to the girl on her left. "Thanks Nobara, but I only talk about him sometimes."

For a moment, our junior's turquoise orbs sparkled in joy. She loved to gain our approval even though she was only a year younger than us.

Nobara tentatively pushed back one of her dark aqua curls framing her face as she noticed Anna, Nonoko and I staring at her and Misaki like they had grown another head.

She sighed. "Okay! Sorry I won't blab about my super hot and hilarious boyfriend!"

We all sweat-dropped but didn't announce that her statement was a flat out lie.

Our conversation ended just as we stepped through the threshold of our school. The halls went silent and all eyes turned to us - or more specifically, me. Recently the students here have been obsessing over me more than usual. I knew why but I still felt a twist in my gut when I saw people whispering while casting sidelong glances my way.

I ducked my head and continued walking down the hall towards the stairs. My friends hushed and attempted to block out our colleagues.

"Hey," I heard a cool voice from ahead of me.

Before I could think, I looked up and my hazel orbs met with _those_ lilac eyes.

Memories flashed lucidly through my mind:

_"Trust me. I will never hurt you."_

_Blood splattered across the carpet. It was mine. I looked up at him with bewildered eyes._

_"I'm sick of your pathetic face!"_

I averted my eyes and tried to stride around him but he blocked my path. All eyes were analyzing the scene that was unrolling before them. They were probably eager to see what would happen.

These students found me amazing since I was a prodigy in dancing and singing. They said that when they met me, they were shocked that I wasn't stuck up and snotty. I knew that they didn't want the new scoop on him and I. All they wanted was to piece the puzzle together to help me.

Nonoko and Misaki stepped in front of me while Anna and Nobara stayed planted by my side. This was what happened when we met.

"What do you want _Reo?_" Misaki growled, practically spitting out his name.

Reo threw her one of his alluring smiles but it just rolled off of her like the wind.

"I'm here to say hi to Mikan."

His voice was nothing but innocent and it made me sick. Reo turned to gaze upon me yet again. I witnessed his lips curl into a small grin as he flipped his ginger mane before Nonoko blocked his view.

"Don't even look at her, Bitch."

Her protective side had been unleashed and her tone sent chills down my spine.

But somehow Reo seemed unaffected. "I'll see you later, _Mikan._"

As he turned, I caught his scent and more horrid memories plagued my thoughts.

_So much pain. So much misery. Why wouldn't he just kill me? Why? This form of living, it wasn't worth it. Id rather die than go on like this._

Instinctively, my fists clenched as my anger boiled over. Unfortunately, Nobara saw my subtle sign of irate and her other came out to play.

"YOU BITCH!" She screeched.

Reo turned and scanned over her body. Her once serene eyes were ablaze with hatred and her face had morphed into a disgusted mask. Nobara's petite frame had turned rigid with furiosity and her fists were now clenched and shaking with rage.

"Have you no mercy? Are you even human to do something like that to someone like Mikan!"

As she spoke, she plowed through Nonoko and Misaki who were trying to hold her back.

She was now standing in Reo's face, which held hints of trepidation. With the sudden change of appearance added with her murderous aura, who wouldn't be scared?

"If you ever so much as _look_ at Mikan Yukihara Sakura again, I will personally hang you upside down from a tree and beat you until you're crying for the Demon to take your life. Is that clear?" Nobara's voice was menacing and murderous; I was astonished that Reo hadn't burst into tears yet.

I stepped out of my friend-made shelter and lightly placed my hand on Nobara's arm. "He's not worth it," I whispered.

She snapped her head my way when my hand gently touched her forearm. When she realized that it was just me, her calming routine took place: deep breaths, closing of the eyes, and unclenching of the fists. When her aqua eyes revealed themselves again, they had returned to their usual serene state and she nodded to signal that her _other _was back in storage.

"Come on girls," I said, throwing them a reassuring smile over my shoulder.

As I passed Reo, he whispered, "This isn't over," In his usual seductive tone.

"Oh?" I asked, turning sharply to glare at him. "'Cause from what I've gathered from this little meeting, it is."

Then, I sashayed away from the man who scarred me for all of my life. Never again would I be the same bubbly, care-free, loving, generous Mikan that I used to be. Sure I pretended that I was still the same because I didn't want anyone to worry over spilt milk. But still - deep inside - I wanted someone to _notice_. Someone to hold me and coo me comforting words. But unfortunately, I'm such a good actress that even my friends couldn't see through my façade.

So my tortured tear went unnoticed.

"Are you okay?" Anna inquired softly.

I quickly swiped the tear off of my cheek and gave her a small smile. "I'm fine."

I began my march up of the steps while avoiding their probing gazes although she looked reassured along with the other three.

"Thanks guys, for sticking up for me," I added.

They all nodded.

"We've gotcha back girl," Misaki chimed with a wink.

A laugh bubbled up inside of me and I gladly let it out.

Even though they couldn't do or see all the things I _needed,_ these girls always made my Hell a little brighter.

"We're gonna be late if we don't hurry up!" Nonoko cried.

Hurriedly, we rushed down the halls of our college.

* * *

"You're late Miss Harada and Miss Sakura." Our Sensei's taut voice echoed through the silent room. "Care to explain?" She interrogated us while smacking her ruler against her palm. "If I find the reason implausible, you will be severely punished."

I gulped.

Coincidentally, Misaki was a master at creating lies on the spot.

"You see Sensei, there was this old woman that needed assistance with crossing the road. So - like the caring people we are - we figured 'the hell let's help her!'"

"No swearing!" Sensei growled.

Misaki ignored her warning and continued to spit out a spurious tale. "But, when we got to the middle of the road, a car swerved and almost hit us!"

Gasps echoed throughout the classroom. I would never comprehend how Misaki wrapped people around her pinkie like this.

"Mikan and I grabbed the elder and dived to the sidewalk. We saved her from getting run over. Sadly, she got knocked out since she hit her head. We couldn't just leave an old lady laying unconscious on the sidewalk. So, we called 911 and waited with her. Sorry for not leaving an unconscious elder all alone and saving her from dying Sensei," She finished with a sincere apology.

Not having proof to deny our story, Sensei grudgingly let us pass to our seats. Once seated, I let the giggles stored in my stomach slip. Just thinking of everyone's face when she had said we -

"Something funny Miss Sakura?" Sensei asked.

"Crap," I whispered. As a last resort, I tried my hand at Misaki's specialty. "There's…..a…...um…...dancing ant?" I answered.

My classmates erupted into laughter at my lame attempt to get out of my predicament.

"I see it too!" Said the girl sitting to my right.

I gave her a thankful smile and prayed that Sensei wouldn't fry us.

"Oh yeah!" Another girl chirped from behind me. "It looks like," She leaned closer to a crumb on the ground and narrowed her eyes, as if clearing her vision. "It's doing the Bernie…?"

Some students fell from their seats and collapsed on the ground from laughing too hard. Even I couldn't help but giggle a little.

Sensei sighed and slammed her ruler on her desk, demanding order in the class. All the students straightened up and returned to their seats.

I silently thanked God for making me a rather personable person. If he had not been so generous, I would've been on my own.

"Hey," I whispered once Sensei's back was turned.

The two girls were already giving me expectant gazes.

"Thanks for saving me there." I tossed them one of my smiles which was returned by the two.

"No problem!" The one behind me said.

"Yeah," added the other. "I'll talk to you in dance?"

I nodded and smiled again.

At DAFE we have regular classes and dance/singing classes. Everyday, we had our academic sessions and then - after lunch - we'd go to our dance/singing classes. Since Misaki, Nonoko, Anna, and I are seniors in this college, we had our academic classes on the fourth floor while Nobara - being a junior - was on the third floor.

But for our dancing/singing classes, we had our classes on whichever floor represents our talent. Since all five of us were dancing/singing prodigies, we had those classes on the fourth floor.

I've attended the advance dancing/singing classes since I started here, same goes for Anna and Nobara. But Misaki and Nonoko had to tweak their singing and didn't attend the fourth floor classes until their sophomore year. Still, that's astounding; for Anna, Nobara and I to make it to the fourth floor in our freshmen year is unheard of. Until we came here at least.

"Class dismissed." Sensei's stern voice rang throughout the classroom.

All students jumped out of their seats and rushed out of the door.

"You can copy my notes later," Misaki said in a hurried manner. "Now come on! It's lunch and after that it's dance!"

I chuckled lightly and gathered my belongings. We skipped out of the room and wandered towards the lunchroom.

We ate outside in a courtyard most of the time. The view was always beautiful since Sakura trees lined the cobblestone area with picnic benches spotting it. I often times lost myself while admiring the way that the tree's petals fell and danced gracefully in the wind.

But when winter came or if it is raining, we'd surrender and trudge gloomily into the packed lunchroom.

Luckily, today was all sunshine. Not a single cloud in sight.

"Over here!"

We saw Anna and Nonoko waving their petite, manicured hands like maniacs to earn our attention while Nobara tried to hide her face behind her bangs.

"Don't get your panties in a twist," Misaki grumbled.

We started towards the three beauties with our lunches packed into a brown paper bag. We sat on the bench across from Nonoko and Anna while Nobara sat on my right and Misaki on my left.

Nonoko was eyeing me as I pulled my food out of the bag. Her eyes practically popped out of their sockets when she saw my chocolate cake with chocolate icing and a strawberry on top.

Immediately, her hand was outstretched in my direction.

"Gimme," She stated.

I gaped at her rude behavior. "No! You know how much I love sweets!" I snatched my cake off of the bench and clutched it dearly to my chest.

Nonoko's eyes narrowed. "I said, GIMME!"

She leapt across the table and attacked me. I held my cake to my chest tighter and prepared for the impact.

"NONOKO!" I screeched, trepidation coursing through my veins. There was concrete under me, and my head was falling towards it at a dangerous speed.

I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed that I wouldn't die. Okay dramatic but I _am_ a drama queen. Before my head hit the ground, strong arms encircled my waist and kept me from falling; instead, I was now leaning down towards the pavement. I peeked through my lids and froze.

"R...Reo...?" I whispered.

His face was mere inches from mine and he was hugging me upside down.

"Mikan." He smiled softly as his lilac eyes flickered to my mouth.

"Reo don't." My voice was low and laced with fear. But it was too late, he was already nearing my lips. I couldn't move a muscle. It's funny how the body works. I could've broken his neck or done something a little less drastic within moments if I was myself. But I seemed to be frozen. The question was: Was I frozen with fear or anticipation?

"Please," I whimpered unconsciously.

Suddenly, he was torn away from me. I released a sigh and was glad that Reo was no longer popping my bubble.

"OW!" I cried as I hit the cement. I sat up Indian style and rubbed the back of my head where I landed.

"WHAT THE HEll..." My voice trailed off as I saw Misaki and Nobara trying to get Nonoko and Anna to let them go. Reo was sprawled on the ground and they were like vicious dogs trying to eat their prey, but they couldn't since they were chained to their master.

"Let me at him! Son of a bitch I warned you!" Nobara screeched. It was as though she was screaming bloody murder.

"Nonoko release me! No one can do something like that to Mikan and expect her to give them a second chance! What he did was unforgivable! He deserves to die! No, rot in Hell with the demon laughing his ass off about how he screams like a little girl!" Misaki went on and on.

I stood and calmly re-packed my lunch as my 'guard dogs' barked at the intruder. Once everything was packed, I turned and walked towards the doors of the Academy. Everyone was watching me with a wary expression. I even saw some guys give me apologetic looks and then glare daggers at Reo.

He was actually a very famous singer who was here to improve his singing and dancing. He was supposed to only be here for a year but for some odd reason, he returned after the semester.

None of the students knew about what he had done to me. All that these kind beings knew was that Reo and I were dating, I went missing for a week, and when I returned, we had broken up and I avoided him like the bubonic plague. Meanwhile, he tried - fruitlessly - to win me over again. They've witnessed his repeated apologies and his gifts signaling his love as well.

Even though everyone at this school was my 'friend', they actually knew me; and they knew that I didn't hate someone for no reason. My friends - meaning the whole school - knew that Reo did something unforgivable. Therefore, they treated him like a murderer: with caution, enmity, and abhorrence.

"Mikan wait!" Reo called.

I stopped, but didn't dare turn to face my demon; I'm just not ready yet. I felt his hand gently clasp my shoulder. His touch was gentle, just like before. But before I could lose myself, I reminisced the times he had hurt me so that I felt numb to my bones. His touch no longer caused me to want more, but led to me shivering and feeling my past pain again.

Everyday, I went through Hell as if it were a game. The amounts of torment and pain increased as the days went by. Reo never went as far as touching me again. I knew that this was the boss level. Only 3% made it out of this level, would I?

"Please. I am so sorry for what I did to you. Now I know how wrong it was and I regret every second of it." His voice was so fragile and vulnerable...

"Please, I've changed."

This brought me out of my stupor. Quickly, I turned on my heels and looked Reo in the eye. I could already feel my hazel orbs tearing up.

"You've changed? _YOU'VE CHANGED_!" I shrieked. "Obviously you haven't." My voice was low and shaky again. "I am scarred for life because of your cruel and brutal games. You still try to woo me when you can. Just the other day, I saw you stumbling down an alley - drunk. You claim that you've changed, but if you had, then that would never be a scene that I had to witness again."

He opened his mouth to try to explain, but I trudged on. "Haven't you put me through enough pain? You're torture was probably worse than burning in the pits of Hell!" Even I could hear how my voice was full of sorrow and anger. "You've had your fun, Reo. You've left me mentally and physically wounded. What else could you _possibly_ want from me?"

"I want your love."

I scoffed and created a greater distance between us. I saw my best friends standing behind him, watching me intently.

"Please Mikan, I love you," He whispered while taking hold of my jaw.

From an on-lookers point of view it was a gentle, pleading touch - a form of begging. But I wasn't an on-looker, I could feel how he started to squeeze as if warning me to not say no. I could feel his finger nails slightly delve into my jaw probably leaving small, crescent-like marks.

I ripped his hand from my face and met his pleading gaze. "If you loved me," I began stepping away from him, nearing my escape. "Then you'd let me go."

In Reo's eyes, I could practically see his heart break. "You'll end my suffering because it'll make me happy, even though you'll be pained to do so."

My hand took captive of the handle for the door.

"That's what love is. You put yourself through Hell in order to make the one you love happy."

I knew this all too well. After all, I experienced it first hand. The door creaked open as I pushed.

"So clearly," I turned my back to him and started down the hallway. "You _**don't**_ love me." I heard him collapse to the ground, signaling that he heard my last words.

I hurriedly rushed to my locker, looking to escape from the inevitable.

"Mikan-?" Misaki started.

I turned to the four alluring young women who had tailed me to my locker. "I just want to be alone if that's okay?" I asked.

Without waiting for an answer, I threw my books into my locker and strutted down the hall towards the girls locker room. Once the door clicked shut behind me, I fell to the ground and tried to breathe. My sobs resounded throughout the empty room, the broken sound making me realize just how mangled I was.

On the outside, it looked as though I had passed the level. But in reality, the game had a glitch and had sent me ahead, only with half a heart left. No one could survive with half a heart. Hell,, most couldn't survive with one. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find the other half of my heart. Everyday, I searched and scowered all over to find it, but to no avail. As each day passed, my heart loses more health and energy, withering away like a flower. If I didn't find help, my time would come soon.

After all, no one can live with half a heart. Especially when your other half was brutally ripped from your chest.

_Shhh, it's okay. Don't cry._

Father's voice echoed in my mind. My sobbing abruptly stopped and I sniffled a little.

_Put that Mikan smile of yours on your face now child._

I tried out a forced smile, hoping it would turn real.

_Your tears make me feel so excited. It's as though they leak from your eyes and quench my thirst._

I punched the wall to my left and screamed into my arm at Reo's seductive tone. He always said he loved to see me in pain. If he could only see me now, maybe he'd die of happiness.

After recollecting my thoughts and bearings, I stood and collected my clothes for dance, all the while humming my tune.

"I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'd never let you go. When all those shadows almost killed your light."

I am strong. I will not cry in front of others. Never show your weakness.

That's what I repeated to myself as I changed. When I gazed upon my reflection in the mirror, I smiled.

"I remember you said 'don't leave me here alone'. But all that's dead and gone and past tonight."

My tawny colored hair was cascading in loose curls to my mid-back. Most liked their hair up when they danced, but I preferred mine down and free. I had big, hazel eyes that sparkled when I laughed - or so I was told. Over the years, I also acquired a bust and curves although they didn't mean much to me.

"Don't you dare look out your window darling everything's on fire. The war outside our door keeps raging on."

After taking a deep breath to prepare myself, I marched from the locker room to the dance room. Today was hip-hop, my favorite. The floor was oak wood and the wall on my right was covered by a mirror. To the left was a sort of lounge with four couches surrounding a coffee table in the center.

No one was there yet so I practiced my dance moves. Soon, others filed into the class. Unfortunately, one of them was Reo. But Nobara, Nonoko, Anna, and Misaki had my back. He didn't near me - surprisingly - and he averted his eyes from mine at all costs. I must have finally gotten to him.

"Okay, let's line up in formation." Rina clapped her hands as she entered the classroom.

We all did as told: Me in the front, the four girls behind me, and five guys behind them. This was all of the students of the advanced class.

Rina had jet black hair that was usually in a messy bun atop her head. She had gray irises that seemed to always be smiling. The guys always drooled over her since she was indeed stunning.

We jumped into the routine and I went into my dance world, following the dance moves we were taught with ease.

Whenever I danced, I didn't think, I just did. My vision usually blurred and I stepped into a trance of me dancing through a story.

For instance, in this dance I was a teen going down an alley. At the very end was a cardboard box spread out flat. There was a crowd cheering the person dancing in the middle as he danced to the fast beat. Once he was done, he asked for a challenger. I - being the teen - offered. And just like that, we had a dance off.

The music ending brought me out of my world. I was standing before Reo as his hands crawled up my sides. For the dance we had to have a partner and sadly, Reo was mine. He was only doing the dance, but it brought forth painful memories. I pushed him away and walked to the lounge for some water.

* * *

After class, everyone filed out.

"Have fun Mikan." Rina winked at me as she tossed me the keys to lock up the room.

I always had a free period after my dance class which I used to dance more. Rina was always kind enough to let me use her room, as long as I locked up after.

I flashed her a grateful smile and waited for her to leave. Once she had gathered her belongings and shut the door behind her, I made a bee-line for the stereo. I took a random CD and popped it into the system.

The music's beat met my ears and I stared ahead as my vision blurred.

Now, I was a girl trapped within a cell. She kept crawling around, looking for scraps to devour. A man came into the cell and tried to capture her. But the girl - being rather intelligent - dodged his fists and ran for the door. She was so close, so close to escaping, when arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back.

My stupor was over and I knew that someone had a hold of me. I freaked out and tried to get out of his grasp. To my surprise, the strong arms released me without hesitation.

I turned and was met with a pair of azure eyes. The young man had a star tattooed under his right eye and had shaggy, navy hair. Piercings lined his ears and he wore a gray T-shirt with a band logo sprawled across the chest. He was wearing black, baggy pants with a silver chain looping from one loop to another. He finished his look off with a pair of brown combat boots.

He put his hands up in surrender. "Wow, sorry."

The man was quiet handsome and he had a charming demeanor that lured you to him.

I gave him a wary smile. "It's okay. You just scared the crap out of me."

He chuckled. "I was walking by when I saw you dancing." His eyes clouded over and he seemed lost in thought. "You're dance was practically speaking to me. Your moves showed me torture and depression..."

I stared at him, awaiting his response. He blinked his eyes and they had the mischievous and silly glint back.

"Want to dance in a music video?" He asked suddenly.

I stared at him, my mouth more than slightly ajar. "Seriously?"

He laughed and nodded. "Yep. My band's making a music video and our lead dancer walked out on us. So, you wanna replace her?"

"Is this a dream?" I asked.

He laughed again - he had one of those laughs that was contagious and made you feel special that he was laughing because of you - and shook his head no.

"Pinch me 'cause I don't believe you."

I offered my arm as he practically died of laughter. He pinched my arm and I felt the jolt.

"Nope, not a dream."

It took me a while to realize what this meant.

When it registered, I jumped into his arms and squealed, "YES, YES, YES, YES! A thousand times yes!"

He chuckled and returned the embrace without apprehension. Immediately, I felt the effects of Reo burst through my stupor. His arms suddenly seemed suffocating. I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched my arm hoping that the pain would allow me to get a grip of myself. It did, and I was able to break the hug without seeming like a freak.

"My name's Tsubasa by the way. Tsubasa Andou."

I plastered my goofy grin back on and pretended to still have the same stamina that I had moments before.

"I'm Mikan Sakura. When will I be informed of the dates and stuff?"

"Let's walk. I need to meet my girlfriend," He said.

Instantly my ears perked. "Is your girlfriend attending here?"

He nods and grins wolfishly. "Her names Misaki Harada."

My eyes widened for a fraction of a second before I regained my composure and listened to what he had to say about her.

"Do you know her?" He continued, "She has silky hair that is pink and reaches her shoulders and has chocolate brown eyes. They remind me of milk chocolate when she's happy and wood when she's angry. She's loud and somewhat obnoxious but very loving and protective. Do you know her?"

A small smile graced my lips as I replied, "Yes. She's my best friend."

He gasped and looked down at me.

Before he could comment I continued, "And I think you two are perfect for one another. But do me a favor," I said lightly.

He nodded eagerly while having a blinding grin slapped across his face.

"Do not hurt her. I don't want her to have to go through heart break, not again. And especially since she loves you so much."

I clapped my hand over my mouth in realization and slowly turned to see a dazed Tsubasa.

"She...loves...me?" He looked so hopeful and happy.

I smiled and gave him a look. "Yeah, so you better not go breaking her heart. Or else this relationship will take a devastating turn for the worst."

Tsubasa dismissed my warning with a wave of his hand. "I gotta go see her," He muttered.

As he dashed away, I yelled, "What about the information?"

He called over his shoulder, "I'll meet you after school tomorrow!"

Sighing, I walked into my class to find everyone seated and looking at me with confused looks.

"Good afternoon!" I chirped.

As I went to take my seat, the bell rang and my classmates got up and left.

"Wha..."

"Mikan you're late. School just ended," Nobara, Anna, and Nonoko told me from my side.

"Oh..." I huffed grabbing my stuff.

"Well you shouldn't have taken so long," Nonoko scolded me, seeing my evident disappointment.

I sighed and realized something was missing. "Hey, where's Misaki?"

Anna's eyes practically turned in to hearts as she gossiped over Misaki. "She's meeting her boyfriend," she cooed.

I smiled in a knowing way. Now I knew something the others didn't: Misaki's boyfriend.

"What?" Nobara asked. Should've known she'd notice my smirk.

"I," I started, leaning in closer to my friends as if to share top secret information.

"Met," They all leaned towards me, eyes alight with curiosity.

I waited for another minute.

"MISAKI'S BOYFRIEND!" I finished my sentence in a high-pitched squeal and started to jump up and down while clapping. I then proceeded to calmly walk into the cluttered hallway.

Nobara instantly began shooting questions on what he was like with Nonoko cheering her on. Meanwhile, Anna stood there, stunned with the new information.

"B-b-b-b-boyfriend?" She whispered. "Of M-M-M-M-MISAKI?!" Her screech attracted stares from the other students.

"What's he like? Is he hot? Did you warn him? Is he worthy of Misaki? Does he really have azure eyes? Is he amazing? Did you talk to him? About what? What are his interests? Hobbies? Likes? Dislikes? Did you tell him about Misaki's love? Does he love her too? Did you ask him that? Or could you see it in his eyes? Is he-?"

I interrupted Anna's raid, "Calm down!"

Again, all eyes turned to us as we made our way towards the exit of DAFE.

"I'm only gonna say this once so listen up."

All three girls fell silent and stared intently at me. We stopped outside by the steps and I smirked.

"He's totally hot, really goofy but caring, he's in a band, and is totally worthy of Misaki."

With that, I bolted towards the violet convertible that was parked at the curb, waiting for me.

"COME BACK HERE!" Nonoko hollered after me.

I ran even faster as I heard their rapid foot steps.

"THAT'S NOT ENOUGH INFORMATION MIKAN! NO FAIR!" Anna chimed. Anna had a fire in her eyes and somehow, her teeth had become...pointy.

The convertible door flung open and I collapsed inside while shutting my door.

"Go!" I ordered my best of all best friends.

Her amethyst eyes glared at me for a moment, until she saw the three maniacs running towards her 'sweet baby'. Then, she booked it out of my campus.

Once we were clear, I let out a breath of relief.

It was all okay.

I spoke too soon.

Hotaru's hard glower was practically burning holes into my face. "Don't. Ever. Order. Me," She seethed. "Ever. Again."

I gulped and nodded my head.

"Good," She stated, returning her gaze to the road.

"Guess what Hotaru!" I asked, back to my cheery self - this happened a lot so I was used to it.

She peeked at my through her lavender locks which were cut in a pixy-style.

"I'm gonna be a lead dancer in a music video!" I squealed.

She stayed silent for a while, pondering on my statement. I peered over to look into her eyes to find her true emotions. There was a mixture of contentment and pride for me. Even though my best friend acted cold and distant, I knew that she cared. I could always tell by the look in her captivating eyes.

"I'm surprised," Her mono-tone voice brought me back to life. "That someone like you could make it as a lead dancer in a music video. I've seen you dance and you suck."

My once beaming smile dropped into a deep, depressed frown. Instead of feeling as though my eyes were twinkling with excitement and anticipation, I could feel tears start to well up beneath my lids.

"Hotaru…"

"But this should be a good start," She muttered, mostly to herself. "At least then you won't be thinking about-"

I cut her off by saying, "Hotaru."

My voice was low and held a warning sound that rang from the depths of my lungs. I knew she was referring to Reo, but I didn't want to deal with that asshole; not now at least.

She seemed to notice my mood and quickly changed the topic. "They're lucky." Her voice was as lifeless as ever.

We had just pulled into our apartments parking lot, and Hotaru cut the engine.

"Who?" I questioned, a little lost from the sudden transition.

Her face was turned away from me, but I could see the right side of her mouth lift up a little. I must be dreaming.

"The band that has you for their lead dancer, they're lucky."

I pulled back, flabbergasted and confused.

For one, Hotaru just complimented me...I think. If you receive a compliment from _the_ Hotaru Imai, you know that you are worthy and amazing at what she complimented you on. This is actually only the third time Hotaru has complimented me. That's right, in all of the nineteen years that we've known each other, Hotaru has only given me three compliments.

"But you just said that-"

She got out of the car and briefly glanced at me.

"I did," She replied.

Just like that, she walked towards our apartment doors like everything she just said made sense.

Once she sensed my absence, she turned to me and cocked her head a little. "Coming, Baka?"

Her voice was the same - stoic and seemingly careless - but I could see the emotion that she was feeling. It left behind my friend's cold façade and brought forth her heart. Hotaru's amethyst eyes were no longer dull akin to steel; they appeared as if they had turned into liquid. The way her gaze met mine brought joy and happiness to the depths of my doubts. Only Hotaru could make me feel this way with just a glance my way. I even saw a small smile grace her lips.

The feeling in Hotaru's eyes, was love.

I may never get her, and she may act cruel to me, but I knew that Hotaru cared and loved me. And that's all that really mattered.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews everyone!**

* * *

**Chapter 2:**

The symbol crashed and rang throughout the empty studio. I drifted back into reality and could feel beads of sweat drip down my temple and back. I just danced to a rather intense beat and my panting only proved how arduous the song was.

I peeked at the clock and my hazel orbs widened in realization.

"Crap! I'm gonna be late for singing! Not again!"

I dashed to my duffel bag and threw my towel and water inside. Not bothering to zip it up, I bolted down the halls, apologizing to the people I plowed over.

As the bell rang, I slammed open the door to my singing class proclaiming, "I am not late!"

I was trying to grab some oxygen as all of my classmates turned to me and giggled at my disheveled appearance. Nonoko and Anna rolled their eyes while Nobara sighed and started shaking her head. Misaki just laughed and pointed at me, pointing out that I had failed - again. Sadly, being late was a habit of mine. One of my goals this year was to try to be _not_ late. So far - I was failing.

"Take a seat Mikan," Narumi chirped cheerfully while flipping his golden locks that were curled at his shoulders.

I smiled at my - slightly gay - sensei, since we were rather close.

"Yes, Sir!" I scrambled to a seat between Nobara and Anna in the circle of chairs.

Narumi clapped and began announcing our agenda. "Today, your song is due."

Groans echoed through the room for those who had forgotten.

"As you should've remembered, I assigned for everyone to create a song. You will now sing before the whole class! There has to be a soprano and mezzo-soprano style in your song, girls. Boys, you needed to have a countertenor and a baritone to meet the requirements." The boys moaned, since most can barely even do a tenor voice. I smirked ever so slightly, 'cause I can do all tones from a soprano to a contralto.

**(A/N: soprano is the highest for girls and mezzo-soprano is the common female tone for singing. C****ountertenor is the highest pitch for boys while baritone is the usual tone. Tenor is between the two. Contralto is the l****owest girl tone.)**

"It'll be okay boys!" I encouraged them.

They looked at me, surprised at my attempt to up-lift their spirits.

"It won't be the end of the world if you don't nail the countertenor. Just try your best and have fun!" They all smiled back and you could practically feel their confidence boosting.

Narumi started to bounce on the balls of his feet. "Oka~y. Who wants to start?"

No one moved a muscle.

That is, until Reo stood up.

"This is from my new album," He stated.

He walked over towards the piano and sat down. Without a sheet of music, he began to play, and you couldn't help but get lost in his silky voice.

_Some Nights_  
_By: Fun_

_Some nights I stay up_  
_Cashing in my bad luck._  
_Some nights I call it a draw._  
_Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle._  
_Some nights I wish they'd just fall off._  
_But I still wake up!_  
_I still see your ghost!_  
_Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for._  
_Oh!_  
_What do I stand for?_  
_What do I stand for?_  
_Most nights,_  
_I don't know_  
_Anymore._  
_Woah (6x)_

_This is it boys this is war!_  
_What are we waiting for?_  
_Why don't we break the rules already?_

_I was never one to believe the hype._  
_Save that for the black and white_  
_I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked,_  
_But here they come again to jack my style._

_That's alright._  
_I found a martyr in my bed tonight_  
_She stops my bones from wondering just who I_  
_Who I-Who I am,_  
_Oh who am I?_  
_Mmm? Mmm?_

_Well some nights I wish that this song would end,_  
_Cause I could use some friends for a change._  
_Some nights I'm scared you'll forget me again._  
_Some nights I always win_  
_I always win._  
_But I still wake up._  
_I still see your ghost_  
_Oh Lord I'm still not sure what I stand for._  
_Oh!_  
_What do I stand for?_  
_What do I stand for?_  
_Most nights,_  
_I don't know,_  
_Anymore._

_Come on!_  
_So this is it?_  
_I sold my soul for this?_  
_Washed my hands of doubt for this?_  
_I missed my Mom and Dad for this?_

_No._  
_When I see stars,_  
_When I see,_  
_When I see stars that's all they are._  
_When I hear a song,_  
_That sounds like this one,_  
_So come on!_  
_Oh, come one._  
_Oh, come on._  
_OH COME ON!_

_Well this is it guys, that is all._  
_Five minutes in and I'm bored right here._  
_Ten years of this and I'm not sure if anybody understands._

_This one is not for the folks at home._  
_Sorry to leave Mom I had to go._  
_Who the hell wants to die alone,_  
_All dried up in the desert sun._

_My heart is breaking for my sister,_  
_In the con that she calls love._  
_And I look into my nephew's eyes._  
_Man you wouldn't believe,_  
_The most amazing things,_  
_That can come from,  
Some terrible lies!  
AH!_

My eyes widened as I heard Reo transition perfectly from a baritone, to a tenor, to a countertenor, and back.

_The other night,  
You wouldn't believe the dream I just had about you and me.  
I called you up,  
But we'd both agree._

_It's for the best you didn't listen._  
_It's for the best we get our distance._

_It's for the best you didn't listen._  
_It's for the best we get our distance._  
_Oh._

The song faded out and everyone stood there, too shocked to move. What the hell? No one - and I mean _no one - _knew that Reo had it in him to:

A) sing high like that and...

B) play the piano like a fucking angel.

"Holy shit," I muttered.

Reo was watching me with an expectant look. He grinned as he heard me utter my bewilderment.

"Okay!" Narumi's ecstatic voice brought everyone out of their own stupor. "Magnificent Reo! Absolutely amazing!"

Slowly, everyone reacted by clapping, whistling, and screaming compliments. Everyone, except for me.

"Who wants to go after _that_ performance?"

The room fell silent. My classmates didn't even move.

Or so I thought.

"Great Mikan! Thanks for volunteering!"

I gave him a puzzled look. "I never volunteered."

He chuckled. "Than why are you standing ahead of all of your classmates?"

I looked around and noticed everyone had taken a step back, except for me. Now it looked as though I had stepped forward.

"Thanks guys," I said under my breathe.

My so called 'friends' gave me apologetic looks while my so called 'best friends' cheered me on.

Sighing, I walked towards the same piano Reo had just gotten up from. As we crossed paths, he whispered something into my ear that sent chills down my spine. I could practically feel his lips touching my lobe and lightly blowing. For a moment, I stopped in my tracks, frozen by fear. My eyes were trained on Reo's turned back as he confidently strolled to the group of students.

His voice rang inside of my head.

_I won't give up on you. And you're right, I haven't changed, I'm the same and so are you. You'll come back to me, and history will repeat itself. But this time, you _**won't** _escaped._

Screw it, I'm gonna beat that bitch.

I ruffly opened the piano and dropped - very ungracefully - onto the bench. Screw the sheets, screw Reo, screw my frickin hell hole of a life.

Breathe Mikan, breathe.

My breath became even as I placed my fingers over the smooth, white keys. Closing my eyes, I began my intro. **(A/N: I recommend to listen to this song. It's better than the lyrics make it look :)**

_Happy_  
_By: Leona Lewis_

_Someone once told me,_  
_That you have to choose,_  
_What you win or lose._  
_You can't have everything._  
_Don't you take chances,_  
_You might feel the pain,_  
_Don't you love in vain,_  
_Cause love won't set you free._

_I could stand by the side,_  
_And watch this life pass me by._

_So unhappy,_  
_But safe as could be._

As the song built up, I opened my lids and locked my gaze with Reo's. I sent all of my depression, hatred, anger, and betrayal towards him through the lyrics of my song.

_So what if it hurts me?_  
_So what if I break down?_  
_So what if this world just throws me off the edge,_  
_My feet run out of ground?_  
_I gotta find my place,_  
_I wanna hear my sound!_  
_Don't care about other pain in front of me,_  
_Cause I'm just tryin' to be,_  
_Happy._  
_Yeah._

Reo seemed to want to look away. Anyone could see the guilt consuming his very being. But I wouldn't stop there, not only because it was a grade for singing, but because I _wanted_ him to feel the hell he had put me through. I continued to allow my emotions to leak through my eyes and into his soul.

_Just wanna be,_  
_Happy,_  
_Yeah._

_Holding on tightly,_  
_Just can't let it go._  
_Just tryna' play my role._  
_Slowly disappear,_  
_Oh._

_Well all the tears they feel like they're the same._  
_Just different faces,_  
_Different names._  
_Get me outta here._

_Well I can stand by the side,_  
_And watch this life pass me by._  
_Pass me by!_

_So what if it hurts me?_  
_So what if I break down?_  
_So what if this world just throws me off the edge,_  
_My feet run out of ground?_  
_I gotta find my place._  
_I wanna hear my sound!_  
_Don't care about other pain in front of me,_  
_Cause I'm just tryin' to be,_  
_Happy-y-y-y!_

Everyone's eyes widened as I nailed the soprano, breaking a glass on Narumi's desk. Reo's eyes were in turmoil; a mix between astonishment and all of the feelings that I am shoving down his throat.

_Oh!_  
_Happy._  
_Oh._  
_So any turns that I can't see,_  
_I'll count a stranger on this road,_  
_But don't say victim._  
_Don't say anything._

_So what if it hurts me?_  
_So what if I break down?_  
_So what if this world just throws me off the edge,_  
_My feet run out of ground?_  
_I gotta find my place._  
_I wanna hear my sound!_  
_Don't care about pain in front of me,_  
_I just wanna be,_  
_Happy._  
_Oh, yeah!_  
_Happy._  
_Oh, yeah!_

_I just wanna be,  
__Oh.  
__I just wanna be,_  
_Happy!_

The sound of the piano drew on into the stunned silence of the room. When my fingers lifted from the final key, I broke my gaze away from Reo to see my classmates gaping at me. For some, it was the first time that they had heard me sing. But I didn't comprehend why my friends and Narumi seemed so affected by my song. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw a lone tear escape from Narumi's amaranthine eyes.

I sat there for a couple of minutes, letting them gawk at me, until I couldn't take it.

"So…how was it Narumi?"

He snapped out of his daze and - in an instant - was clutching me to his chest while cooing about how great I was. "Oh Mikan! That was so touching! I felt as though I could feel all of your sorrow and pain! You're angelic voice brought tears to my eyes! How could such a cheerful beauty be so depressed on the inside?"

I'm never content Narumi, it's all a fake. Please realize this. Let me open up to you. Hold me in your arms as I sob over my lost Father and my mother who is buried in the ground. Smooth my hair and counsel me through my hard times. Just be there for me, be there when I need someone to dump all of my devastating tales upon. Be there when I need a shoulder to lean on. Be there when Reo pounces on me. Just, please, be there.

Realize that all of the Mikan that you knew, has already been packed, sealed, and shipped to Heaven.

Of course he doesn't do any of the above and I don't scream all of my thoughts to my poor, loving, gay, teacher.

No, instead I said, "Glad you liked my song Narumi!" With a fake smile sculpted onto my face.

Disappointed that Narumi was just as dense as everyone else, I trudged to my seat and let my thoughts consume me.

I always wanted for some man to hold me and reassure me of the following days. After all, that's what my M.I.A Father had always done.

When a bullet had zipped through my thigh, he had patched it up while singing his special lullaby to me.

_Just close your eyes,_

_The sun is going down._

_You'll be alright,_

_No one can hurt you now._

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound._

He had sung that song to me so that it was embedded into my brain. Whenever I was crying, I'd remember his counseling words:

_Hush child, it'll be okay. Papa's here._

_Shh, don't cry. Don't cry._

_Remember, no matter what, there is always someone in this world that loves you, even if they don't know it yet._

Or he'd hum my lullaby. I still remembered when I asked how he made it up one time.

_"Hey Papa?" A young brunette said._

_"Yes Princess?" Dad replied, flickering his green pools my way. Mikan knew that Papa was busy with stitching her back, but she couldn't help but ask after he sang the lullaby._

_"Where'd you get my song from?" The cute, bosky, little six year-old inquired._

_Papa smiled and cautiously put the needle and thread down to face his bundle of joy. His ash-blond hair swayed in the wind for they were in the woods. _

_"Actually, Mama made it up."_

_The young brunette perked up at Mama's name. "Mama?! Did she finally reply to our mail?" _

_She was practically jumping with joy. Mama had been in a terrible accident and was sent to a hospital. She's been there for almost six months and they haven't heard from her yet. Papa won't tell her where the hospital is, but he says she's in good hands, so - being the dense, clueless, girl Mikan was - she trusted him._

_His emerald eyes with brown specks seemed to turn solemn for a moment. "No, not yet Princess. But I bet she'll send word soon." _

_Papa's large hand ruffled her chestnut pigtails as she beamed at his reassurance._

_ "Anyway, one day I came home and you were crying on the couch. Mama was trying to help you, but nothing worked. Not lollipops, not stuffed animals, not TV, nothing. We didn't even know why you were crying." _

_His face was soft as he spoke of his dead wife. He didn't have the heart to reveal the fact to Mikan yet, so she thought Yuka was in a hospital far away. _

_"After trying for almost an hour, Mama sat you on her lap, and started to sing your lullaby. Almost instantly you calmed down and seemed almost mesmerized. Now, that's the only way to put you at ease."_

_The bubbly girl smiled. "So I still have a piece of Mama, right? When she returns, I'll give it back to her. Right Papa?"_

_Izumi nodded his head dolefully and finished her stitches._

He had kept the secret from me until I was seven; almost five months from that time. I had asked for details, God how I wish he never gave the information to me. I had nightmares from seeing his explanation on how my Mother died - still do.

Hotaru would come in asking what's wrong with her Baka Gun in hand and I'd say nothing. She'd give me a skeptical look and nonchalantly declare that she's sleeping in my bed. Her reasons were always 'I want to. Now shut-up,' or 'An invention went wrong in my room.'

Honestly, I was glad that Hotaru was always there for me when I needed her. What I didn't understand was why she never questioned me about my night-terrors, my spacing-out moments, or how sometimes I'd randomly break down sobbing. That's kind of something that everyone would ask if known!

But each time, she'd either act as though nothing happened, or just keep an eye on me. I wanted to confide in her so badly, but for some reason, I didn't. Maybe because I didn't want her to pity me, but I knew that she would never.

I've tried to confess to her. But each time, I'd hear my Father's voice.

_"Let's keep this our little secret, okay Princess?"_

_"Okay!"_

If only she interrogated me, then I would never hesitate to spill the beans.

I sighed as my mind went to war against itself.

**RING! RING! RING!**

I jumped from my seat and screamed when the bell signaling the end of school scared the living crap out of me.

"Fucking bell." I continued to curse the bell under my breath until I remembered that I was going to meet the band today.

I squealed then dashed out of the classroom, leaving my four best friends in my dust.

I flung the door open and scowered the school grounds for Tsubasa's tall frame. He was no where-

A hand clamped over my mouth and pulled me behind the building. I tried to struggle against my attacker by using some techniques I had learned over the years. I pulled my head forward and slammed it back into my kidnappers head. Then, I turned to deliver a kick to the jerk's face when his voice stopped me.

"Ow! What the hell Mikan?"

My leg was outstretched, inches away from Tsubasa's nose.

"Tsubasa?" He was my kidnapper? "Why the hell did you try to kidnap me?"

I saw his nose gushing blood and immediately felt bad for:

A) Assuming he had turned on me and...

B) Head-butting him.

"Oh my God! I am so sorry!" I pulled out a towel from my bag and gingerly pressed it to his nose.

I continued to apologize while he kept on saying it was nothing. After the blood stopped, we started towards his motorcycle which was parked behind the building.

His nose looked pretty bad; black and blue and swelling by the minute.

"I truly am sorry Tsubasa, you just scared the shit out of me."

He chuckled and waved me off as though it were nothing. I felt as though he was embarrassed that a girl got the best of him.

"By the way, why were you dragging me back here? And why is your bike parked back here?"

He nervously chuckled while scratching the back of his head. "Well…you see….I didn't want anyone to see me, that's why I parked my bike behind your school; it's also partially why I grabbed you. I couldn't get your attention so I had to take you. I knew you'd scream if I touched you so I covered your mouth."

Seemed plausible enough.

Then, an evil grin spreaded across his face. "Plus I wanted to make you pee your pants." He erupted into laughter while I blushed in embarrassment. "You should'a seen your face! It was hysterical!"

I stuck out my bottom lip in a cute pout. "Mou, Tsubasa!"

We arrived at his bike. I waited for him to control his laughter before taking a helmet and sitting on the back. He sat in front of me and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Hey, I'm off limits." His voice was serious as he put his hands up in surrender.

I snorted. "You wish."

Again, he chuckled. I rolled my eyes at his goofy side, but secretly smiled - a small, but genuine smile.

"Just drive. And please don't kill me."

Tsubasa revved his engine and drove off into the rode, popping a wheelie. I shrieked and clutched to him closer, feeling as though I was about to fall off. Even though the engine was obnoxiously loud, I could still hear him laugh at my shock.

Our surroundings whizzed by in a blur since he was surpassing the speed limit by dozens. My stomach seemed to have been lost somewhere back at the school and considering the way no thoughts except 'jump off this damned machine' ran through my head, I'd conclude my brain is right beside my other organ.

We continued on the road until Tsubasa turned left onto a long private road. The navy-haired teen continued in a slow manner, maneuvering the twisting corners. For some reason, I noticed every detail about the paved pathway. Like how the oaks and pines were perfectly trimmed and how bushes of beautiful and kaleidoscopic flowers sprouted along the edge of the drive. This place was most definitely well-maintained.

After a minute, the tree-lined path widened to reveal a _huge_, white cement mansion. There was a fountain smack in the middle of the cobblestone drive with more stunning flowers gluing themselves against the stone.

Tsubasa parked his bike before the grand stair case that led to two double doors that were probably five times bigger than me. Shrubs and small trees lined the front of the mansion, which made it look more elegant. The 'palace' had ten windows on each side and seemed to have five floors. Flanking the right of the castle was an elaborate garden that seemed heavenly; while on the left was what seemed to be a garage. I counted ten doors for cars.

Holy shit these people were rich.

"You get over it."

I turned to see Tsubasa smiling kindly down on me.

He chuckled when he saw my dazed look and ruffled my hair. "Come on kiddo!"

I scrambled after him up the granite stairs and stopped again in front of the doors. Shit, they were five times bigger than me. The oak doors slowly swung open to reveal twenty maids - ten on each side of the hallway - and an old butler.

"Welcome back Sir." The old butler bowed deeply and the maids followed suit while chorusing a "Yes, welcome."

Before I could even blink, all of the maids rushed towards us. I would have flipped out, but when I was about to open my mouth in protest, they were all already gone.

"What the…?" After a couple of seconds, I realized that they took my bag, coat, and shoes. Tsubasa also appeared to be rid of his outdoor gear.

He was cracking up at how confused I was on the entire ordeal.

"Your face Mikan! First you were like 'Holy shit this place is amazing!' Then the maids stormed you and you were like 'Wait! What the hell?' You're priceless Mikan, priceless."

I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed, "Well excuse me for not being used to practically being raped when I enter a home."

He laughed some more before leading me down towards the doors in between two stair cases lining the side of the room. On either side of the doors were side tables with a vase of daisies springing from their spouts.

"Hugo," Tsubasa summoned.

The old butler scurried to Tsubasa. "Yes, Master?"

"Where are the others?" Tsubasa opened the doors to bring forth another hallway, but this time there were rooms that it opened up to. On the left is what appeared to be a formal living room with its ornate, white furniture and glossy coffee table centered in the middle. There was also a fireplace and a window that show the fountain from the front.

"They are in the Young Master's room, awaiting your arrival, Sir."

Tsubasa nodded and said a word of thanks to the poor man. I followed him down the hallway and saw that on the right was an office with a bare desk and a lap top resting dormant on top of it. There was also a red, leather swivel chair parked by the desk and another window showing a similar view as the formal living room.

Both of these rooms seemed too formal and rarely used. I briefly wondered why?

"This is the guest floor so that's why everything's so formal." Tsubasa explained, as if reading my mind.

I nodded in understanding as we proceeded to a four-way intersection.

Tsubasa pointed leisurely to the path straight ahead of us. "That's the bedroom hall," He turned his finger to the left. "That's the 'fun hall'. You know: game room, movie theater, pool, basketball courts, etc. etc."

I peeked down the hall to try to see something but all the wonders were locked behind doors.

My disappointment must have been evident because Tsubasa chuckled and threw his arm over my shoulder, steering me to the right hallway. "Don't worry, Natsume's floor is ten times better than all the crap on this floor."

At the end of the hallway, I could see an elevator. That's right, there was an elevator.

"This hall has the kitchen," I looked to my right and sure enough, there was a kitchen with shiny, new appliances and pots and pans hanging above the center counter. This was a chef's heaven.

"And the dinning room." I peered to my left and saw a long, glossed table with eight chairs on either side and one at each end of the rectangle. Hanging above was a gigantic chandelier, most likely made of real diamonds.

Before I could gawk at how shiny and perfect everything was, Tsubasa shoved me into the elevator and pressed the button with a number '5' on it. The button light up and we started to rise.

The elevator was made of glass so you could see the amazing garden that I saw from the front. I was damn right when I said it looked like heaven. Every flower and tree was in perfect place. There wasn't even a leaf out-of-place. Also, there was a brick path that glided through the garden, which was probably the size of my apartment.

"Damn…"

Tsubasa laughed again.

I sent him a death glare which only made him laugh harder.

"SHUT UP! I am not used to this and your ruining my moments!"

There were tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Sorry," He panted between gasps. "It's just…too funny!"

I crossed my arms again and turned away from him, upset that he thought my childish behavior is funny.

"Now, now, Mikan. Don't be like that." I peeked at him to see that he had finally stopped laughing.

Hating the slight look of worry on his face, I giggled and threw my arms around his neck in a half-hug. "Don't worry! I'm not mad, I was just disappointed that you laughed at my childish behavior."

I pulled back and saw him about to apologize - again - probably.

"But I realized that I don't care what others think."

He shut his mouth and cocked his head a little with a small smile on his lips.

"All that matters is that I have a good time and enjoy what I do." I forced yet another giggle and the doors opened. "Come on! I wanna meet your band!"

Grabbing his hand, I sprinted down the darker hallway. Instead of bash walls, these walls were a light red with black carpet. The windows illuminated the area to make it less creepy.

This time, instead of all the doors being closed, most were open. As we sprinted by, I saw glimpses of what was inside: trash on the floor, black leather couches facing flat screen TV's, and arcade games.

As we ran down the hall, I saw that this time there wasn't an intersection, but a door that was indented into the wall in the middle of the long hallway. I thought the hall was shaped like an 'L' seeing that it turned at the other end.

Tsubasa opened the double doors in the middle of the hall and marched in like he owned the place. I skipped behind him while laughing at his cocky air.

Suddenly, a pillow was thrown at Tsubasa's head. He stopped - mid-march - and fell to the ground.

"You're already annoying me." Came a deep, male voice. He seemed bored and irate. "First your late, then you come in like it's okay. Tch."

I helped Tsubasa stand and tried to defend my senior by saying, "It was my fault so don't blame him. I came out late from school."

Tsubasa smiled at me and shook his head a little. I was holding his arm, trying to help support his weight.

As I was about to face the culprit, a familiar voice rang into my ears. "It's okay, Natsume just has a short temper."

This one was soft and seemed to carry. I turned to the source to discover a familiar tall, muscular boy wearing a light blue button down shirt with the first two buttons unbuttoned and brown khakis. The blonde was staring at me with his big baby blue eyes.

"Ruka?" I squeaked.

He also seemed shocked to see me here. I ran to him and engulfed him in my arms.

"Ruka! Oh it's been so long!" I pouted out my lips while pulling back to see his charming pearly whites.

He chuckled, "I missed you too Mikan."

I jumped up and down while clapping. "You'll never guess what has happened to me while you were M.I.A! I got into DAFE! You know, the one I was always ranting about? And Hotaru finally let me move into her apartment with her - of course with a ton of rules but still. Then I met these four gorgeous, caring, and just all around amazing girls that became my best friends-!"

He interrupted me. "What about Hotaru?"

I giggled a little. "She's me best of all best friend - duh!"

He laughed and ran his hand through his shaggy mane. I didn't even realize that we had sat down in two bean bags, both being red.

"Anyways, then I made friends with all the people at school! Can you believe it? They said that I was really pretty and kind and energetic and that they needed that in their lives."

"Omg no way!"

Another male with shaggy brown hair jumped up and down in front of us while clapping. Gay much? He had caramel colored eyes and a huge grin spread across his face. His clothing was more like Tsubasa's with a band logo sprawled on his green T and black, baggy pants with a spiked belt running through their loops.

The stranger continued to speak. "That is - like - so amazing!"

I gave him a curious look, and concluded that he was mocking me.

I shot up out of my bean bag and walked up to him, grabbing his hands in mine and jumping up and down with him. "I know right!"

We both giggled with such falseness that it almost sounded sappy and planned. I stopped jumping and tightened my grip on his hands. He stopped as well, surprised by my sudden change of mood.

I yanked him towards me and sneered slightly in his face. "Don't jeer at me, it's not nice." My voice was full of innocence, but I could tell he got the memo.

The brunette nodded. My hands released his and I smiled brightly towards him. "Great! My names Mikan Yukihara Sakura and I would love to be friends."

His smile returned and he shook my hand. "Kokoro Yome - Koko for short - and I would _love_ to be your friend."

"Yay!" I turned to Ruka - who was smiling - and pointed to Koko. "Look Ruka-pyon! I made a new friend already!"

He chuckled along with Koko and Tsubasa.

"Ruka-pyon?" I turned to see a younger boy with silver hair and turquoise eyes. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a black hoodie that dipped to probably his belly button. Underneath his hoodie was a shirt that matched his eyes. I noticed that he also had a silver earring stud on his left ear that was linked with a chain to another stud at the top of his ear.

"You're face looks shittier than normal, Tsubasa," I heard him continue on a side note.

"So pretty," I unconsciously said.

I walked over to the boy that was probably a senior in high school and leaned closer to inspect his eyes. They seemed somehow familiar.

"Get away from me, Hag." The younger boy pushed me away from him, but I just stepped back a bit.

Extending my hand, I greeted him, "Mikan Yukihara Sakura. What's your name?"

He eyed me for a while, but I kept my smile bright and my hand extended.

Finally, he turned his head away from my gaze and crossed his arms, refusing my hand. "Youichi Hijiri, 18 years old." I let my hand fall to my side as I stared at the boy.

I remembered him now. Youichi - or You - Hijiri.

_"Sister-"_

_The young brunette chuckled. "I told you a thousand times You, I am not your sister."_

_He folded his arms across his chest and pouted out his bottom lip slightly. "Well you practically raised me; caring for my wounds and comforting me from_ **her** _harsh words. Whether you like it or not, you _are _my sister, and I love you as if we were kin._"

_After a while, the fourteen year old's lips thinned into a small, angelic smile. She sighed in defeat, and crouched down to his level while placing a hand on his head. "I guess you're right, You." _

_His smile grew 50 watts brighter and made the teens heart swell in happiness._

_ "But you may only call me that when we are alone or before people that do not know of our position. Got it?"_

_His turquoise eyes danced with gray specks of joy as he eagerly noded his head. "Okay!"_

I released my tense shoulders and smiled down at my 'brother'. His eyes remained annoyed, so I assumed that he did not recognize me yet. I'll let him figure it out on his own, see how long it takes.

"Oi," I turned to the source of the husky voice.

The boy had a mass of raven, shaggy hair that fell into his eyes, which were mesmerizing, crimson pools. They seemed to pierce my soul and scower through all of my memories. He was most definitely hot, and it showed even more so in his tight red tank top and baggy black pants. Behind him was a leather jacket and I wanted to roll my eyes at how cliché he was. Seriously? Leather jacket and bad ass look?

I'll admit it worked for him since if he was a more loving and caring type - like Ruka - then he would have every girl who laid her eyes on him jumping in front of a train to catch his attention.

Somehow - with his eyes cold and distant - it made me more wary of him; and I'm sure that was his goal. But I wasn't just wary because of his eyes. At a young age, I had to learned how to judge people - for my safety and for my parents stress level to drop by a millimeter. But for some reason, when our eyes locked, I couldn't read anything about him. All of his vibes spilt danger, but I knew that was just a cover. It was as though he tried so hard to be cold and uncaring, that his demeanor had morphed itself into the said traits. But deep - deep - inside, he had a spark of his old self trying to survive.

I decided than and there that I was going to salvage his personality before it was smothered like a fire.

His voice brought me back to the present.

"You're annoying me more than he is." The male was pointing towards my senior - who looked confused, as if he didn't know why he was being pointed at.

Ugh, this was gonna be harder than I originally thought.

I cocked my head to the right, puzzled by his behavior. "Why? What did I do?"

His eyes narrowed and he got up from the black, leather couch he was positioned on. My new 'project' stalked towards me, only stopping when our bodies were practically touching.

"Do I have to have a reason?" His voice was seductive, and it somehow made me think of Reo.

My breathing had changed to erratic gasps. It was the only sound audible in the now silent room. I tried - unsuccessfully - to calm myself down. Every limb of mine was shaking as flashbacks popped into my head.

_Mikan, if you just cooperated, I wouldn't have to reprimand you. Although, I do love to think of punishments for you. It's always a surprise with you. And you _**know**_ how I _**love**_ surprises._

Go away. Get out of my head! LEAVE ME ALONE!

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly trying to make the images go away. They quickly dispersed and I re-opened my eyes to find the crimson-eyed boy further away and eyeing me strangely.

My hearing returned after a couple of minutes. "-alright? What the hell is happening? Mikan?"

It was Ruka.

Tsubasa was standing beside me, looking slightly worried. Koko was behind him giving Tsubasa a confused expression while Ruka had his hands clamped on my shoulders with concern plastered onto his features. You was still seated on the couch, not noticing my tiny episode like Koko..

I took another calming breath before beaming at Ruka. "I'm just peachy!" He opened his mouth to protest.

Before he could, I turned to the man who had brought forth the images.

"What's you're name?"

His eyes changed back to their steely appearance and he began to glare at me yet again.

Thinking he hadn't heard me, I repeated my words slower. "I said 'What is your name'."

This apparently pissed him off. He started towards me with a deadly aura radiating from his core.

"I'm not fucking retarded you dumb-ass."

Luckily for me, Tsubasa adjourned his path.

"Woah there." He put his hands on the raven-haired boys chest to stop him. "This is our new lead dance, so you _cannot_ injure her Natsume."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Yeah, you can't injure me _Natsume."_

The boy - who was supposedly Natsume - growled. But eventually he smirked and backed away a little. "Fine."

I smiled in victory.

"But," My grin dropped from my face and I looked at him, awaiting his revenge. "You're gonna have to show us a dance. If _all_ of us don't like it, then you're out."

Great! I can so do this! My fist shot through the air and I let out a 'woop' before running to the stereo and clicking play. An up-beat, hip-hop song started to echo throughout the mini-house. I turned and walked into the center of the little area they had created for me to dance. There were three couches lining my 'floor' and on each sat a member of the band.

As I lost myself in my world, I sent Natsume a smirk with a wink attached to the side. I'll prove to you, you'll see.

Finally, my vision was blocked out completely and standing before me were five buff men, cornering me into a dead-end. They were all smirking while scanning my body like hungry wolves. Two out of the five lunged for me, attempting to pin me down. But I was more nimble and agile than they were, so I escaped their grasp by doing a duck and roll.

A hand spun me around and the mans other tried to grasp my shoulder. I leaned back and did a back-walkover, kicking him in the process. The gang threw punch and kick after punch and kick. I glided around them, never hitting them, but avoiding their attacks. The morons always ended up hitting their buddy when I dodged and soon, there was only one man left standing.

He sprinted at me and brought his arm up to sock me in the stomach. I ran at him and at the last-minute, slid between his spread out legs on my knees. I would've made it out, if the man hadn't grabbed my loose curls. He flipped me so that I was on my stomach and sat on top of me. In response, I brought my butt up and bucked him off of me. His muscular figure landed before me and I smiled in victory, dusting off my shoulders.

I was shocked when a pair of strong arms slithered their way around my waist. I inhaled the scent of the forest and slightly leaned into the hard but comforting chest. The man spun me around to face him, and I was surprised to see Natsume.

His face was stoic and he was still wearing the same outfit as before, so I knew that he was actually dancing with me in the 'real world'.

We jumped and danced around the dead-end, moving in sync to the beat with practically the same moves but with our own style added in.

As the song ended - the bass strumming one last chord - I found myself wrapped in Natsume's arms, breathing heavily with strands of my auburn hair falling in my eyes. We were staring deeply within one another's eyes while panting, both of us covered with a shine of sweat.

I smirked and pushed him away. "So?"

Ruka, Koko, and Tsubasa stood up and clapped with Tsubasa declaring how he 'told you so'. Youichi stayed seated, but his eyes showed confusion and approval. I thought I saw a shine of love as well but it disappeared before it could be confirmed.

"Everyone votes yes!" Ruka cheered as he ran at me for a hug.

"I never said anything."

We turned to Natsume and Ruka narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to let your opinionated self ruin this bands up-coming single? Without her, we can't make the music video Natsume, so no matter what, she's in."

Natsume glared at Ruka with his arms crossed for a while.

Finally I sighed and made my way towards the door. "It's fine guys. So what? He doesn't want me or the music video."

My senior along with Koko and Ruka looked like they were about to object, but oddly enough, Natsume beat them to it.

"Baka, I never said my vote." His voice was one of defeat, and I knew that I was in.

"Oh?" I skipped to Natsume and flashed him my goofiest smile. "So what's your vote then Natsume?"

His fists clenched and I saw his jaw tighten slightly. So much for salvaging his personality. All I could do was piss him off.

"You can dance in our video-" I cheered and hit him lightly on the shoulder in an elated manner.

"Oh thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou-!"

His seductive tone whispered in my ear as his arms brought me closer to him. My heart fluttered into my throat and my stomach dropped to my feet. Every word that I had planned on uttering was logged in my throat, clogging my air way, making me incapable of breathing. My clammy hands fell to my sides and I watched as the crimson-eyed boy walked cooly out of his room.

His word echoed in my head, 'Polka'.

Before the door closed, I let out a blood chilling screech along with a, "NATSUME, YOU PERVERT!"

I cannot believe he peaked at my underwear pattern!

Ruka chuckled while rubbing the back of his neck. "Anyway, Mikan...Welcome to our band: Raven5S."

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**Thanks sooooo much for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry for the late update! ****I hope you LOVE it! Or enjoy it...or just like it. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 3:**

I chatted with the guys - excluding Natsume - for another three hours. We got along extremely well and I instantly felt attached to every single one of them.

Koko weasled his way into my heart with his goofy grin always shining bright from it's post and his good-natured jokes. I just made a mental note to be wary of him, since he seemed like the prankster type. Koko said he was 21, which meant we were the same age. Sadly, he wanted to celebrate by going to a club to get ourselves drunk as fuck.

He said he was the drummer of the band and I could clearly see it: Koko jamming out on the drums, going full out -banging his head, slamming to the beat- and making up a sheen of sweat to make him look uber sexy under the stage lighting.

Tsubasa seemed to be the hands that supported my broken structure. Whenever I had one of my 'moments' when I spaced out, he'd give me an almost understanding and reassuring look. It was as though he saw through my façade and realized just how mangled I was. I didn't want to get my hopes up though, because if I was keeping track -which I _totally_ wasn't- he'd be the first.

I also learned that Tsubasa was the type to always make you cry because you're laughing too hard. He's just too damn funny; and without really trying! I could tell that he would be there to collect your pieces and patiently piece them together while making hilarious jokes or telling ridiculous stories that you couldn't tell whether or not were valid. All I could do was marvel at how…perfect he seemed. Misaki was the luckiest devil I've ever met.

Anyways, he played the bass. I was _lucky_ enough to see a special performance from him. I'm not saying he was bad. No, no, no. He played like he had made the damn thing. But he may have been…very…how should I put this…extreme with his performance. Meaning he kicked over chairs, broke vases, amplified his bass with ten amplifiers in the corner, and jumped around on the spoiled boys bed; which I knew he was going to get an ear-full for later.

Youichi was the pianist and I couldn't help but beam at him. When he was younger, You would always blab about how when he grew up, he'd be a famous pianist with some really cool guys.

_"And you'll be there too Sister! You'll be the other lead singer _**and**_ our lead dancer. All of the guys will love you and we'll live happily ever after. Just like in the stories you tell me!"_

Sadly, he didn't remember me yet. But, he seemed to let me into his locked heart fairly easily. I don't know if it's because I reminded him of, well, me, or if he just liked me. I desperately prayed that it was the former because if he let people in that easily, he had clearly learned nothing from our brutal experiences.

Ruka acted as the sun shining brightly on my heart. He was always smiling and lifting my spirits; he really was the same as in high school: Gentle as a butterfly, caring as a frickin care bear, loyal as a dog, and as peppy and cheerful as a unicorn, which I imagined to be rather peppy and cheerful for the record. I used all the animal relations since Ruka-pyon loves animals. Seriously, he hasn't changed.

The blonde told me that he was the lead singer, which of course made me attack him with hugs and 'congrats'. He had always wanted to become something more. Proclaiming he wanted to 'make a difference to not only humans, but animals as well'. Always about the animals. But I knew that he had found the perfect profession since his apparently 'famous' band was racking in the dough.

Natsume never returned during all of my three-hour stay, but I drank up the juice that the others spilled about him. Coincidentally, he was _the_ Natsume Hyuuga. The one that had been Ruka's best of all best friends since they were five. Ruka-pyon sadly had to move when he was fifteen and parted ways with him. I wanted to cry with joy when he told me about how they re-united and formed the band.

Ruka also said that Natsume was a far better singer than he was, but Hyuuga was inconsistent. Apparently, he can only sing like a god when he:

A) wants to and...

B) is singing for someone or something that he either believes in or feels strongly for.

The boys had only heard him sing once except You and Ruka who had heard him multiple times. I came to the conclusion that the two were close to Natsume - even more so than the others.

Instead, the crimson-eyed male played the guitar for Raven5S. He was also - apparently - amazing with the instrument.

"Mikan, would you mind if I came with you to your apartment?" Ruka blushed and I couldn't help but giggle at his obvious discomfort. "I thought I'd see Hotaru too…"

I cackled with laughter and loved how it felt.

Koko had also opened up one chamber of my heart that had been concealed since _forever_: Laughter. I loved how my sides hurt from laughing too much and how my breathe always seemed to escape me when I laughed for too long. I loved how my laughs became silent when I couldn't catch my breathe and how my cheeks ached from smiling so much.

Although I could do without feeling like a retarded seal when I'm laughing so hard that it's silent so I just clap awkwardly...

These boys, had resurrected a piece of me just from one meeting. I couldn't wait to hang out with them more.

"_Sure_ Ruka-pyon."

I sent him a wink which he replied to with a darker blush and some fidgeting. He was too easy.

"O-Okay. I'll drive you."

I nodded my head and giggled again at his embarrassed state. We said our goodbyes and started towards the end of the hallway, nearing the elevator.

"I want to apologize for Natsume's earlier behavior."

I smiled at Ruka, knowing he wanted me to like his best friend more than anything. "Ruka-pyon, don't worry. You should know me, I'm not that easily scared away."

His gaze was unwavering which was unusual for the shy and not-at-all bold boy. "Mikan, there's something you need to know about him. He's-"

"I can talk for myself Ruka."

The voice was husky and sent shivers down my spine.

Sure enough, when I turned to see who had spoken, Hyuuga was there, leaning against the door frame of what appeared to be an office.

"I'll walk her downstairs. She'll meet you in your car."

His crimson wells were trained on me throughout his demand.

"But-"

"No objections Ruka. You had your time, now let me have mine."

What the hell? What if I wanted to walk with Ruka? Well, I didn't mind walking with Hyuuga, but he could've asked; not declared as if his word was law.

"Why don't we try this again," I stated.

Natsume turned to give me a quirked eyebrow, as if granting me the right to continue. Oh the nerve!

"Hey Natsume! Where've you been?"

His eyebrow leveled and he seemed far from amused.

"No? Okay, thought I'd try."

He gritted out, "We're walking," and before I could reprimand him, he grabbed my elbow and dragged me to the other end of the hallway. Ruka stood there, looking slightly worried.

"Don't worry Ruka-pyon," I called as Hyuuga pulled me around the corner. "I'll see you in the car!"

Once we rounded the corner, Natsume released his tight grip on my elbow and started to stroll - very slowly - to the stairs at the end of the 'L' shaped hall.

"What's up Hyuuga?" I asked somewhat bitterly.

He raised his eyebrows and chuckled, every short sound getting under my skin for some unknown reason. I awaited his answer, but was the recipient of nothing except a side-ways glance. I gathered my patience and waited, knowing the raven-haired boy would answer in time.

As we walked down the starts, I got what I wanted.

"I don't like you," He stated in a terse, clipped tone.

I watched his features, looking for a hint of anything to clue that he was lying; but there was nothing.

"And why is that Hyuuga?" I asked, completely baffled by how he could judge me so quickly.

His scoff pushed my nerves further towards the ledge.

"Like, I have to tell you."

My face surely had dropped into a gawk as I processed his words. "So…what you're saying is…you told me that you didn't like me just to tell me. You never planned on telling me why," I dead-panned. "Come on Hyuuga, we're both adults here. Just sputter out your excuse of dislike for me."

Natsume growled lowly and I smirked, relishing the fact that I could get under his skin too.

"Fine," He spat.

Again, silence. And again, I waited for him to gather his bearings.

"You're a fake and cause too much attention."

I whipped my head towards those blood-red eyes and stared at him in disbelief. He saw through me? _HOW_? My so-called 'best friends' and everyone else couldn't see a thing. And yet, this boy - that I had known for like five minutes - already saw through me?

The whole time I debated with myself about how, Hyuuga had his rusty eyes trained on me, weighing my reaction.

His eyes...they seemed all-knowing and very observant. Was that how he deciphered the code that is me? He simply analyzed my movements and judged my characteristics to come to a conclusion that I was a fake? Even Hotaru couldn't do that. Sure, she knew I was hiding something but I don't believe she thought I was always supplying her with fake cheerfulness.

And to be fair, when I was with her my cheerfulness wasn't always fake. I felt happier around Hotaru, so I only added on some more cheerfulness that actually wasn't there. Technically speaking, I'm always mostly myself around the Ice Queen. But Hyuuga, had he actually seen through me?

Ever since I was left scarred, all I wanted was for someone to notice that I was incognito. But now, now that a random guy had seen through me, I didn't know what to do, except deny it.

"I'm a fake? _I'M_ a fake? Says the boy who pretends to be cold, distant, and emotionless."

Hyuuga's features twisted to show some form of shock before his mask replaced his face again.

"I saw through you from the very start. You think that if you act that way, you'll actually attain those traits? Think again. Trust me when I say that no matter what, you can't be something that you're not."

He stepped down the stairs, seemingly unfazed by my small tantrum. I took a deep breath and looked straight ahead, avoiding his probing eyes. Seriously, they just made me lose it and spill everything. If I wasn't careful, I'd tell him my secrets.

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to reason everything out with him. "I don't expect you to tell me your life story and what happened to make you this way." From the corner of my eye, I saw his jaw tighten. "And from everything that I've heard about you and gathered from your actions, you wouldn't do something that wasn't imperative. So you probably have a plausible reason for putting up a barrier and making yourself a bitch."

We had reached the bottom floor and were walking towards the entrance to the mansion.

He growled and I smirked again, loving that I could make him show _some_ form of emotion.

"All that I want Hyuuga, is the same from you. You're smart, do I seem like the type to do something that isn't absolutely necessary." He opened his mouth before I interjected, "When the matter is serious and life changing?"

He gave some thought to my words. I knew he probably couldn't tell since he'd only seen my fake side and a glimpse of my real self. He was most likely debating whether to base his conclusion off of the fake or the other.

Our feet met the first step of the outside stairs and I could see Ruka leaning against the passenger side of his blue convertible, waiting for me.

I decided to continue, choosing to see his silence as a reluctant yes. "You don't know me yet Hyuuga. You don't know what hell I've been through and you most definitely cannot judge me when you are doing the same as me."

"You're in a life or death matter?" His voice was challenging me, but he didn't even realize that he just gave away his reasoning for changing his demeanor.

I gave him a 'you-spilt-the-beans' look which he silently cursed to.

"I do not have to tell you anything. Although I'm dying to prove you and your cocky self wrong, I cannot let my secrets slip so easily."

My gaze fixed itself on Ruka to find him giving me a questioning look, as if asking if Natsume had done any harm. I gave him my best fake, radiant smile while speaking to Hyuuga through my clenched teeth. "Just keep in mind that next time, you might not want to jump to conclusions."

His eyes narrowed scrutinizing my words, trying to separate the truths from the lies. Sadly, they were all true. I'm not much for lying.

"And as for causing too much attention," We had reached the car and I gave Ruka a nod to the driver's seat. He nodded and secured himself into the leather seat.

I chuckled. "Being a band, isn't that your goal?"

I pulled open the door and hopped in.

"Oi, Polka."

I turned and glared at him, hating his nickname for me.

"Do not call me-"

"Call me Natsume. Hyuuga could refer to anyone in my family." With that, he waved a hand over his shoulder in farewell and disappeared in the mansion.

Damn, I liked to have the last word.

"Ready Mikan?" Ruka inquired.

I nodded my head slowly and replied with a distant, "Yeah."

With that, he revved the engine and zoomed off. For a while, the car ride was silent. I decided to think about everything that'd been happening and come up with a game plan.

Natsume knew that I've fabricated a complexion for my friends safety. Since he's not some boy who thinks that the world is a triangle, I'm assuming that he also knows that I have a trail of pursuers that want my head. Anyone could put two and two together since it doesn't take a genius.

Put the pair together, Natsume knows _me_. He knows some of my deepest darkest secrets and he knows my valid personality, or some of it.

From our meeting - if he's as intelligent as they say - he could gather a decent idea of my true form.

1) Natsume knows that I would bend backwards to protect my friends, so I am therefore loyal.

2) He knows that I have some dark secrets which can end with me being mysterious.

3) I practically told him that people are out there to get me so he can configure that I am cautious and have a certain set of skills for protection.

4) He can also assume that I am independent because it's only me in this muddle protecting everyone else.

5) I could be considered trustworthy since I _know_ how it feels to be betrayed. I _know_ how it feels to not have anyone that has your back.

Whether or not Natsume uses my strengths as an advantage or not, is completely up to him.

I've talked to this man for maybe a total of ten minutes, and he already knew more about me than my so-called 'best friends'.

In a way, he knew more than Hotaru as well. Natsume had obtained the knowledge of _two_ of my unfathomable secrets while Hotaru had yet to delve into one of them. He knew maybe 6 of my traits but Hotaru knew all of them. If you added them up like an equation, it would seem that Natsume knew more about me since the two secrets would count as something around 50 points.

The funny thing was, he probably didn't even want to know those things. Hotaru could put his knowledge to use and actually be of help to me. Like with Reo, she was calm and collected, and because of her, I was able to flee with my life.

I forgot about Reo, maybe they're even actually since Reo is another one of my secrets.

_I won't give up on you. And you're right, I haven't changed. I'm the same and so are you. You'll come back to me, and history will repeat itself. But this time, you _**won't**_ escape._

His voice echoed in my head, causing more turmoil to take place. That was most definitely a threat. He was planning to capture me again, but this time, I had little - probably no - chance of escaping. He had seen what Hotaru was capable of firsthand. And sadly, Reo wasn't one to not learn from his mistakes. His 'prison' most likely had versions of security that the FBI _wished_ they had.

Maybe Hotaru could crack his codes since she had equipment like that as well. But I doubt he had the same equipment that Hotaru had since she makes her own; without having the same equipment, she couldn't hack it quickly enough. In other words, I'd be long gone.

The only way she could dismantle his technology was if it were something from the basic utilities within the Special Forces or if the equipment was hers. The latter being almost impossible since she would never in hell give _her_ inventions to the man who changed me forever.

To sum it up: I was screwed. His filthy paws couldn't come near me or else I was done for. If I told Hotaru, she'd immediately go into defensive mode which included: locking our apartment with metal doors and barred windows, lasers that could slice through titanium like it was paper scattered everywhere, guns placed into walls that were activated with motion and her war bots.

Those things were better than the hulk. They were equipped with machine guns on their arms, bombs in their chest compartment, a _cannon_ packed inside their head, laser eyes, razor-sharp teeth, knives for knees and feet, tazers for torsos, and they had this weird smoke thing that came out of their ears…that's what to expect of Hotaru.

But Reo was a filthy rich whore of a super star. He had an infinite amount of buff slaves ready to do as he pleased. The bastard wouldn't think twice before sending them to their inevitable deaths. After a while, they'd override Hotaru's robots and hack the security with the help of the worlds smartest geniuses.

Could I still attend school? If I stuck around my friends, he'd just kill them to get to me. But if I stayed home, he'd come in search of me and kill Hotaru. My only choice was to run. But I couldn't do that because I just signed a contract with Raven5S. Maybe if I keep on the move, I could stall him for a while. Plus, if we get a gig we don't have to attend school. It's graded as a school assignment so we have school off until our gig is up. So schools off the list.

Tsubasa might let me crash at his house for a little. Same with Ruka and Koko. Youichi would flat-out deny me any access and Natsume…well I don't know what Natsume would do.

He might agree since he knows that I'm in danger. But he's also a selfish, arrogant, obnoxious, perverted bastard. Than again, that's just his cover…that is consuming his actual being. Natsume can't be as cold as to deny me safety from torture and death, can he? Might as well try. Plus, he needs me for his new album coming out.

"What is it?" Ruka's voice jerked me back to the car. I turned to find him watching me with concern evident on his face.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying for the innocent type. But I'm not exactly 'awake' yet so my lie was obvious.

His sigh sounded so exhausted. "Mikan, what happened to you while I was gone? First that weird thing with Natsume and now I look over and see you looking constipated and anxious." His hand captured mine and he squeezed it lightly. Ruka's pale, blue eyes caught my hazel orbs and I was trapped.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

My resolve was weakening. His eyes showed so much concern and worry and I could even hear the hint of pleading in his voice.

I slipped my hand out of his and patted it. "I'm fine Ruka." My smile felt wrong on my face, but it almost always did.

His gaze turned sharp for a moment. "Don't lie to my face Mikan."

I sighed and looked out the front windshield. Cars were zooming by and buildings appeared and disappeared within the blink of the eye.

"A lot of things have happened to me Ruka. But," I bit my lip with uncertainty. "I'm not ready to talk yet. I'm fine, really. Just got caught up in the moment is all." My smile was doleful, even I could feel it.

Ruka shook his head and turned back to the road. We were nearing my apartment.

"Then what was with the Natsume ordeal?"

I chuckled and rubbed the back of my head in mock-embarrassment. "I told you, it was a joke. I just-"

"Mikan." His voice was hard, and that's when I realized that Ruka actually wasn't the same. He was more confident, bold, and direct. Making him have more charisma of course.

"I've known you for a solid six years. I can see when you're sad, mad, happy, lying or faking. Ever since you walked into Natsume's room, you've been faking all of your happiness and lying about how you feel. I saw you spacing out and I _saw _the trepidation on your face when you cowered away from Natsume."

I sighed. "Look-"

"No."

I snapped my head to the once shy boy.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." His voice was soft again and he spared me a loving gaze tagged with a small smile. "I just hate that your lying to me and everyone else. You don't _have_ to pretend to be happy to make others happy. You've always tried to do that. Just show your true colors and don't-" His face turned solemn for a moment as he faltered. "Don't hold everything in. It causes more damage than repair."

A smile made its way onto my lips as he parked his car. I felt extremely lucky to have such a great friend.

"Thanks Ruka. I'll keep that in mind."

He visibly relaxed and seemed like the same Ruka I used to know. To be honest, I think I like the new Ruka better. He'll actually speak his opinion without fretting about how it would affect the other and seemed to have gained the ability to actually stand up for himself.

I skipped up to the doors and waved to the doorman. "Hey Hitoshi! How has your day been?"

His laugh always reminded me of one like Santa's. Hitoshi had a big tummy and he had gray hair since he was probably in his late sixties. He gave off the impression of a Grandpa who gave his grandchildren 20 bucks every time he saw them along with candy.

I loved how Hitoshi was always optimistic and up-beat, even as the doorman for our apartment complex. His eyes - which were a rich cooper color - always seemed to smile and gaze warmly down on you, even if he didn't know you.

"Hello Mikan. It's been rather quite today, but I'm lucky it's great weather wise. Gives me a lot to look at." His Santa laugh made an appearance and it made my lips thin into a small smile.

"That's great! I always feel so bad when it's winter and you're out here waiting for a stranger to demand you open the door."

Hitoshi gazed down at me and placed one of his meaty soft hands on my shoulders. "I know. Considering everyday in the winter you bring me some hot cocoa with a scarf, mittens, and some brownies."

Ruka laughed alongside Hitoshi while I smiled proudly. "Sounds like Mikan. At least it's not winter yet."

I rounded on Ruka. "I feel bad okay! No one likes the cold and if I had this sucky job I'd want someone to bring me those stuff." My heat died down and by the end of my altercation, I was fiddling with my fingers while avoiding their amused eyes.

Again, they laughed in unison. Huffing I dragged Ruka away with Hitoshi opening the door while attempting to calm his laughter.

"Always a pleasure Mikan," Hitoshi called out to me as we entered the elevator.

My hand shot up and I waved to him, trying to get out a, "Thanks, Hitoshi! See you later!" before the doors closed.

Ruka was still laughing, wiping away some tears. "What's so funny? I thought it was kind…"

This only made Ruka laugh harder.

I waited - none-to-patiently - while the elevator made its way to the top floor.

Hotaru demanded the top floor since it had access to the roof which included a pool, entertainment games (ping-pong, pool, air hockey etc.) and a bar. Misaki often abused the place for parties. Some may say it's funny when she showed up with our whole school behind her and me standing there in my sweats looking completely lost, but I find it irate and irking. Probably because the jokes on me.

"It's very kind, Mikan." Ruka had finally regained his composure. "It's just that-" He shook his head and gave me the look that screamed you're-a-lost-cause.

"Never mind. You really haven't changed have you?"

I felt the small smile gracing my lips drop as I remembered all the things that have tried to obstinate my life. All of the encounters have changed me. Reo, A.A.O, Luna, and the Chidori's. They have completely muddled my average life and turned it into some cruel story like one you'd hear about in a fictional novel.

Although, the meeting with the band definitely revived some of my old self. No longer did my cheeks ache from faking my smiles or my throat throb from feigning all of those laughs. Instead, my cheeks were sore from smiling too big and too much and my stomach felt as though I had done 100 sit ups from laughing so hard.

"You'd be surprised," were my words of reassurance.

I could tell he was about to interrogate me further but was forced to a halt when I bolted down the hallway as the doors opened.

"Last one there has to explain to Hotaru why you're interrupting her crab time!" I hollered.

All I heard was a, "Shit!" and then the clatter of feet trying to beat me to my room. "No fair! I don't even know where the room_ is!_ And you know you're a faster runner!" His cry made me cackle in victory.

"That's the point. _DUH_!"

He cursed some more before accelerating. Shit he's almost on my heels. I didn't want to be the one to break the news! We flashed by my room - number 5078. After a couple of seconds, I turned left down the hall and turned - not without sliding a few feet - back down my hall.

"What the hell-?!" I couldn't contain the bubble rising from my throat and soon heard my clear, content laughter echoe through the otherwise silent halls.

I collided with my door and sputtered out, "I win," before collapsing on the ground from exhaustion.

"Dammit!" Ruka panted as he sat beside me. I giggled before standing and searching for my keys inside my purse.

Before I could open the door, it opened itself and revealed a pissed looking Hotaru.

"What the _hell_ is the meaning of this? You know this is my crab time, Mikan."

I gulped before stuttering a reply. "R-R-Ru…?" I nodded and shut my ajar mouth with a smile crossing my face. "He's gonna explain." I pointed to the boy clinging to my leg, trying to evaporate into thin air.

When I announced his presence, Ruka stood, brushed off the dust on his shirt and pants and cleared his throat.

Without wavering, he extended his hand to the somewhat surprised Hotaru before proclaiming, "Long time no see Hotaru." He added one of his charming smiles before adding, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to stop by to see you. May I come in?" He asked, gesturing towards the threshold which was currently being blocked by my best of all best friends.

Numbly, she stepped aside to let him in. Ruka sent her another charismatic grin before prancing into our apartment.

I followed and watched as they sat themselves down at our box-like, green sofa. Ruka had encompassed Hotaru's delicate hands within his own and was staring into her violet orbs which danced with something akin to eagerness.

Silently, I tip-toed to the hall on the left and peeked around the corner.

Thinking I was gone, Ruka made his first move.

"I've missed you a lot you know." His voice was gentle but filled with sorrow.

Hotaru lightly shook her head. "Figures."

Instead of reacting to her obvious insult, Ruka tried again. "When Mikan came-"

"How did you two find one another?"

Ruka beamed, glad to show off some of his accomplishments. "She's going to be the lead dancer for my band, Raven5S. I'm the lead singer."

Faintly, I saw Hotaru smile. I craned my neck to see her eyes which were showing no emotion to the ordinary observer. But I could see it: the hint of pride and happiness.

"Congratulations." Her voice revealed nothing of her feelings. "Of course you take the risk though." I wanted to face-palm myself.

Ruka's smile faltered as she took her hands out of his and crossed them across her chest.

"What do you mean?"

Her eyes bored into his for a while, probably trying to decipher his new weaknesses and strengths.

"The likelihood of you becoming a big shot is slim to none. But, since my sources are correct, you have slipped into the slim section. You took a chance, Nogi. You _risked_ all the millions you've made."

Ruka bowed his head.

"_This_ is why I broke up with you. You don't think rationally, you're the type to do something because it 'looks fun' or 'because you want to'. I told you I hate people like that." Hotaru's voice was ice-cold as if it were slicing poor Ruka with shards.

"Liar."

Her amethyst eyes widened in astonishment - mine following suit - because someone, no, _Ruka Nogi_ stood up to _Hotaru Imai_.

"_What _did you just say?" She asked slightly winded.

Ruka's head lifted to show his determined baby blue eyes shining in the light. "You said that you hated people who do stuff without thinking. But you clearly love Mikan."

The hairs on her neck were standing on end and her lips were in a grim line. "What I meant-"

His blonde hair swished back and forth as he shook his head. "Doesn't matter what you meant. What matters is what you _said_." His eyes narrowed in scrutiny. "You've changed, Hotaru. The old girl I used to know wouldn't have made such an imperative mistake."

Her fists clenched and I couldn't help the small gasp that made its way through my lips.

Who knew Ruka could be so bold and daring?

"And don't even _dare_ deny that you don't love Mikan, 'cause you do. I honestly don't care why you broke up with me senior year, because that's the past." Ruka captured her fists and messaged them. "What I care about is the present. And I've changed, Hotaru."

After a few beats, "I can tell," was her soft reply.

The singer beamed at her hidden approval.

"I took the risk because I needed something to keep me on the edge. I needed the edge because without it, I wouldn't be able to come here and ask for another chance. Because without my edge, I wouldn't be able to keep up with you and your smart wits. Without my edge, I'd have _no _chance with _you_."

My best friend silently debated his words. After a long pause, she opened her mouth and spoke.

"Mikan, go to your room."

I gulped and slid quietly into my room before muttering, "Crap, now I won't know if they get back together until Hotaru forgives me."

I thought briefly before talking to myself again. "I wonder what game she'll make me play this time? Buy all of her supplies needed for a specific invention? Done that. Don't talk to her for a week? Attempted that. Beg on my knees for forgiveness? Multiple times."

My eyes widened in horror as I heard a soft feminine voice say, "Torture."

* * *

"Damn this toothbrush," I muttered under my breathe.

Apparently, Hotaru's version of 'torture' was making me work at her café, _The Mocha Mix._ Which I must say was a _very_ good form since I had been cleaning their toilets with a mini-toothbrush for the past hour.

I sighed. "Damn Hotaru."

"Heard that."

The voice was perfectly clear, as though she was whispering into my ear. Another part of Hotaru's torture was for me to wear big panda earmuffs that had a second function as communicators. I'm 'testing' her new product. From her brief description I knew that I could hear her and she could hear me since there was a mic in the ears of the panda face.

"Well can you hear this!" I haughtily replied while flipping her the bird.

"No." I laughed, knowing had finally beat her. "But I can see it."

My hand froze - mid-swipe - and I abided for her to reprimand me in some way.

"I can-" Before she could finish her most likely horrid sentence, a plate shattered on the ground in the background.

Through the speaker I heard, "That's it! I quite! Have fun raking in the dough without me _Imai._"

I heard Hotaru sigh on the other line along with a, "Not again."

My curiosity had met it's peak.

"What just happened?" There was only the faint sound of static. "Hotaru?"

Her reply came in time. "One of my best servers just quite."

Thinking off the top of my head, I grabbed the cleaning supplies and started to make my way up the stairs. "I can-"

"No."

"Mou, Hotaru. You don't even know what I was going to offer!" My feet were now dragging their way back down the stairs.

Damn bathroom. Damn mini-toothbrush. Damn Hotaru. Damn-

My feet slipped out from underneath me and the rest of my journey down the stairs was taken on my butt. I was aware that the whole ride down, I was making a none-to-attractive sound that had some semblance to a donkey.

Once I pop-squatted at the foot of the _cement_ stairs, I let out a low moan, "Ow!"

"You cannot replace her because of exactly that." I heard her sigh into the mic. "Mikan, you're just too clumsy. You can't even walk down the stairs right."

Instead of thinking about how to convince her, I asked, "Wait, how did you-"

Her bored voice interrupted me. "Know you were falling down the stairs? Same reason I knew you flipped me the bird." I could practically _see_ her roll her eyes. "This is my restaurant, Mikan. I'm going to need security everywhere."

I heaved a sigh and gingerly stood.

Of course she had security cameras everywhere.

"Hotaru, you're down a worker and I know how you hate to lose. Without a server - and might I add your _best_ server - you'll lose some of the money you could make."

There was no witty remark because this was Hotaru's weakness: money. She also knew I was right for once. Plus Hotaru never fought a fight that had an inevitable fate that was against her.

Trying my best, I chirped some reassuring words as I skipped up the stairs. "You know that when I try, I can be as agile as a ninja. I'll just have to try my best."

_I_ had beaten _the_ Hotaru Imai! This should go down in The Guinness World Book of Records.

When I reached the top of the steps, Hotaru was impatiently tapping her foot. She shoved a rather skimpy outfit into my arms and snatched my cleaning supplies from my hands. With that, the Ice Queen stormed gracefully into the kitchen. I couldn't help chuckling; she had an enmity for losing.

For the second time in a minute, I stumbled down the stairs and entered the bathroom. Quickly, I switched into the outfit and checked myself out in the mirror.

My auburn, curled hair was cascading down to my lower back and sitting atop was a small headband with lilac ruffles lining the smooth, white surface. The shirt was a v-neck T that was a carmen pink and draped over it was a jet black apron with frills along the edge. My skirt was the same lilac color as my headband. Underneath the smooth fabric was another carmen layer that peeked out along the edges. This fabric was more ruff and had a sort of criss-cross pattern decorating it.

To my chagrin, the skirt reached a little above my mid-thighs, reaching my wrists when I let my hands lay by my sides. Hotaru had given me black heels with ankle-high, matching pink socks. For some outrageous reason, the uniform seemed to flatter me. I knew that Hotaru had fabricated the thing to show skin but still hold some elegance to it; and her goal had seemingly been met. No wonder she owned eight clothes lines; she was actually good at creating the styles.

I flounced - for the third time - up the cement stairs, focusing on my footing.

"Hotaru," I called.

She appeared in the kitchen threshold with her Baka Gun in hand.

I rolled my eyes. "How does it look?"

Her orbs narrowed slightly as I did a turn for her and ended it with a curtsie. Her lips were in a tight line and she seemed to have a certain distaste for her hand-made uniform on me.

"You don't like it?" I asked uncertaintly as I tugged insecurely at the hem of the mini-skirt.

"No." I peered through my lashes to find her in the same state. It didn't help that her voice was sullied with disgust. "You look stunning."

My smile started to make it's rare appearance onto my face.

"That's the problem. The men will be all over you."

My mouth instantly fell into a concerned frown. I couldn't handle being touched anymore. It was almost like I obtained haphephobia **(Fear of being touched)**. But it was only in specific cases or when I was in a certain state of mind.

Hotaru's been experimenting on me to try and decipher when my 'disease' would act up.

I forced a smile on my face and gave her a reassuring wink. "I'll be fine. I promise, I won't have an attack." I held out my hand for her to shake. "And you know I _never_ break a promise."

_"Daddy, what's a promise?"_

_"A promise is something _**never**_ to be broken, Mikan."_

_"Why?"_

_"Just promise me, Mikan. Promise me that you'll never break a promise."_

_"Okay, I promise!"_

Her face was grave and reluctant, but she placed her hand within mine and gave it a firm shake. "Deal."

I should learn to make promises that I could keep.

* * *

"Mikan! The costumers are asking for you again!" Ai hollered from the small window leading into the kitchen.

I sighed. I'd been working non-stop for 5 hours now. All of the men have been asking for me because I'm - and this _is_ a quote - 'different' and 'fresh'.

Hotaru made Ai and Chikako - her other 2 best servers - babysit me. She was still fretting that I'd have an attack, but I've gotten the hang of avoiding stray hands and wolf whistles. Ai and Chikako helped a lot too.

Ai was a petite, stunning woman who was two years younger than me. She had these mesmerizing, golden pools that made you want to hug her tight and hand over a 20 dollar bill. Her hair had a navy blue tint to it and - with it's curled ends - it reached the middle of her chest in a high-pony.

I could tell why she was one of the top servers at _The Mocha Mix_ since she had this quality that made her very personable. From what I could tell, she was bright, bubbly and caring. We immediately hit it off too which was a major bonus since I'd been learning from one of the bests.

Chikako was a different story. At first glance, you'd think she was a super model that gave to charity instead of buying a million dollar mansion. With her clementine orange sparkling eyes and her bob of chocolate brown hair, who wouldn't? What also helped feed the invalid idea was how freakishly tall she was. Seriously? 6' 3''? I reached her chest at best.

But I wouldn't know because almost instantly, she had a certain distaste for me.

The meeting pretty much went like this:

_"Hi! I'm Mikan Yukihara Sakura. It's a pleasure to meet you and I hope that we can get along."_

_Her once kind orange eyes turned hard as she glanced at me. "Whatever."_

_I cocked my head a little, perplexed with how she was acting towards me. "I'm sorry, did I do something?"_

_"Shut up. Your voice irks me." Chikako spared me another glare before she turned on her heels and sashayed away._

_Ai walked up to me while rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm terribly sorry for Chikako. She doesn't take a liking to many."_

_I nodded in understanding._

I'd been failing miserably if you were wondering. Whenever I attempted to strike up a conversation she'd shut me down with a cool comment or a deathly glare.

"I'm coming!" I shouted back. Quickly, I grabbed the silver tray with some hot drinks balancing upon the smooth surface and gracefully trotted out of the kitchen. Chikako, for some reason, had helped me on a trick for balancing these trays.

_"Put your fingertips underneath. If you keep your palm flat like that, it'll tip over."_

_I brightened at her consoling. Maybe I was getting somewhere. "Thanks!"_

_She snorted. "Baka, I said to shut up."_

The order I was bringing was meant for a group of horny, teenage boys in the corner.

Placing the drink on their table, I plastered my best smile on. "Here you are!" I said cheerfully.

The one closest to me made a grab for my butt, but I avoided it with elegance. "Thanks sweetie. Could I get your number?"

The slime-ball wouldn't give up and ruffly gripped my hand within his beefy hands.

Instead of pretending to be happy, I yanked my hand from his grasp and sent him a small, apologetic smile. "Sorry, I'm not allowed." I pointed to where I estimated Hotaru was watching. "You know, policies and all." With a roll of my eyes, I turned and sashayed to another table that was assigned to me.

On my way, I passed Ai.

"Good job with that one," She whispered with a proud smile dancing across her features.

My face brightened with her words of encouragement. "Thanks."

As I reached the table, I analyzed the group. These guys seemed older, maybe even my age, and somewhat polite.

"Hello and welcome to _The Mocha Mix_. My name is Mikan, and I'll be your server today." They stared greedily at my breasts. I put my arms over my chest and smiled brightly at them. "Do you have any idea on what type of drinks you'd like?"

They seemed to get that I'm not 'easy' and surrendered. Politely, they recited their orders.

"Okay, I'll be right back with those."

I went into the kitchen and started to create the specified drinks. That was when I realized that it was just Chikako and me. She seemed oblivious to my being here and was concentrating on creating a strawberry shortcake.

"Hey, Chikako?" Her hand went flying across the plate and whip cream splattered across the counter.

Oops.

Her growl penetrated the palpable air. "Sakura!"

I backed up against the counter as she stormed over to me. We were inches apart and she was seething in my face.

"What. The. Hell?!" She hissed, punctuating each word with a harsh poke to my chest.

"I-I," I cleared my throat and put my hands up in innocence. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

Her hand ruffly pointed to the muddle of what was supposed to be an expert shortcake.

"You called me when it was obvious that I was busy concentrating! You sabotaged me and my shortcake! How the hell is that 'not meaning to'!"

I slipped from underneath her tall frame and stood behind her with my arms crossed and my chest.

"Look, I honestly didn't mean to. I'm not that type of person. I just wanted to ask why you act as though you have this enmity for me. It's as though you infer that I'm a bad person, but I can promise you that I am not."

Chikako looked pissed. "You're right, I hate you. I hate your _kind_."

My jaw dropped. "My _kind_? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

She chuckled, as if she was amused with my reaction. "Your kind: The type that gets whatever they want when they want it. I saw you come in here with the boss. The only reason you're here is because of your connections. You use people and then when you're done, you throw them out; like a paper towel. You walk around the place like you own it for Christs sake! Acting as though you're the top bee when you're nothing but a lower class pauper."

To say I was stunned would be a gigantic understatement. She thought I walked around like I owned the place? I stumbled around this place like a lost puppy in the ocean! Chikako thought I was a spoiled brat? I worked for everything I got and had a pretty screwed up life for her information. How could she infer something so far from the truth?

How could she be so blind?

"That's right, stand there looking like a frickin gold fish. You know I'm right about all of what I just said and-"

"You're wrong," I stated simply.

She seemed stunned into silence. After a couple of beats she reacted with a, "What?!"

I cleared my throat. "You are wrong. I came here to pay off a debt that I owe to Hotaru. I came here prepared to clean out used tampons and pads and brush the dirt and grim from the floors of the bathroom using a mini-toothbrush that would _kill_ my hand. But Hotaru needed me; and when a friend needs me, I never ditch them. I scramble around _her_ restaurant trying to remember which table is which number and which order goes where. Hands are constantly trying to get a hold of me and you know what? Considering I have haphephobia, it isn't too great."

Her clementine eyes snapped back to reality. "Why do you have haphephobia?" Chikako's voice was quiet and insecure for once.

I sighed, "Some bad past experience."

I walked around her and gathered my drinks onto the platter. When I turned she was still standing there, trying to gather her dignity and pride.

"I...I...Look I'm-"

"It's fine," I interrupted her. "Let's just try to get along better okay?"

She scrutinized me and my smile for a moment. After a while, she said warily, "You'll have to earn my trust and friendship."

I laughed as I walked out and others scurried in.

"Oh I know, and I'm ready."

* * *

**Thanks so much for reading my story! Please review, favorite or follow...or you don't have to but I enjoy them ;) Tell me, do you think the end of this chapter could've been better? Cause I feel as though I botched it up...?**

**You can ask any questions you have about this story and I'll do my best to answer them. And I'll try to update soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's my next chapter :) Thanks for all of the uber-mazing reviews too!**

* * *

**Chapter 4:**

**Baka! Baka! Baka!**

I fell to the floor and let out a low moan. "Ow!"

Perching myself up, I found Hotaru standing in my doorway holding her Baka Gun towards me. There seemed to be a small glint of amusement in her cold, lavender orbs.

She blew off the steam from the spout and nodded in approval. "Strong enough to wake Mikan. Guess it'll do for making a dent in titanium."

"Mou, Hotaru! That hurt!" I whined while rubbing the back of my now sore head.

Her weight shifted from both legs to only one as she crossed her arms. "It's 8 A.M. You have 10 minutes to get ready and be in my car. I will not tolerate my worker being late."

Sighing, I stood and started to rid myself of my comfy PJs. Apparently my torture wasn't through yet because for the past two days, I'd been working at _The Mocha Mix_ practically all day. Surprisingly enough, I actually enjoyed working there now. Ai was always pleasant and caring and Chikako seemed to tolerate me more than before.

I think deep down, she actually enjoyed my company. We have a love-hate relationship from what I'd gathered. She was constantly challenging me or dissing me or trying to make my life even more of a living hell; but if I needed her she'd be there. She'll take care of the business, then avoid me for some time - probably embarrassed that she helped me. As for me, I'd accept her challenges and disses with as much enigma as an 8-year-old who gets rewards for completing a task.

With one last peak in the mirror, I trotted out of my room and into our kitchen. Hotaru was seated on one of the bar stools, eating cereal with crab-shaped flakes...I always wondered how she got those types of things.

"Morning!" I greeted while popping some frozen waffles within the toaster. I turned and leaned against the counter to face my best of all best friends.

She merely spared me a glance before continuing her feast and tinkering with her invention.

Pointing at the pile of scrap metal, I asked, "What's the new toy gonna be?"

Hotaru's eyes seemed to sparkle with the change of topic. She loved talking about her inventions. "The Golden Retriever. It's form will be in the shape of the medium-sized dog that is painted gold. It's purpose: Retrieving and bringing back objects or messages. Such as newspapers, coffee, food, letters, voice messages, etc. It carries the objects within its dry mouth and can respond to voice commands."

I nodded my head and beamed at her. Whenever she talked about her in-progress inventions, I couldn't help but feel proud that she's my best friend and I'm hers. After all, not every girl has a genius as their best friend.

"Hotaru," I started warily. She met my nervous gaze and dropped her tools, giving me her full attention. Clearing my throat, I told her, "You know that today - at 3 - I'm supposed to go record the music video..."

Her eyes narrowed for a split second. "What a nuisance." Velvet pools boiled with distaste. "Now I'll have to give you part of the day off."

I squealed and hugged her across the counter.

**Baka! Baka! Baka!**

The floor was starting to feel comfortable...

"Not again, Hotaru! Jeez, all I wanted was a thank you hug."

She rolled her eyes and gathered her bags. "You, Chikako, and Ai are getting off at 12. Spend some bonding time together." Before I could kiss her feet she walked towards the door. "We're leaving."

I gazed longingly at my waffles that had yet to pop out to scare the shit out of me. "But...but..."

Her iron grip took hold of my collar and dragged me out of the apartment. The whole trip down the elevator, I was crying, "No! My waffles!"

As we passed Hitoshi and I was sobbing just that, he chuckled and threw me a candy. Content with sucking on the lollipop, I stopped my complaining and allowed myself to be hauled into Hotaru's convertible.

As we drove out of the parking space, I waved to the kind man and yelled, "Thanks, Hitoshi! I owe you!" His response was another Santa laugh and a small wave.

"So boisterous," Hotaru grumbled.

The drive to the café was filled with me rambling about anything and everything. Hotaru stayed in character keeping silent the whole time with the occasional annoyed glare. In no time, we were pulling into the small parking lot of _The Mocha Mix_. I hopped out and tailed my best of all best friends into the light yellow building.

"Good morning!" I called to all the employees. I had become attached to all of the kind-hearted workers and I believed that the feeling was mutual.

"It was until you showed your fugly face," grumbled Chikako.

Except Chikako, we had a mutual understanding to act like enemies.

I skipped up to Ai and Chikako, leaving behind my worries. "Hey guys!"

"Morning Mikan! It's going to be a beautiful day isn't it?" replied Ai.

Before I could agree, Chikako inserted, "Not with this whore around."

I rolled my eyes and pretended to check my dull nails. "You might want to treat me extra nice today, Chikako."

She glared at me while unstacking some chairs. "And why is that, Skank."

Ignoring her insult, I continued, "Unless you don't want to be let off early to go shopping..."

Her pumpkin orange orbs shined brightly as she thought of the possibilities. As if snapping out of her world, she stumbled back a little. Eyeing me warily, she asked, "How could you do that?"

I giggled and started to jumped up and down with Ai. "Because I have to dance in a music video at 3 and Hotaru wants us off at 12 to bond together!" I squealed.

Ai was cheering along with me. I even saw Chikako smile her gorgeous smile while attempting to mask it. Playing off her action, Chikako said, "I guess I could always ditch you in the mall. Now _that_ would be a break."

Rolling my eyes, I strutted towards the kitchen. On the inside, I was cheering because Chikako smiled at something _I_ said! That's a first for the whole 3 days that I'd known her.

The hours flew by since I was occupied with my job. Never once did Reo or Luna or anything related to the muddle that was my life cross my mind. That was another reason I loved working at Hotaru's café, because I was always too busy to think of everything.

Finally, the hour-hand clicked announcing that the time was now 12 o'clock. I ripped my outfit off and exchanged it for a simple pink, v-neck T with ripped, dark washed jeans. To tie everything together, I wore my brown combat boots.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, I found Chikako in a white, long-sleeve shirt with an orange scarf wrapped around her neck that resembled her eyes. Her auburn, shoulder-length hair was curled slightly at the tips making her seem more youthful. She was wearing light-wash denim with chestnut brown heels.

Ai appeared like a pixie standing beside Chikako. With her navy, mid-back lengthed hair in soft waves and dangling silver circles extending from her ear, she looked stunning. Her shirt was a fitted, velvet 3/4 sleeve shirt that had ties at the end of the sleeve. Ai was also wearing dark-wash jeans but hers weren't torn and were paired with smooth, black, ankle-high boots. There was a small heal so that the pixie didn't look as tiny, but it didn't help much.

"You both look amazing!" I sighed, envying how perfect they looked without much effort.

"Not as beautiful as you, Mikan. I wish I had your hair and eyes," Ai complimented. I laughed, thinking how can someone want to be like me when they have bodies like _that_?

"I'm glad I have no semblance to you. If I did, I'd commit suicide because of how ugly I looked," Chikako huffed.

Instead of giving her notice, I looped my arm with Ai's and skipped out of the café towards the mall down the street. The whole walk, we chatted and learned more about one another. From my interrogation, I'd gathered that Ai's an only child, her favorite color was blue, and that she loves her family.

I tried numerous attempts to strike a conversation with Chikako but she bluntly ignored me every time; choosing to chatter with our favored pixie.

The three of us waltzed into the huge, brick building as if we owned it. I immediately spotted a store that I loved and dragged the two beauties in it. We tried on different outfits and posed wearing ridiculous costumes. Chikako even laughed at one of them: pirate hat, flowered scarf, pig nose, metal helper bra, genie pants, and flip flops. Ai and I started having contests on who could fabricate the most ridiculous outfit and eventually Chikako joined in.

After sifting through all the stores on the lower half, we decided it was time to eat. All three of us were overloaded with shopping bags from varying stores. We even decided that we'd get matching sunglasses which were currently resting dormant atop our heads.

Ai offered to order for us so Chikako and I told her what we wanted and searched for a table. We found one with four chairs sitting in the center of the food court.

I sat down with an exaggerated sigh. "Damn, my feet are already whining."

Chikako chuckled. "Can't take the heat? I knew you were soft."

"Says the girl who fails at hiding her limp." Her clementine pools turned sharp as she glared at me. I smiled softly and suggested, "Why don't you wear those shoes you got? They'll match perfect with your outfit and won't kill you like those suckers," I said, pointing to the brown, strappy heels.

She scoffed, but took out the shoes from the bag. All the while, Chikako grumbled about me being a 'smart ass' and 'worse than a sassy sassafras'. I laughed at the latter, wondering where she fabricated such insane idioms.

Ai plopped down and started rambling off our orders as she passed the foods out. "Chicken caesar salad without tomatoes and a diet coke," She said within one breath while handing the said food over to Chikako. "And chicken fingers with a side of french fries tagged with a chocolate soft serve with chocolate jimmies on top with a water."

I laughed as she dumped my large order before me. She sighed and collapsed onto the seat between Chikako and I.

Hoping to start a conversation, I said, "So, why are you so protective of your family, Ai?"

Her once bubbly face noticeably fell as she reminisced some terrible memory.

"Well, when I was a little girl," She started. "I had everything. A father, a mother, friends, toys, a house, food, a bedroom, everything a normal little child would have at my age. But one day, my Father was shot by a stray bullet in a gang fight."

I gasped and caught her hand within mine instantly. I knew the feeling of losing your Father and I knew that it felt as though you were drowning in the bottom of the ocean: A heavy weight never lifting from your chest and every breath of yours seeming as though it would kill you.

Her eyes seemed to proclaim her surprise by my reaction. All set aside, she trudged on. "After that, my mother broke. She lost all jobs she obtained because she was constantly in this stupor where she could feel no pain or any emotion. At the age of 12, I started to work at a library where an old woman took pity on me. She paid me a fair amount for a full time job. Added to my other multiple part-time jobs, I was able to keep food near our diminishing bodies. Sadly, I couldn't gather a job to pay the rent. We were kicked out and lived on a cardboard box in an alleyway.

"Eventually, my mom came back to life and got a decent job as a waitress in a fancy restaurant. We rented an apartment that had three rooms: A living room/kitchen, a bedroom, and a trashy bath. It wasn't much, but for us, it was more than we could've ever hoped for."

Ai's eyes shone with un-shed tears as she told me her devastating tale. I wanted to somehow comfort her, but didn't know how to. This pain could only be shared by similarity.

Without skipping a beat, I said, "I'm proud of you, Ai." Her head snapped to me as my usual goofy tone took on a rather serious effect. "You trudged on and prioritized your mother over you. It takes a lot of courage to decide that you are going to try to salvage someone who is far beyond repair by sacrificing your life. But in the end, because you tried so hard, your mother was saved all because of you. I am proud of you for doing that - and because of that, I'm proud to be your friend. Hell, I'm proud to have even met you"

I felt a genuine smile form by the middle of my 'speech'. At the end, she was shedding tears, but for some strange reason, they seemed to be tears full of sorrow. I squeezed her hands and released them.

I heard Ai mummer, "I'm sorry," but ignored it for there was no reason to be sorry for.

"You speak as though you know the pain," Chikako challenged me.

Not wanting to bring forth those memories, I simply shrugged and replied, "I do."

Trying to change the emotional topic, I started to chatter about the band I was going to dance for. I finished off my food and offered to dump both of the girls trays. Ai seemed to come out of her world briefly to say yeah while Chikako seemed to be inspecting me.

I dumped the trays and skipped back to the girls. One was observing me with cryptic eyes while the other was looking almost guilty. Briefly I wondered why but decided not to press the matter.

Smiling, I picked up my bags and said, "Shall we?" While indicating to the awaiting shops.

* * *

After several hours of shopping, I bid farewell to my newfound besties. Ai waved while sending one of her stunning smiles while Chikako grunted and turned away.

I trotted to the café to tell Hotaru I was leaving. Upon arrival, I found _The Mocha Mix_ closed. My lavender-haired friend was locking it up as I approached.

"Hotaru." She turned to see me and swiftly started towards her convertible. "Why are you closing so early?" I asked..

Hotaru got into her car and signaled for me to sit beside her. "Come on, Baka. Unless you want to be late."

Smiling, I ran to her awaiting car and hopped in. "Thanks so much Hotaru! I never thought you'd think of driving me to support me. There is this one guy from the band that seems to hate me already and having you there will make it a lot easier to-"

"I'm not going to facilitate your encounter with Hyuuga," She interrupted me.

I pouted slightly, sad that she wouldn't even let me fantasize. "Then why?"

A ghost of a smile flashed across her pale pink lips. "My boyfriend says he'll take me out for crab if I go."

Instantly I picked up on what she was saying. My heart swelled into a turmoil of emotions, but mostly happiness and pride. "You and Ruka are together again!" I screeched.

Hotaru sent me a glare for my boisterous attitude but nodded curtly.

I started jumping in my seat in utter joy. "Go Ruka! Go Ruka! It's your birthday! It's your birthday!" I chanted while laughing at the twitch of one of Hotaru's perfectly trimmed eyebrows.

The whole car ride was silent but filled with my joyful aura. No longer could I think about the jerk, Natsume, because I was too overwhelmed with happiness for my two friends.

The car came to a sudden halt and I jumped out of it. I skipped up to the building towering overhead and rushed through the glass doors. There was a beautiful lady with blonde, wavy locks and bored emerald eyes.

"Hello!" I chirped while bouncing towards her. She snapped her head up, eyes shining in hope. Once she caught sight of me, the sparkle in her eyes died and she looked frustrated.

"What?" She hissed with irk.

I smiled, ignoring her clearly distasteful attitude. "I'm supposed to go to level 24, room 16. Could you perhaps help point me towards the lift?"

She laughed haughtily, as if mocking me. "Why would I help you get into this building?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hotaru sigh while stalking off outside of the building. Meanwhile, my cheerful smile wavered at her jeer. "Because I'm a guest here that needs to make it to the studio to dance in a video."

"Get out of here. You're not fooling anyone."

I took a step back at her harsh words. Why was she being so cruel? "I'm here for the shoot with Raven5S. They said they were booked for 3 so I'm-"

She flipped her hair behind her back and slammed her hand down before me. I restrained myself from reacting too much. "If you're not famous, you're not allowed in here. Now get out you-"

"Sammy, why are you yelling at my girlfriend?"

My body became rigid and tense as I heard that voice. I felt his hand snake its way around my waist to firmly pull me next to him. Frantic, I searched for Hotaru and found her still outside on the phone. Was she calling Ruka or the cops? I wondered.

"R-Reo," She spilt out in astonishment. "This tramp is your girlfriend?"

His lilac eyes steeled as she called me a tramp. He leaned forward with a twisted smirk on his face. Taking it the wrong way, Sammy leaned forward as well, lips curling into a seductive smile.

"Shut the fuck up, Whore," He snarled.

Shocked, she pulled back close to tears. I was assuming they had some sort of history for her to be reacting this way.

Without looking back, Reo started to drag me towards the lift which I hadn't seen before.

Panicking, I attempted to push him away, but he wouldn't budge. "Reo, release me. Now."

He chuckled and caressed my cheek which I violently ripped away from his touch.

"That's no way to thank someone who just helped you out, is it?"

I started to try to land a blow on him but he caught my wrist and clutched it tightly. A hiss escaped my pursed lips as I felt my skin burn from trying to wrench my hand from his.

"Reo, leave me alone!" I whispered harshly.

Desperate, I tried to turn to see Hotaru. I only caught a glimpse of her turning to see me and then her dropping her phone. Her once stoic orbs turned slightly wide with panic and her mouth formed an 'o'. Hurriedly, she picked up her cell and started to charge towards us with a pissed look darkening her features.

Reo saw this and clucked his tongue. "This won't do. We'll have to lose your little body-guard," He muttered.

Immediately thinking worst-case-scenario, I shoved him hard. "Do not touch her, Reo. I swear to God if she is hurt because of you, you'll have hell to pay."

His eyes danced in humor as he watched my futile attempts to escape. We had reached the lift and were entering the black, encased room. Hotaru was now running in her heels towards us, yelling out for someone to stop us. I struggled as the doors closed just as she neared them.

"You need to work on your glares, Mikan. They're pretty pitiful," He taunted.

I took the bait and nailed him in the balls. He bent down and let out a low moan. To my surprise, he caught himself rather quickly and went to punch me across the face. I dodged and elbowed him in the stomach and ducked behind him. Once properly set up, I kicked his ass and watched as he slammed his face into the wall. His pathetic body crumpled to the ground and a small amount of blood poured from his left temple.

Not risking going near him, I abided for him to stand. It took a few moments, but Reo finally stood while smudging the small trail of blood slipping down his face.

"Bastard," He muttered.

I laughed. "You should've known."

Reo took a mad-dash towards me and nailed me in the stomach. I tried to dodge but to my disbelief, he caught me. I slammed against the wall and quickly dismissed the dose of pain I had been dealt. He was raising his hand to capture my neck but I slipped under him and once he turned, I slammed my head against his. Pain shot through my head, but not a great deal. On the other hand, Reo had fallen unconscious, slumping to the floor.

I turned to see us on floor 22 and quickly clicked the number '24'. As the doors slide open to reveal a long, polished hall, I glanced to examine what floor Reo wanted to bring me to. Level '31' was glowing.

With one last glance towards his moaning figure, I trotted out of the lift and down the hall, calling out the room numbers as I passed. Finally, I reached room number 16 and gingerly opened the blue door.

Inside was a set of drums, a guitar, a bass, a mic and a grand piano that seemed to call to me. Quickly, I sent a text to Hotaru telling her I managed to escape while waltzing to the piano.

I lifted the lid covering the gleaming keys and softly ran my fingers over each. As my fingers touched the cool plastic, my pain edged away. I could no longer feel my head pounding or my stomach twisting in pain. I plopped on to the bench and started to play a simple tune. Eventually, it turned into a more intricate piece and I found a song materializing within my mind.

My Immortal By: Evanesence

_I'm so tired of being here,_  
_Suppressed by all of my childish fears.  
_ _And if you have to leave,_  
_I wish that you'd just leave.  
__'Cause your presence still lingers here._

_And it won't leave me alone._  
_These wounds won't seem to heal._  
_This pain is just too real._  
_There's just so much that time cannot erase._

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears._  
_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears._  
_And I held your hand through all of these years._  
_But you still have,_ _All of me._

_You used to captivate me,_  
_By your resonating light._  
_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind._

_Your face it haunts me,_  
_My once pleasant dreams._  
_Your voice it chased away,_  
_The sanity in me._

_These wounds won't seem to heal._  
_This pain is just too real.  
_ _There's just too much that time cannot erase._

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears._  
_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears._  
_And I held your hand through all of these years.  
_ _But you still have,_ _All of me._

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone._  
_But though you're still with me,_ _I've been alone all along._

I was so into the song, I didn't realize the drums and bass join into my little solo. If I had, I would've also noticed Tusbasa, Koko, Ruka, Youichi, Hotaru and Natsume come in and watch me sing and play until that point. If I had noticed, than I would've stopped playing. But I hadn't so I continued.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,  
__When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears,  
_ _And I held your hand through all of these years._  
_But you still have,_ _All of me._ _Me._ _Me._

My stupor abruptly ended when I saw small, pale hands played the last few low notes. I snapped my head up to find Youichi leaning against the piano, gazing down at me. A small smile formed on my lips as I read his facial features: Realization and recognition.

"Mikan...?" He whispered hesitantly. "Why were you playing the piano?"

"It...called to me," I whispered while trying to get a better view of his eyes. For a moment, I looked past his silver mane and saw the band and Hotaru watching us with curious gazes.

Looking back into his mesmerizing orbs, I saw he was perplexed and somewhat pained. The mixture made me feel sick and the fact that I was causing those doleful emotions made my stomach clench tighter in a sort of pain.

Unconsciously, I muttered, "You..."

His once hectic eyes turned sharply to me as his keen ears picked up on my words. Those gorgeous orbs softened. Youichi attempted to hide his shock by bending his head, creating a barrier over his 'windows to his souls's.

Eventually, You lifted his head and met my eyes. His face was once again a mask, giving the impression that he was bored and nonchalant about the topic. But I could see through it. Inside, Youichi was dying to know and that's when I knew that he remembered. All this time, Youichi had not forgotten me. Now, he was secretly questioning me if I was Mikan,_ his_ Mikan.

"Just close your eyes, the sun is going down," He sung hoarsely and for only our ears.

My eyes widened as he sung my lullaby that I had sung for him in his more traumatic moments.

"You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now."

I whispered the last part to just the two of us. "Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound."

His aqua eyes widened ever so slightly in happiness and joy and a rare smile - albeit, miniscule - graced his lips. We were finally united once again. Not wanting to cause more of a scene, I patted his head and whispered, "We'll talk after, okay You?"

He nodded as we both stood and looked at the group. They were all staring, oblivious to our touching moment.

Knowing he hated the attention, I directed it to me and Hotaru without thinking.

"Hotaru!" I whined while running to her for a hug. "I was so scared!"

To my disbelief, she allowed me to attack her in a hug. She even patted my back whispering, "I was too, Mikan."

I pulled back and smiled at her, deciding now was the time to tell her. "By the way, I'll be moving out. Okay! Let's get to making a music video." I chirped while running from Hotaru to Tsubasa.

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why is that, Mikan?"

I chuckled nervously. "Where's the director? We should really get moving," I muttered.

But no one offered me a hand and instead they watched in amusement and pity as Hotaru took out her Baka Gun and aimed it at me. Tsubasa quickly hid behind Ruka and I was left for dead.

"I don't like to be ignored, Mikan. I'll ask one last time: What is your reasoning?"

I put my hands up as if to ward her off while backing up. "Now, Hotaru, let's be rational here. We don't want to create another scene, do we? I know you hate the attention-" I was interrupted when she shot.

**Baka! Baka! Baka!**

Swiftly, I dodged the hard balls and made a run for it. She easily kept pace with me, not caring that she was destroying the set.

**Baka! Baka! Baka!**

All the while, I was crying, begging her to let me be. After a while, Natsume stepped into the mix.

"Either put that thing away or leave, Imai," He hissed coldly.

She merely spared him a glance before putting her gun away and glaring at him. "Shut up, Hyuuga."

I perked up from my hiding spot behind the piano and asked, "You two have met?"

They didn't take their eyes off of one another but nodded.

"Sadly," Hotaru said.

"For me," Natsume added under his breath.

I bounced over to Ruka, ignoring the two. "I heard the news! Congratulations! I am so happy for you two! No, I'm overjoyed! I've been waiting for this to-"

**Baka! Baka! Baka!**

I sunk to the ground as I was hit with Hotaru's weapon.

Three huge lumps were already forming on the back of my head.

"Mou, Hotaru! You big meanie. What was that for?"

Her icy glare turned to me and I couldn't help but flinch from my spot on the ground. "You won't explain yourself and you're being a baka. Again."

I bent my head in shame and whimpered, "But...I...Sorry."

She hit me again,

**Baka!**

before walking to Ruka's side.

"There's no explanation in that."

I stood and pleaded with her with my eyes for her to drop it. Of course she didn't seem affected at all. After all, she was Hotaru Imai and she had to know everything.

Sighing, I ignored her and greeted my new dance crew who had just entered. "Hey guys! I'm Mikan, the new lead dancer."

They all walked over to me and we started to chat. The whole time, I was worriedly glancing at Hotaru as she glared daggers at me. Behind her façade I could see she was honestly hurt that I was keeping something from her. But this was how it had to be, unless I wanted to put her in danger.

Steeling myself, I halted my worried glances. I would smile even though I was crying on the inside; I'd pretend that everything's okay because that's what I do best. If I was lucky, she'd abandon me altogether.

Because I really hated to live alone, but it'd be better than being broken again and again. And with Hotaru getting caught in my life, I was bound to have her brutally ripped from my already mauled heart.

* * *

**Thanks for reading everyone! I'm really sorry it took me a while to update.**

**Again, I'm sorry. And thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry this is so short. My chapters vary a lot when it comes to length. It all depends on how much I desire to reveal to you all :)**

* * *

**Chapter: 5**

My auburn hair cascaded down my back which was covered with a sheen of sweat. As I skipped out of the recording studio - mostly attempting to avoid Hotaru - I received 'goodbye's and 'we just _have_ to get together's. Each were replied with a shining smile or a gesture to prove my agreement.

My new dance team was amazing. There was Ume who had cotton pink hair that was pulled into a fishtail reaching her mid-chest. A pair of glowing, caring, gold eyes peered through her bangs to meet your own with a loving gaze. Ume was quiet, kind, caring, generous, and selfless with a pinch of adorable sprinkled all over her body. She was 22 - a year older than me - which caught me by surprise since she seemed so youthful.

Kotori, who had cropped navy hair that reached her shoulders, was almost the exact opposite of Ume. Her magenta orbs always seemed to shine with confidence which - in a way - rubbed off on those surrounding her perky self. Kotori was loud - in a somewhat obnoxious manner - energetic, intelligent, confident, and hilarious. Combine all the combinations together and you had someone who was constantly in the spot light. I could tell she had a certain distaste for me since she now had to share the light which was not her forte.

Next was Yurie. Her long luscious locks - which she wore down like me - had taken on a strawberry blonde hue. Matched with her emerald, almond-shaped eyes, she was stunning. Her personable persona only added to her charm. Maybe it was her disarming smile or her bubbly and contagious laugh that made her so lovable, but the truth was most likely more. Yurie was polite yet comfortable, energetic yet calm, selfless, and graceful. She seemed as though in high school she was the 'it' girl that made every one who was lucky enough to be spared a glance overwhelmed with joy and contentedness.

After the incognito supermodel was Kaname. Out of all the girls I'd met, Kaname was the only one that I felt a sense of familiarity with. At first I was wary, thinking my uneasiness was some form of a warning. But as soon as I met her, I knew that she was nothing to hold trepidation over. Kaname was boisterous, strong, independent, caring, and helpful. Her hair was of a navy hue that fell to her butt but was tied at the end with a red bow. A pair of chestnut eyes - which sparked my worry - seemed to glisten with confidence and the intension of uplifting spirits.

For some unknown reason, Kaname reminded me of Ai, even though they seemed to be opposites in many ways. Ai was small, petite, flexible, and had golden orbs while Kaname had a rather tall frame with a sturdy figure and milk chocolate orbs and was rather opinionated. Plus Kaname was short-tempered and a beast when you get on her bad side. The only semblance is that of their face - shaped as a sharp oval - and their hair.

Ishi was another dancer who had a twin, Ito. They were identical in appearance as well as personalities. Both had pale pink pools and teal hair which was curled into soft curls that fell elegantly to the bottom of their chests. Ishi and Ito wore their hair in the same style - pony tails - with the same outfit but in varying colors. I had a feeling that this would be routine for them. As for the two's personalities, they were both humorous, kind, and outgoing.

As I trotted down the tiled floor and stepped into the awaiting lift, I thought more of the five said girls. They all seemed like amazing people that I would love to become closer to. Especially Kaname and Yurie since they seemed to catch my attention more than the said other.

"We're going to a café," A male voice interrupted my thoughts.

I turned to see a nonchalant Youichi leaning beside me and clicking the 'L' button. We stood in tense silence as I was wary to tell him the truth while he was wary to ask. It was rather humorous, the fact that we knew one another well enough to know practically what the other was thinking. At the moment, he was attempting to keep his lips sealed to cause me less discomfort. Meanwhile, I was struggling to open my mouth and finally reveal why I had vanished to achieve the same goal. But by doing so, he would be put in danger which made it all the more arduous to speak.

Eventually, the doors slid open revealing a bustling lobby. I paid no heed to the men and women dressed in suits, instead making a bee-line to the glass doors.

I glanced sideways at You. "I...road here with Hotaru..." My tone was one of discomfort and I hated how it made me seem almost like I felt uncomfortable around him.

The silverette sighed. "I have a car." I smiled softly, glad that Youichi was successful enough to be living independently. "Kind of."

My head snapped to him, eyeing him curiously. "What do you mean?" I questioned.

He merely shrugged. "You'll see."

I tailed Youichi to the parking lot and found what he meant by 'kind of'. My body tensed momentarily as I stood glaring at the machine.

"No way in Hell."

Youichi sent me a blank look, as though he didn't comprehend why I was so hesitant.

"Tsubasa had me -"

"I'm not Tsubasa," Youichi interrupted me while passing me a red helmet to wear. He smiled ever so slightly in a comforting manner. "I won't let you go so easily this time around."

Taking a deep breath, I strapped the helmet on my head and swung my leg over the motorcycle, firmly latching my hands around his waist. I buried my face within the crook of his neck, silently praying for God to keep me safe.

Surprisingly enough, the ride wasn't as bad. Youichi took care to go at a neutral pace which enabled me to not screech or barf all over him.

Eventually, we made it to a café that seemed cozy and warm compared to the crisp autumn air. We trudged inside and took a seat at the back. A waiter immediately made his way to us and asked for our orders. Youichi ordered some sort of drink and food for the both of us which I let slide knowing he knew what I liked.

"Mikan," He started while running his fingers through his silver mop in a nervous gesture. "Why did you leave me?" His eyes were full of hurt and it pained me to peer into those aqua orbs.

"Youichi," I trailed off as my mind fought with itself. One side wished to reveal every piece of my tormenting past but the other half - the more rational side - told me to remember the consequences of telling the truth. Plus there was one of_ them_ behind me, eavesdropping on our conversation to reassure their organization that I was still 'in role'.

"I need you to promise me to not tell anyone what I am about to tell you." I heard the person behind me shift, most likely reaching for their hidden gun. "And for you to be content with the information I hand over, for some secrets are better left unknown." The man stopped and continued sipping from his cup.

Youichi nodded, his face the epitome of seriousness. "I swear."

Taking a deep breath I began the reason I left. "You see, I was injured severely..."

_Hands tore me from my serene slumber. I woke with a start, ready to scream when my eyes laid themselves upon the masked men. Unfortunately, the one holding me captive clamped a hand over my mouth._

_As they bound my limbs tightly with rope, I attempted to scream for my parents aids. Trepidation poured from my eyes in the form of tears as I realized it was futile, all that came out of my duct-taped mouth was an almost inaudible squeal._

_My hands and ankles were already sore from wrestling against the restraints. As one of the four men lifted me - slapping me for good measure - I saw my life flash before my eyes._

_I saw Youichi and I playing, discussing what we thought to be important matters. I saw my parents bringing me to wonderful places and areas that brought us all so much joy. I saw my cronies smiling and calling my name for me to join them._

_We reached outside of my parents room and before they knocked the door down, my captive put a cold, sharp edge against my neck._

_The resounding boom woke my sleeping parents with a start. Two pairs of hazel eyes rested on me, abhorrence covered their once startled faces._

_"Bastard! Release my daughter!" Mom screeched. As she took one step closer to us, the blade cut into my raw skin._

_A surprisingly high squeal came from my mouth as pain pulsed throughout my tiny twelve year-old body._

_Horrified, Mother stopped in her tracks with Father calling out for them to stop._

_"Please, what do you want?" Dad pleaded._

_My captive let a cynical laugh escape his mask. "We either have Yuka, or her daughter. Your choice."_

_Immediately, Mommy stepped forward. "Take me."_

_While their attention was directed to my brave mother, I kicked the man holding me in the family jewels. He bowed over in temporary pain and I took the time to headbutt him in the face. The blade slipped from his now slack hand, falling to the floor and staining the bash carpet with my crimson blood._

_My parents jumped into action, making the others unconscious within moments. As they finished the duty, I felt myself relax. Everything would be okay._

_Two pairs of loving eyes set themselves on me. They ran towards me, Mom's shoulder-length auburn hair rushing behind her with her hazel orbs shining with tears of relief and Dad's shaggy blonde mane ruffling from the wind with similar eyes._

_I saw their gazes turn from one of love and relief to something akin to horror, trepidation, and fearful irate._

_At first, I didn't comprehend why. But as I felt many dull points penetrating my back and proceeding through my body to pop out through my stomach, I understood._

_One man - the one I had dealt with - was never unconscious. He had faked it and picked the opportune moment to break off one of my parent's bed's posts to stab me._

_My world blurred and the floor seemed to meet my face for a hug. Tears of agony poured from my pools while they searched for those two identical pairs to soothe the pain away._

_But they never came._

"I woke three months later in a basement somewhere in Russia. They said my heart had stopped but somehow - without the help of the doctors - it had began again. After healing myself, I went into a coma for several weeks. Eventually, I came out of it but was put back under because of the pain I was still in."

Youichi sat - coffee untouched - staring in awe as my tale unraveled.

I abided for him to regain his composure.

Eventually, he spoke, "Then what?"

I shrugged while sipping my cup and people watching. "We constantly moved, my mom died, I went to Alice Academy in Tokyo for my high-school career and then my father vanished. Now I'm in my senior year of college at DAFE."

My keen ears perked to hear the person sitting behind me get up and leave. A breath that had unknowingly been held released itself from within me as the door chimes sang.

I had passed.

My 'brother' narrowed his aqua orbs. "You're not telling me a lot."

I laughed dryly. "Of course I'm not. But remember the promise."

Silence retained itself as he mauled over what I had spouted.

"I have to leave. I'll talk to you soon though, Brother." My feet supported my weight as I walked to his side and squeezed him in a loving hug. "I've missed you so much."

With that, I turned and left the café, my hot coco cup left empty.

Halfway down the sidewalk, I realized that I had no transportation to bring me back home.

Sighing, I took out my cell phone and dialed his number.

It took three rings before his goofy voice chirped, "Hey! What's up?"

"Hey, Tsubasa. I wanted to ask for a favor or two," I trailed off, leaving my sentence open.

He chuckled, "Sure thing, but you'll have to eventually atone for them later." I let out a sound of agreement. "What's number one on your list?"

"Can you come pick me up?" I asked while searching for something familiar. Finding a street sign, I said, "I'm at the end of Pine Street and need to get home. Please?"

Tsubasa let out an exasperated sigh from the other end. "I guess I can." I laughed at him. "Be there in a sec, Mik."

Before he hung up I questioned, "Mik?"

I could practically see him scratching the back of his head while rushing out of his door. "Yeah, it just sort of came out. I don't have to call you that if you-"

"It's fine Tsubasa," I intercepted his apology. "See ya soon!"

After hitting the end button, I started towards the end of the street, thankful for such an amazing senior.

It took five minutes before I saw - more like heard - Tsubasa's navy bike round the corner and halt before me.

Casually, he tossed me a helmet and said, "Hop on."

I took it all in stride and attached myself to his back so that I wouldn't fall off and become road-kill.

"Where to?" He asked.

A nervous laugh escaped my chapped lips. "You're place?"

He casted me a side-long glance, a rather wary glint passing through his azure pools. I nodded to reassure him that it was okay before we took off, speeding down the street.

To my surprise, I didn't mind him surpassing the speed-limit by 20 mphs; instead I found myself slacking my death-grip around his waist to give myself a flying feeling when my eyes were closed.

My little dream ended shortly considering Tsubasa lived near our former location.

We dismounted the vehicle - if you can call it that - and I awkwardly stood, wringing my wrists while down-casting my eyes.

"My other favor..." I took a deep breath and met his curious gaze. "Is a bit of a leap..."

He flashed me an encouraging grin with a slight nod to push me forward.

"Could I...stay at your place for a bit?" Once seeing his grin drop and his eyes suddenly become guarded, I started to ramble, "You see, Hotaru and I had a fight and I'm not quiet ready to go back considering the hell she will put me through and I know I will have to apologize since she is never wrong but I feel as though I did nothing wrong! All I did was not tell her something but everyone deserves their secrets. Besides I'm only not telling her for her own good. If she were ever to be injured because of something that slipped through my lips, I'd commit suicide or become a murder because of my sanity slipping! I know it's a lot to ask of you but...I really need to dislodge myself from her."

Tsubasa's face stayed stern, eyes observing my every nervous move: shifting of my weight, biting of my bottom lip, not locking eyes, wringing my wrists, rambling.

The air became palpable as I abided for his answer, eyes looking at the black pavement in fear of finding the truth in his eyes: That he never liked me or that he wished for me to be gone.

"On one condition."

My head snapped up to my senior, eyes wide in disbelief and hope. "Anything!" I thought better of it and was about to say 'well almost anything' when he intercepted my added words.

"You must answer whatever questions I have."

This is stupid, Mikan! You can go ask Ruka or Koko, hell even Natsume for a place to stay for a while. They'd surely give you their home without hesitation...well Natsume would hesitate but he wouldn't ask questions, I thought.

But for some abnormal reason, I found my lips responding before my brain could say otherwise.

"Deal."

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**Sorry it took me so long to update! ****Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed and if you have any predictions or thoughts you'd like to share, please review! ;D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry! Hope you like the chapter I provide though ;)**

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**Chapter 6:**

The room gave off a comforting feel, making me feel almost at home. My new-found bed - the custard yellow sofa with back and forest green stripes fabricating a plaid design - morphed to my delight as I knocked my feet out from beneath me and plopped onto the somewhat eye-soar of a couch.

Currently, bash sheets were draped over the horrid thing with a yellow comforter and pillow wresting by the couches arm-rest for my later convenience.

My new room-mate sat across from me on a brown sofa that was fuzzy and looked more like an article of furniture that a wealthy band-member would own.

Currently, we were eating our dinner which consisted of ramen noodles in a deep soup bowl. It was delicious but our meal was too silent. The only sound resonating within the large, ornate room was the clanging of our utensils as we slurped the noodles.

After forking half of my food in my mouth in silence, I asked, "Why do you have this couch when you have so much money?"

My azure-eyed friend peeked through his bangs to see which couch I was referring to. As he sucked a noddle into his pursed lips, creating a slurping sound all the while, he replied, "Let's play a game."

Rather shocked by his answer, I set my bowl on the glazed stand to my right which was sporting many used mugs. I gave him my consent to continue with a slight nod.

"It's called 'An Eye For An Eye'. What we do is I reveal a secret and in return, you tell me one of your own."

Sighing, I folded my legs beneath me. I knew he would eventually broach the topic of my past but I secretly prayed that it would be later rather than sooner.

"Okay. But we get two passes," I said, attempting to exempt myself from at least two of my horrid secrets.

His navy mop swayed to and fro as he shook his head. "Only one pass per person; choose wisely."

The joker's mischievous grin made an appearance as I cursed under my breath. What the hell had I gotten myself in to?

"Fine, but you have to go first."

He nodded and looked at me expectantly. After a minute passing by with both of us abiding for the other, Tsubasa said, "So, what's your question?"

A small blush tainted my cheeks as I realized I hadn't made my question very lucid. "Why you have this old-timer when you're so frickin rich."

He chuckled as a sad glimmer entered his narrowed wells. "It was my Dad's sofa. He'd come home every day and sit right where you are for an hour while mumbling about how sucky his life was. Then Mom would come home and start swatting him with our newspaper for being a downer while the children were around.

"He'd start sweeping and sucking up to her, saying he'd make dinner and let her take the first shower that day." He laughed as he reminisced his past. "After dinner - which Mom would make since Dad sucked at cooking - we'd all sit on that couch while laughing at Dad when he did something stupid. Sometimes, Mom and Dad would turn on the TV and start dancing to the music channel.

"When that would happen, my sister and I'd groan and secretly enjoy watching them gaze lovingly at one another. Then we'd break them up when they started getting too mooshy."

My head tilted to the side as I wondered why he seemed so doleful of these lovely times. If I had such beautiful memories, I would cherish them constantly with a smile adorning my features, only leaving once the memories were forgotten for the moment.

"I keep the couch because they're all dead."

My once slouched and relaxed posture rocketed to being pole-straight upon hearing his confession. Tsuabsa's small, happy family had died. He too had gone through the pain of losing his dear ones. He too knew the pain of waking up and remembering that no one was there to lovingly nag him about his clothes or playfully wrestle him to the ground when his arguing got to be enough.

I thought that this revelation was all he would say, but to my chagrin he continued, eyes sorrowful and shoulders slumped.

"It was a car crash. I woke up with a high fever and Mom and Dad insisted that I stayed home from school. They left, all smiles and waves. I should've told them how much I loved and cared for them; but instead, I watched in bitter distaste as my parents left, leaving me in our house alone for the whole boring day.

"I remember my sister came back in and crushed me in a hug. She had told me to not be so gloomy and to get better that way we could play when she returned. I agreed and stood on our porch, waving as they drove off. I'm glad my sister had come back and told me what she had. If she hadn't, my last memories of my family would be bitter. I would've felt horrible for bidding them farewell in such a manner."

The silence was retained as he mauled over his amen from God. His sister had saved him from a life full of pain and remorse, whether she meant to or not.

Quietly, I asked, "What was her name?"

A sad smile touched his lips before he said, "Tani. She had dark brown hair that had been cropped to her shoulders at an angle but her eyes, they were exactly like my own. Although hers were much larger and seemed to dance with happiness every hour of the day. I still remember her laugh and how she had one adorable dimple implanted on her right cheek..."

As he drifted off once again, I regretted ever asking the question. It obviously brought forth happy memories, but they would all end with her dead, buring in the flames of their once healthy car.

"Later, the cops came to my door saying they had rear-ended a truck that suddenly stopped on the high-way. The car behind them crashed into their left tail making the car spin from it's once immobile spot and into the trees. Oil from the car leaked and it exploded, sending everyone within to their hellish deaths."

My head swam with un-said words. 'I'm so sorry for your loss' 'It's okay. Life's a bitch, you just have to take it's pawns and allow them to bring you comfort'. But nothing left my ajar lips because consolation did nothing to heal the heart.

Instead, I allowed him to drown in his sorrow, awaiting for when he would come up for air.

"My mom is dead and my dad is currently missing," I said after a five minute pause.

His once bowed head shot straight up as soon as my sentence was finished. His eyes - the windows to his souls - twinkled in surprise and depression.

Reluctantly, I began my tale; hoping to relieve him of some of his pain temporarily.

"We were constantly moving." Because we were constantly being chased. "I was home schooled by my parents." Since they would do anything - including risking thousands of childrens lives - just to get to us. "We loved one another very much. Never consecutively fighting or quarreling, only enjoying the time we had with each other." Because we never knew when it would be our last.

"When I was about 6, we were ambushed in an ally. A gang of men with guns surrounded us and before I knew what was happening, my parents had hid me behind them and gunshots resonated throughout the town. When I opened my eyes, pools of blood swam under my feet. All of the men were dead. My dad collapsed to the ground with bullet wounds decorating his entire being. Mom had picked him up and together, we ran to the hospital. Upon arrival, Mom collapsed as well and doctors whisked them away." The memories were so vivid, lucid. Painful.

"It took 3 days before Dad awoke and when he did, he said we had to leave instantly. I had wanted to wait for Mom, saying she would get better soon. She had promised to never leave our sides. Dad said she would catch up with us later but we needed to leave. It was a lie. Mom was dead." But not because of the gun wounds.

I was about to continue further when my phone rang.

Scurrying over to my bag, I answered with a, "Hello?"

"Where the fuck are you," came the deadly calm reply.

Tsubasa was sending me the look that said 'Who is that? Whoever it is tell them to get a life 'cuz we're busy'.

I schooled my voice to be neutral. "Imai you-"

"I _do not_ like to repeat myself, Baka. Now answer the damn question." Her voice was ice cold, practically sending shards through the phone to scratch me.

"Look, just don't ever-"

"They came, Mikan. Now tell me what the hell is happening. Now."

My eyes widened in anger and shock as the information sunk in. They had gone to Imai's apartment. An alarm instantly went off in my head: They were coming. They were coming. Danger. Tsubasa's nearby. Danger. No one dies safe for you. Danger.

"Get off my back for once you dependent moron."

With that, I hung up my phone and gathered my belongings. It seemed as though my stay would be shorter than planned.

"Thanks a lot for the dinner, Tsubasa. I have to go now though, " I said in a slapdash manner.

As my foot crossed the threshold to his suburban mansion, Tsuabsa shouted, "What about needing a place to stay?"

My phone was already locked firmly in my sweating palms as I yelled back, "Thanks but I can't stay anymore. Something came up. Thanks so much Tsubasa for offering me your abode!"

To avoid further dilemmas, I sprinted across his lawn dialing the one number I never thought I'd call. I could hear his yells for me to wait and his loud and careless footsteps chasing after me. Soon, they became distant and further more as I turned the corner, entering the road.

After five rings, I hung up and called again. This time, I hung up after two and the next attempt, I hung up after the voicemail. On my fourth attempt, he picked up, voice gruff and somewhat irked.

"What?"

"It's Mikan," I said, knowing this information would be enough to brighten his mood.

He chuckled with something akin to amazement. "I never thought I'd actually hear from you."

"Yeah, I never thought I'd call but life loves to rub me the wrong way. Pick me up at 52 Sycamore Street in five minutes."

After a prolonged pause, he said, "And what will I receive in return?"

Greedy bastard.

"I'll do what you've been begging me to do for years."

I clicked the end button and continued my dash to the said address. Upon arrival I found a black, sleek car sitting idle before the cabin that was 52 Sycamore Street. The windows were tinted, leaving everything within to the imagination.

The door opened as I neared, a pale hand retreating from its handle to avoid the blazing sun. I hopped in and before I even shut the door, the driver was speeding down the street, trying to lose the boy who had been chasing after me at a slower pace.

Never once did I look back. I learned the hard way that it only made departures harder and more agonizing.

A pale hand clasped my shoulder, gaining my attention.

"Glad you chose the plausible choice, Mikan."

I soaked up the features of the lanky man sitting with crossed legs beside me. His raven hair stayed still even as we drove over bumps and holes in the pavement. He removed his white mask that covered his deep indigo slits that were momentarily glittering with excitement. Several piercings lined his ears, one even on his brow and nose. This man wore black-purple lipstick and black eyeliner in hopes of looking more gloomy - as if his demeanor didn't send people screaming.

"Still sulking in the black trench-coats I see, Persona."

He laughed without humor, only trying to seem like he was still intact with his long forgotten emotions.

"Indeed. May I ask who we are keeping you from?"

Roughly shaking off his hand from my shoulder, I said, "The singer called Reo Mouri." I handed over several pictures of the said man. Some were candids with him wearing sunglasses and caps while others were photos with his penetrating gaze staring straight at you.

"You always meet the most interesting people," Persona mumbled.

Trees blurred together as we sped towards an unknown destination. As he scanned over the pictures his free pale, bony hand scowered the floor for his laptop. Once brushing past the case, he lifted it onto his lap where he began his search on Reo.

The palpable air became sliced with his pestering key-board's clicks from typing. My tolerance on the sound was low by the end of the ride.

Glad to escape the enclosed area, I jumped outside and looked around.

We were in the middle of no where, the only building decorating the deserted clearing being a warehouse with broken windows. Trees surrounded the vicinity, hiding the world from us and vice versa.

I followed the driver - a bulk man in a muscle T - into the unstable building, Persona entailing behind me while still researching his new subject.

Like a mouse, I was lead through the labyrinth until we reached a room that opened to reveal a hundred buff men sitting atop boxes or in the run down seats of construction vehicles. They all snickered and eyed me as though I were candy as we passed.

There was not a single woman within the gang.

"No one touches the girl," Persona warned, eyes still glued to the screen. "Unless you want to die."

Immediately, the 'men' retreated, scowling at his lanky form.

He lifted his eyes, looking around the room to find many unpleasant men glaring at him. "Your death will not be by me."

I kept my face stoic and void of emotions as they turned to check me out - to see if I was a worthy opponent. By the looks on their faces, I was just a twig that was meant to be snapped.

"Foolish babooms," He mumbled under his breath.

A corner of my mouth lifted up slightly before I forced it down.

"Anyone want to face me?" I called, challenging the men. They'll see who's the omega here.

They argued over who gets to until one of them silenced everyone. He was tall, buff and bald with snake-like eyes scanning over my petite form.

"I got this," He declared.

No one objected as he moved towards me. Instead, they fabricated a circle around us, quietly snickering about how dead I was. I assumed that this man was the former omega and that he had to be remotely tough for him to gain the title.

Persona - still typing on his damned computer - said, "Don't kill him. Just maul him slightly. I don't want any members dead. Got it, Mikan?"

I nodded my head, face hard as I stared at my newfound opponent. He took a fighting stance which was sloppy and careless. This would be fast.

With a battle cry, he ran at me, fist raised for a punch.

My body moved instinctively away from the progressing limb in a flash, taking refuge behind the piece of meat.

My hand - as if on it's own will - outstretched and locked itself around his beefy neck. With a swift movement, I brought his body above mine and slammed it behind, sending him into the crowd.

Somehow, I still felt the feeling. Within every battle, there was another taking place. One within me.

As he ran at me, face bloodied, I turned and slammed my fist mercilessly into his stomach, surprised I had managed not to rip his flesh straight through. A glop of blood sprang from his mouth, flying over my shoulder. His eyes were wide in terror and pain. I dropped my hand and stared emotionlessly at this man.

I never wanted to hurt people; but it was programmed within me to maul without remorse. Why did I have to hurt? Why does everyone present me with challenges that must be dealt with? All I ever wanted was a normal life, one where emotions were present and happiness lingered wherever I went. But in my wake laid men who had fallen by my sullied hands.

Feelings were supposed to have long since become numb, a 'bonus' to my features. But when I saw the blood or wounds of my opponents, I felt remorse, depression, irate. They made me fight and then they'd torture me by allowing my emotions to seep through. They were supposed to be broken, eternally forgotten. And yet I cried, I screamed, I laughed, I smiled.

All I ever wanted was to be a normal girl. I've tried countless times to do so: enrolling in DAFE, befriending average people, fleeing from my past. But I was programmed differently. Humans felt emotions. Humans lived in happiness with occasional spurts of death, depression, irate, and danger.

I was no longer human.

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**READ THE FOLLOWING!**

**Mikan is NOT an alien or anything of the sort. Explanations will come with time ;)**

**Thanks for reading and sorry for the short chapter. For some reason, God loves to make me stronger by sending me gigantic obstacles to overcome. Literally, everything bad that could happen has been happening to me.**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is dedicated in loving memory of those who lost their lives in Newton, Conneticut. May you all rest in peace.**

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**Chapter 7:**

Groans filled the warehouse as I trotted soundlessly down the corridor. Behind me was a pile of men who had fallen by my hands, all being the cause of the irking sound resonating through the otherwise silent warehouse. The bastards were keeping me from hearing correctly. I should've knocked them unconscious instead of letting my emotions leak through.

As I neared a corner, turning to the open area where I had first entered, I picked up the slight patter of agile feet rushing towards my coordinates. Thinking quickly, I flattened myself against the wall, holding my breath for a minute before the man passed by in a flash. Not hearing other footsteps ensuing, I followed the man with inaudible steps, avoiding any areas of cracks or tiny pebbles hidden from the human eye.

He led me to their security headquarters, a room with wires running to a wall showing multiple screens, all conveying the same message: Error. I knew that the warehouse had cameras hidden in every nook and cranny so I took the time to short-circuit them before kicking Persona's men's asses.

Twenty men and women buzzed around frantically trying to solve the equations. All were too spastic to realize that I was analyzing their every movement. I knew Persona only hired the best of the best so these nerds - even though seemingly careless - had to be trained by some of the best in order to work for him. After all, he wouldn't want his information leaking out of his tight knitted group.

I bit the cap off of my smoke bomb which I had stolen from sealed crates in a room I searched through. As I threw the round object within the cramped quarters causing gasps and hollers of warning to resonate through the room.

Pulling my gas mask over my face, I ran into the confined space, searching for the man I had seen earlier. He clearly knew where the major coordinates were, based on the confident aura he carried while easily sprinting through the labyrinth.

I saw his black hair scamper about the room and even caught a glimpse of his green orbs as he glanced frantically around, making fruitless attempts to clear his vision.

Within the span of five seconds, I had the man within my grasp - arm threatening to strangle him if he dared to peep a sound and knife pressed to his back, conveying the same warning.

He complied to my hidden message and made no attempt to call out, easily walking with me outside of the room. His emerald orbs began to drift shut as the gases affect - making people drowsy and sending them into a nightmare which I could control - began taking place..

Again, my emotions seemed to absorb my being in an instance and instead of slapping him awake like I should have to gain the knowledge of a secured area for the privacy we needed, I allowed him to fall asleep, leaving the arduous task to myself.

As I searched for a private room, I began to form this mans dream. I imagined a room with torturous tools set on a metallic table standing beside the dissecting table which he laid upon. Grey walls encased the area, showing nothing from the outside. By the way his body grew restless on the dreams table, I knew I had little time before I had to pay my full attention to him.

I took captive of one of the rusted knobs of a door and slammed my shoulder against it as I turned the round metal. My body was met with solidness. Perfect, the door was sealed.

Using my bobby pin, I picked the lock within seconds and flung the man and myself within the room. Before the darkness consumed me, I sealed the door yet again and let a sigh of relief out, knowing that I had made it.

When my eyes re-opened, I was standing in the room I had fabricated. The man I had captured was beginning to awake, groaning while unconsciously pulling at the metallic restraints. I glanced towards the table to my right which held many intimidating tools that could be used for torture.

Finally, his emerald slights opened. I watched as he flinched from the brightness of the overhead light but stuffed my pity back down my throat and clenched my fists to resist the urge to help the man.

"Why?"

He looked at me, shocked to find someone other than him in the room. Once his eyes landed upon my petite form, his body started attempting to free himself. No matter how hard I tried, the hurt I was feeling from his reaction to my face could not be held under.

"Why," I continued, "Must I do these horrid tasks?"

The man abruptly stopped and watched me skeptically as I eyed the tools while glazing my hands over the smooth surfaces.

"I used to be normal. When Father would threaten to kill a fly, I'd cry and tell him I'd get him out of the house. Basically, I couldn't even harm a fly, let alone people." I picked up an intricate tool with a drill and multiple buttons, experimenting on the different variations I could turn the machine into.

His orbs didn't seem to notice I was playing with an intimidating object. Instead, they narrowed as he analyzed my words.

"Now look at me. Here I am, playing with tools meant to kill living things - my own species." My wells began to fill with tears as I thought of me harming this man. "But, it is what I have been programmed to do. So I shall do so."

I discarded the drill-like object and opted for a butchers knife, making my way to his side.

Now, he began to panic, pulling against the restraints and yelling for me to not do anything I desired not to.

"Why should you kill me if you don't want to? It's not like you're a robot who can't go against orders!" He cried in desperation.

The tip of the knife touched his bare stomach as I chuckled darkly. "But I am. Once orders have been said, I cannot disobey. I've mauled humans with my bare hands while screaming for someone to kill me - put an end to my torture. Yet, no one could beat me. I've always hated blood, and to have it dripping from my hands and laying by my feet shakes me to the core. Still, I could not stop. Even as tears streamed down my cheeks and my screams echoed throughout cities, my body did not obey my commands."

His eyes widened as I applied pressure on the tip, inserting the knife in his body by an inch.

I looked up at his face, trepidation coursing through his body. He began to shake as he saw me face, what a sight it must have been. With the cynical grin cracking my face and the tears gushing from my eyes - the only feature of my body that I always had control of.

"It's my body, yet I have no say in its doings."

The knife delved deeper within him, resulting in an agonized scream from the poor man.

"Please, I do not want to harm you. Tell me where Persona is and we can both be set free."

He shook his head 'no' while clenching his jaw.

My head fell limp as words involuntarily leaked from my mouth.

"Then you shall pay the consequences."

* * *

After finally getting the information I seeked, I destroyed the dream we were consumed by.

I awoke on the cement ground of Persona's warehouse and started to gather my bearings. The side effects of the illusion was that you felt nauseous and dizzy so I sat idle for a moment, hating how I was wasting precious time.

"What the hell..." Mumbled the dysfunctional man beside me. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to rid the black dots I presumed.

Upon catching sight of me, he cowered away. Then, as if realizing he bared no wounds, stared up at me in bewilderment.

"How...What...?" He said, hiss thoughts reeling to make sense.

Opting to explain while abiding for the affects to fade, I explained, "The smoke bomb I released was no ordinary bomb. The particles within the smoke were modified to make a person drowsy. Since I knew we were soon to be lapsing into sleep, I could control the dream. Did you know that when you have dreams that you can control, it's actually because some part of your mind knows that you're dreaming? That's what happened with us."

After a couple of moments, he shakily said, "So it was...some crazy form of an illusion?"

I nodded my head, and steeled myself for the journey I was about to take.

My feet stood and after knocking the panicked man out, I sprinted down the halls to where he said was the room concealing Persona.

The room came into sight and my body began to quiver with excitement. Finally, I wouldn't have to harm another being. This would all be over.

The door flew into the room as I kicked it, hitting two men who were guarding the lanky man.

"It's rather amazing," He said, cold, black eyes trained on the screen before him.

Displayed on the monitor was a video of me knocking man after man out and strategically planning my next move. On the right was an image of a body with red, orange, yellow, and green blobs decorating its interior.

"See here," He said while pointing to where the brain was. "See how it's decorated with red and orange spots all of the duration of the experiment?"

I nodded my head, seeing that it was almost completely red on the right half when I was strategizing and almost completely red on the other if I was fighting.

"The colors show the amount of activity within your brain. Red being the most, orange the second, yellow meaning slightly thinking and green meaning relaxed. When fighting, you use both sides of your brain, but mostly the side that recognizes threats and incoming attacks. That's why when you're fighting, the left side of your brain is more red than the right. But, when you aren't focused on dodging and delivering incoming attacks, the right side of your brain - the side that helps people think and solve - is more red than the left."

Again, I nodded, following his prattling of this 'miracle'.

"The amazing thing is that the most a normal human can display is orange, and that's from my trained employees. An average person would most likely show slight yellow with splatters of green." His eyes glowed as he chuckled softly in awe. "You, Mikan, have obtained the un-obtainable: Full access of the brain."

Persona stood and walked closer to the screen, observing the changes of color when I did a certain task.

"Also, normal people only use about 70 or 80 percent of the brain. Same for our muscles; we only use 80 percent - at the most - of our true powers. But you are using all of your brain, something thought to be impossible."

I walked to the man's side and pointed to my orange and red body. "So does this mean that I was using 100% of my muscles potential as well?"

He chuckled and for once it came out filled with emotion. "Yes. That explains why you were able to overcome my men so easily and send even the heaviest of them all flying through bricks."

Persona went back to his computer and rapidly typed something. "I'm going to pull up one of my men and an average person's activity within their bodies to compare it to yours. The data was collected while they were also in battle or strategizing."

The two images - one of me kicking a man's face and the other of my activity during that moment - became smaller, making room for the two other images. One was of a man doing the same attack as me and to someone of akin talent. His body was mostly yellow with his legs - being the limbs doing the action - displaying an orange hue.

The other was of another man, this one copying the image of my own and the other man. Again, his opponent seemed to be of similar talent. This time, the body beside the image was green with his legs being yellow.

I didn't want to see this. I didn't want to be reminded of how I had become dehumanized.

"Persona, may I leave now," I asked tightly.

He nodded numbly, still staring in awe at my form compared to the others.

This was my payment. For the safety and security of Persona, I needed to be his guinea pig. The bastard knew of my past since he was _once_ my father's trusted companion. He always desperately wanted to see how abnormal I had become but Father never wanted that - for his child to be experimented upon.

So Persona never got the chance. When he was banned from being near us he had fabricated his organization: D.A. The man was a genius, capable of tracking down trained assassins and annihilating anyone without so much as a blink of the eye. Plus he knew how to keep people away and how to gain information on their weaknesses.

That's why I sacrificed my dignity. To guarantee everyone's - my friends and myself included - safety.

My phone rang, the name blinking **Tsubasa**. I silently declined the call and began to ready myself for the meeting I was supposed to have with the band.

* * *

The large door opened to reveal the same butler as before.

"Hello, Hugo."

He replied, "Good evening Miss Sakura."

I laughed lightly while lifting my hand to my mouth. No one ever called me with such formality.

"Please," I say, "Mikan is fine."

He nodded and lead me to the elevator saying, "The fifth floor is your destination. They are awaiting for your arrival in his room."

As the doors slid closed, I smiled and waved to him farewell. The gesture was returned.

My hazel orbs drifted to view the lovely garden in which I had admired the first time I had arrived here. It was breath-taking. I needed to ask Natsume who did such a magnificent job on it so that I could possibly learn from them.

The doors opened revealing the dark hall with black carpet and red walls. Taking my time, I waltzed down his hall, peeking into the doors that were slightly open. My first visit here, Tsubasa had said that Natsume's floor was better than the guest floor; but all that I was seeing was litter covering every surface.

I opened the doors leading to the lads room to find the group sucking down pizza while chatting with a care-free manner.

"Hey, Mikan!" Tsubasa greeted.

The others turned to see me walking towards them.

I made myself comfortable between Tsubasa and Youichi and grabbed 3 slices of pizza, slapping the pieces upon my paper plate.

"Fat Polka."

I growled warningly at Natsume before devouring my pieces. I hadn't had time to eat after Persona's consecutive experiments. I needed this food and I didn't care what it made me look like.

"Wow Mikan. You sure were hungry," Ruka remarked as I polished my plate.

I reached for 2 more pieces greedily. "I didn't have time to eat breakfast or lunch. I am starving!"

Koko laughed along with the blonde and Tsubasa. "I like a girl who can eat," Koko said while winking playfully.

I snorted and finished my pizza, ignoring the onlookers who found my eating entertaining.

After having my share - which was almost a full box - I slung my arm around You and pulled him into a headlock, playfully ruffling his hair.

"How's school goin' You?"

He grunted but didn't try to escape my grasp. Instead, he seemed to cuddle closer.

"Good," He replied, aqua eyes shining upon meeting my own.

I beamed down at him, proud that he was doing well.

"Good? This bastard is the top in his class and knows every frickin thing there is to know. He's a genius," Tsubasa exclaimed.

Koko nodded, eagerly leaning forward. "But he decided to be in a band. I think he had a brain fart or something because he could be curing cancer or going to the clubs with the ladies from all of the money he would've earned from his job. Stuffing some bills down-"

I slammed Koko's head, sending him to the floor. "Are you frickin retarded?! Do no put your vulgar ideas in his head you sick chimpanzee!"

He whimpered while crawling back to his spot. Tsubasa and Ruka laughed hysterically while Youichi cracked a smile. Natsume stayed stoic - of course.

"Now," I said, dusting off my hands and seating myself once again. "What's the big news?"

Everyone stared expectantly at Natsume while he stared blankly at my face.

As if realizing they desired for him to say the news, he said, "Our new single is number one on the charts and we are going to the Grammy's to get an award."

I squealed and hugged all of the boys except for Natsume who glared at me practically screaming 'you touch me you die'. "Congrats guys! That's amazing!"

Crimson eyes narrowed slightly as he continued, "The bad news is that you're invited to go with us."

I jumped from my seat in utter shock and joy. Tsubasa and I cheered while doing the dougie.

"So you'll go?" Ruka asked, cerulean eyes gleaming with amusement.

I nodded and hugged the boy again. "You guys are amazing! Thanks so much!"

"We didn't get the ticket for you. The faculty said that you would be coming too so we should give the ticket to you," Youichi explained.

Shrugging, I continued my dance of victory while humming an upbeat song to match my moves.

"They'll be held in two days," Ruka added.

Gasping, I whipped out my cell and began to dial Hotaru's number. "I need to call Hotaru to help me with my dress..." I trailed off as I realized I couldn't call her.

Pretending to be content and excited still, I said, "No she won't want to come out with me. I'll just call Nobara and then invite the other girls to help get me ready." I continued rambling to rid my uneasiness. "Anna's good with hair, Misaki's an accessory goddess and Nonoko is outstanding with nails. Nobara can come since she's amazing with dresses and she'll want to see the final draft of what she started."

I sent out a group message to the four which they instantly replied with an excited yes.

My eyes drifted to the band. Koko was smiling blankly while Ruka, Tsubasa, and Youichi frowned at my frazzled state. Natsume just glared at me.

"You're too fucking loud," He growled.

I shrugged him off and squealed once again. "I'm going to the Grammy's!"

After cheering to the point of making Natsume's ears bleed, someone suggested watching a movie. Everyone eagerly agreed safe for Natsume who tried to slip away.

We decided on a horror/action flick about a man in the army who had to kill his enemy to reach a certain check-point. The catch was that his ex - who he had been so cruel to, to the point that she killed herself - was haunting him, always sitting atop his shoulders causing his shoulders to ache. Also no one could see the ghost unless there was an electrical light shining upon her.

I sat on the devil's couch with the said demon on my right, Youichi on his other side and Ruka on my left. Tsubasa and Koko sat at our feet like the little children they were.

Whenever blood was mercilessly spilt, three boys flinched from the gore. During the entirety of the movie, I thought of anything dilemmas yet to be solved.

First dilemma: Will Reo be at the Grammy's? He was a popular singer and had won multiple awards before for his talent so the chances were high. If he was going to be there, how could I avoid him and his goons? I could stay close to the band and have Persona tag along to tell me who is working with Reo and who isn't by matching faces. They couldn't hide behind masks or anything of the sort since it wasn't a masquerade ball, just a formal occasion.

On the screen his ex attacked a man but he couldn't see her. So the dumb ass assumed he killed him instinctively without him actually realizing.

Second dilemma: How to update my information on the Chidoris. It's been 2 years since they'd last made an appearance. Currently all that I knew was that they had improved significantly with combat, someone was supplying the two with advanced weapons and that they would come soon. Their parting words last battle were 'Wait for us, Mikan. Next time, we will be stronger. Next time, when the snow has settled, you'll die'.

I peeked outside and saw the pure white flakes drift towards the green grass. The snow was falling, but it had yet to settle. The weather channel had said a storm would be coming, and I couldn't help but to see how ironic it was. How there was a blizzard to come with snow and another following, one with blood.

Third dilemma: Hotaru. How could I continue to dodge her? She had too many techniques and inventions for me to dodge. Plus, she's a planner. Instead of thinking 2 steps ahead, Hotaru liked to plan 200 steps ahead. She already knows my next move; I'll just have to do something totally uncharacteristic.

My eyes re-focused on the TV while my mind reprimanded itself to not dwell on these topics.

As soon as I had stopped my wondering thoughts, my awareness of my surroundings sunk in. Koko and Tsubasa were holding one another while quivering and Ruka was gobbling the popcorn bowl he held. Youichi sat comfortably while staring blankly at the screen and Natsume was- dammit I hadn't noticed he was watching me!

On the screen the man had finally met up with his comrades, but they were surrounded. My hazel orbs widened as I saw the similarities. His 2 comrades, the only ones having lived, covered the protagonist and took the bullets. Having had bullet proof vests on, they weren't as affected as they could've been. The two threw the main character behind a car and battled the men.

The similarities were uncanny. I was the man being saved by his comrades. His comrades were my parents. My hands began to shake as one of the enemy slipped from the comrades view and went after the haunted man. The said man was about to die when one of the comrades took the bullet.

My vision blurred around the edges as I heard the three gun shots. What the hell was this? Some documentary? My fists were now shaking uncontrollably. I tried to suppress the action by clutching them to the point of breaking the skin covering my palm.

I couldn't take it.

Standing on my unsteady feet, I whispered to Ruka I was going to the bathroom.

"But it's the best part!" He exclaimed.

I laughed but abruptly stopped when my world tipped juristically.

Once out of Natsume's dark room, I stumbled down the hall, banging open doors to find the bathroom.

"Where the hell is it?!" I murmured. I was about to pass out. I needed to find a place to hide myself until I awoke.

A large hand clutched my forearm and steered me to a door. I wanted to see who the man was but my sight had become completely black.

A door banged open and the man guided my hands to a round, smooth and cool surface. A toilet? Without notice, my stomach dropped and my throat filled with liquid. I puked until I was only dry heaving. The entire expansion of me at my lowest was witnessed by the man holding back my hair.

Finally, I was too exhausted to heave or keep myself lifted above the toilet. As I fell to the tile floor, secure and strong arms encased me to a solid chest. We began to move, my limbs hanging limply.

Another door opened but this time with ease.

"Natsume you missed the best par..." Ruka trailed off. "What the hell happened?!"

Natsume...? My savior was the cold-hearted bastard who always seemed so irked by my presence?

"Mikan! Is she alright?" Tsubasa called.

Scuffling was heard and soon I felt a hand gently take refuge upon my forehead.

"She's burning up," Youichi stated.

I peeled open my heavy wells to see if he looked as bad as he sounded. Surely enough, his usually stoic face was crumbled in trepidation. My eyes became unfocused as the room tilted left and right. The dizziness made me moan in agony.

Natsume carried me to a cushioned surface that had velvet sheets covering the plush mattress. I was on his bed.

"I'll get water!" Ruka exclaimed.

"Koko, go get a thermometer. Tsubasa, send word for the nurse," Youichi ordered strictly.

"No," I managed to murmur. It wasn't like me to get sick for nothing. Persona must have slipped something into my body at some point. If they were to get a nurse to check me out she would surely find whatever poison he placed and they would become suspicious.

"No what?" You asked.

As I was about to wheeze a reply, a gruff voice snapped, "No nurse. Just wet a wash clothe with cold water and wring it out."

"Thanks," I heaved as I took some labored breaths. "Natsume..."

With that, I fell unconscious.

* * *

**Sorry for the belated update!**

**Please do me a favor and say any predictions you may have! :) Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for updating so late! Oh, and please read the 'Kind of Important' at the bottom if you remember :D**

* * *

The TV flickered with humorous videos which made me giggle. Meanwhile the male beside me glared at the television as though it was at fault for playing the show.

"Natsume just give it a chance," I sighed.

He turned his head away from me and replied, "Tch."

I had just awoken from my 18 hour slumber. Natsume had been watching TV and I had jumped over and taken the remote, changing the show to his displeasure.

Turns out, I was right that Persona had fed me a poison. There was a text on my phone that I peaked at. It had said, 'Sorry for the poison. Just another test.' Later I'd figure out the specifics of his experiment since it cost me a temporary illness. Further more, I was now stuck with Natsume for the entire day.

Apparently, Persona and his goons were out and about doing some helpful crap about Reo and the band had all gone out somewhere for the day.

"Natsume?" I asked.

"Hn?"

I sat back against his comfy sofa and stretched some. "What are we going to do today?"

His crimson wells narrowed. "We?"

"Well, yeah," I said. "The others are all out and I don't have anything else to do. And by the way that you aren't hustling me out of your home, I'd say that you're free too."

He glared at me, saying, "Why would I want to spend time with such an obstreperous girl?"

I flicked his forehead while chuckling. "Pulling out the big words, huh? I'm not _that_ stupid."

"Could've fooled me," He grumbled before running his hand through his hair.

An idea popped into my head. I couldn't tame the cynical smirk that played across my lips. "I know what we'll do."

Natsume eyed me from the corners of his eyes, frowning slightly at my newfound aura.

I got up and peeked out of the window to see a good 3 feet of snow on the frozen ground. Perfect conditions for what I was planning.

"You'll need 2 pairs gloves, a hat, boots, and a jacket. Plus some money to buy for the both of us," I chirped while plopping down beside him again.

He casted me a suspicious glance.

I reassured him with a bright smile. "I don't have my wallet or snow gear so you'll have to provide them for me."

Natsume shook his head but stood and walked towards the door. Once realizing that I wasn't following, he glanced at me and asked, "Coming, Polka?"

My nose scrunched at my nickname but I stood and complied to his will. I ended up following him to the elevator where he pressed the button with the number '3' on it.

"I swear, Natsume, you'll enjoy this!" I quipped eagerly.

He scoffed, "I better."

The doors opened revealing an open hallway that lead to a single door. The walls were Carolina blue with bash carpet.

Natsume casually opened the double doors at the end of the hall and called, "Aoi dress her up," before walking back to the elevator and going to his room I presumed.

All of this barely registered because laid out before me was a room the size of the entire floor. I guess instead of having a hallway to lead to each room, this person decided to not waste the space and put everything in one room.

There was a lounge area with a huge TV, a mini-spa with the massage chairs, a ginormous walk in closet, some form of a kitchen, a library - aisles and all - , a study area with a wrap-around desk with some file cabinets and machines and a round bed placed in the center of everything.

Laying leisurely on the bed was a young girl with raven hair cropped to her shoulders and identical crimson orbs. Although hers were more cheerful and sprightly compared to Natsume's. Apparently, we had interrupted her reading time because she was in mid-flip of a glossed magazine, one leg floating in the air.

She smiled brightly at me before saying, "Hi! I'm Aoi, Natsume's younger sister."

I returned the gesture and made my way to her. "I'm Mikan, the new lead dancer for Raven5S."

The girl pouted slightly while rolling into a sitting position. "Damn. I thought you were his girlfriend."

"Far from it," I laughed.

"He seriously needs a girl. You should see him, besides his band, he has no life. All he does is stay locked up on his floor and when I manage to open the locks, he's just sitting on his couch reading a damned manga!"

Again, I laughed. "Whenever I'm around he's sulking or making snarky comments to get a rise out of me."

We both giggled as we talked of her troublesome brother. After regaining my composure, I said, "I don't know why he brought me here. I told him I needed snow gear and he just lead me to your room. Sorry I'll just-"

"He wants me to lend you some of my gear," She interrupted.

I opened my mouth in the shape of an 'o' while realizing his idea. My hazel orbs scanned her body to see if we were alike in size. Surely enough, we were both skinny and curvy plus our bust size seemed similar.

"Are you okay with that?" I asked.

Aoi laughed while walking towards her closet. "I have practically 20 different styles of everything. I think that I won't miss one jacket, hat and a pair of gloves and boots." I opened my mouth to reply when she continued, "Besides, if it means getting my brother out of the house, I'd lend you everything that I own. Including my cars!"

I sweat-dropped before she pushed me onto a cozy chair inside of her closet. She rifled through racks of colors using her petite hands. Eventually, she threw me some clothes and asked me to try them on.

It was a peach colored north face, a lime green scarf with some matching gloves and white snow boots. They fit fine but I felt bad taking stuff that I knew costed more than a car.

"It's fine! Look," She had said, extending her hand to many more similar shoes, gloves, scarfs and north faces, "I have a million more. Just take them. Actually, keep them, okay? They look better on you anyways."

After dressing up, I waited for Natsume and passed the time by talking with Aoi. She was extremely kind and comedic. She was apparently a sophomore in college - two years younger than me. Her personality was one I had never seen before. It was almost like she was shy but she was pushing herself to seem outgoing.

Finally, I asked, "Why are you pushing yourself to be something your not?"

Aoi looked taken aback by my random question. She responded by stuttering some sort of lie about her not faking anything but she gave up when I raised a brow skeptically at her.

"I wanted to impress you. I could tell you were older plus you're so beautiful. And if you could convince my brother to go out with you, you must be amazing. I'm sorry."

After a moment of silence, I burst out into laughter. "You don't have to try to impress me," I gasped after regaining my breath. "You're a smart, kind and caring woman that is drop-dead-gorgeous. Trust me when I say that you were already my friend when you shoved some clothes in my face."

We smiled at one another and continued to chatter until Natsume finally opened the door. He was clad in a black north face, Tims and some light-washed jeans.

"Where are we going?" He asked dully.

I jumped off of the bed and scampered out of the room, taking his hand and yelling, "Bye, Aoi! I'll talk to you soon!"

After entering the elevator I asked, "You have a GPS, right?" He nodded slowly while stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Then I'll type in the location and you can drive."

Natsume's nerves were wearing thin as I prolonged the inevitable. We stepped out of his mansion and situated ourselves within his sleek black Jeep. I took hold of his GPS and typed in the address before placing it in it's holder atop his radio.

We drove in silence as I was too eager and excited to speak. Natsume was merely too pissed that he was being dragged somewhere unknown by the likes of me.

Eventually, we reached our destination: A steep snow-covered hill with a myriad of people flocking it's surface. Each was holding an air-filled tube.

"Fuck," Natsume muttered.

I laughed and coaxed, "It'll be fun, Natsume! Who doesn't like snow tubing?"

Before he could comment, I jumped out of the Jeep and opened his door for him. He reluctantly stepped out and faced the biting cold of the winter air. We got our tickets and were given a tube. We then continued to the lift where a pole attached to a moving wire caught onto our handles.

As we were hoisted up, I made faces at Natsume and giggled since I was in front of him and he could see me. Instead of smiling, he became more irritated and continued to snub me with his nose. I was hoping that maybe he would loosen up a bit while tubing.

We eventually reached the top of the people-packed hill. I quickly crawled out of the way of the oncoming people and Natsume followed, albeit in a more graceful and cool way.

I pondered on which slope to take, placing a finger upon my chin. "Which one should we go down?"

The lad on my right began walking towards the one right in front of us. I followed and accidentally slipped on the ice. My feet flew out from beneath me and I landed flat on my ass. People laughed and stared but I didn't really care. I was used to the rather negative attention of being a klutz.

"Moron," Natsume muttered with a small smirk of amusement playing across his lips.

I laughed before standing atop my feet. My butt was sore so I rubbed it a bit before Natsume glared at me for looking stupid.

I took a breath and said, "Natsume lets play a game."

He didn't even bother glancing at me before snapping, "No."

"It'll be fun!" I whined. "Just try it!"

"That's what you said about this trip," He rebutted.

"Yeah but this is fun. Just give it a chance," I pleaded.

After a long pause, he said, "Tch," which I took as a yes.

"Great!" I cheered while moving up with the line. "It's called 'An Eye For An Eye'. We start by one of us asking-"

"I know how to play the damned game," He interrupted. "I'm not playing."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. That's not giving it a chance, Natsume."

"I've already given it a chance," He muttered before smirking and continuing, "Polka."

I childishly stomped my foot and huffed, "Just appease me, Hyuuga."

His brow twitched at the use of his last name before he growled, "Fine, Polka."

For a minute, we stood with crossed arms while glaring at one another. Finally, I broke our gaze to step forward in the line. Our turn would be coming soon.

"I'll start," I suggested. "What's your favorite color?"

Natsume looked at me for a moment appearing slightly bewildered on why I was asking such a simplistic question.

"Red," He replied.

I nodded my head since that was what I had assumed. After a while of waiting I asked, "Are you going to ask me a question? I thought you said that you knew how to-?"

"What's yours?" He interrupted.

"Orange!" I chirped with a goofy smile playing across my face. "When did you begin to sing?"

"When I was 8," He scowled. "You?"

I gave him a suspicious gaze before saying, "6."

It seemed as though he was only going to repeat my questions which wouldn't be fun. I was about to comment on my hypothesis when he said, "Why don't you have a band?"

Slightly frazzled I answered, "Because I promised myself that I wouldn't sing after my..." Realization dawned on me. "You can't ask 2 questions in a row!" I whined.

Natsume began situating himself in his tube. I sat beside him on my own and clung onto his tubes' handle.

"We aren't going together," He said with a twitch of his brow.

"Yes we are. You could go run off between the time it takes for you to go down the hill and for me to go down so we're going together. Deal with it," I said haughtily.

"Go!" Yelled the supervisor.

With that, I reared ourselves back and then flung us forward and down the steep hill. The wind crashed against my face as I squealed in delight because of the butterflies in my tummy. I clutched tighter onto Natsume's tube as we began to spin and rock from side to side.

As the hill section was over, I began laughing because of the sheer rush. We dashed across the ice below us before we bounced off of the air-filled wall cutting off access to the other side.

I fell into a fit of giggles and saw Natsume watching me with amusement, a small smile gracing his features.

Then a guy started yelling at us, "Get out of the way! Go to the side!"

Begrudgingly, we stood and dragged our tubes to the side to go up on the lift yet again.

"My turn!" I chirped. "What's your happiest memory?"

I gave my handle to the man so that he could again place it on the pole attached to the wire. Again, I was in front of Natsume and we both stared at each other. Although this time, I wasn't goofing around.

Minutes passed by until we almost reached the top of the hill.

"...Natsume...?"

He looked into my hazel orbs with such intensity that it scared me. Finally, he said, "I don't have one." Before I could comment he continued, "Now answer my previous question."

I sighed and said, "I don't have a band because I promised myself that I wouldn't sing in front of others after my mother died."

His expression was blank, unsympathetic, and a little bit intrigued.

"Let's stop this game for now and have fun," I suggested before being unloaded off of the lift.

We went down all of the slopes plenty of times together and ignored the obvious gazes of others towards us. The girls and boys alike were drooling.

After a while, our time had run out. We were bringing our sleds back to the storage room when a man suddenly appeared before us.

He stammered, "May I take your picture?"

Both of us were shocked by the sudden question. I looked down to find a professional looking camera being held in his hands.

"Why?" Natsume demanded.

The poor fellow whimpered, "It's my job to take pictures for advertisement. If you want I could give you a copy too..."

I giggled and eagerly replied, "Sure!"

Natsume glared at me before I snuggled close to him and smiled brightly for the camera. The guy quickly snapped a photo and the picture came out of the bottom of the camera.

I quickly snatched it and yelled while running away, "Thanks!"

The man stuttered, "But I need that! I was going to make you a copy!" He continued on but we ignored him as we placed our tubes in the trailer and hopped into Natsume's Jeep.

I peaked at the picture and smiled fondly. Two stunning beings were displayed. Natsume was glaring softly at the top of my head, one hand wrapped around my waist from the surprise of me snuggling to him and the other holding his tube. His raven hair was slightly swaying with the wind and a miniscule smile was playing across his lips.

Next to him was a lovely brunette whose hair was splayed out into the air. Her hazel orbs were crinkled due to her ginormous, beaming grin. I clung onto Natsume's clothing and had one of my feet slightly uplifted from the ground due to me leaning on the said male.

In the background was a soft flurry of the snow falling and the hills where many content customers laughed and sailed.

"Look, Natsume. This is a great picture!" I squealed while shoving the paper into his face.

He swatted my hand away since he was driving and after took the picture. He silently observed it before shoving it in his pocket.

"Eh?"

Natsume glanced at me before saying, "I don't want evidence that I went out with you."

I stuck out my bottom lip in protest. "But I liked it! Besides it's evidence that you can smile!"

"I wasn't smiling," He spat.

"Yeah," I replied, "You were. See the upturn of your lips. That's called a smile."

"Why were you looking at my lips?" He smirked.

I blushed lightly before huffing, "Because I was looking at the picture and your lips are in the picture..."

The car ride was filled with my babbling and his occasional 'hn' or 'tch'. Overall, I thought that I had created a bond with him. However fragile and transparent it may be, there was definitely something connecting us now. Almost like understanding.

Natsume understood my situation and how I was handling it. Meanwhile I understood his reasons to put up an alias.

I unconsciously said, "You're a wicked good actor."

Natsume's hands tightened around the wheel in discomfort. I slapped my hand over my mouth with wide eyes. I frickin just said that aloud! Crap, crap, crap, crap!

I awaited for is response, basking in the tense air. Minutes passed, each suffocating me more and more. Finally I couldn't withstand the pressure and mumbled, "Sorry I-"

"Polka," He interrupted.

I snapped my head to him, eyes wide. "Y...Yes?"

His jaw tensed as he thought of how to articulate his sentence. "How did you know?"

My mind reeled back to when I first met Natsume. "It was when I first met you," I began. "When I was a child, I had learned how to judge people and their auras. When I met you, I felt an overbearing aura that made me feel weak and scared. After the initial shock, I realized that the aura was too forced and - if I looked deep enough - I could tell that it wasn't your aura but one that you desired.

"After trying to decipher everything for a minute, I found your true aura with the way you moved and forced your body. I could tell that your actual aura was one of kindness and generosity. A truly admirable and rare aura."

The car rang out with my last words. Natsume gained a pensive mask as he steered his way back to his mansion. I allowed him to soak up the information I had just spilt. The window wipers swayed to and fro, trying to rid the snow falling upon the glass. I was momentarily mesmerized by the scene before us.

It reminded me so much of my time with my parents. Before we began running from everything.

"My turn," I remarked to break the palpable air.

Natsume glanced at me with a questionable look present on his face.

"You asked a question and I answered. Now I get to ask a question and you answer. Remember the game...?"

He nodded slightly, whether it signaled that he remembered the game or that I could ask a question was unknown to me. So, I just assumed it was both.

"Okay...since that was a pretty personal question, I think it's fair to ask a similar one." I saw his hands clenched and had to sigh, "What's your favorite food?"

Natsume looked at me and said, "That's personal?"

I poked his forehead and replied, "I couldn't do something so horrid when you had such a pathetic look on your face."

The crimson-eyed lad growled and glared holes in my head. "I wasn't pathetic looking."

"You couldn't see your face so you wouldn't know," I rebutted.

Instead of continuing our altercation, he said, "Onigiri."

My hazel irises dilated in surprise. "_The_ Natsume Hyuuga likes something as simple as rice balls?"

"You're really ticking me off, Little Girl."

I put a hand over my heart, as though hurt by his words. "I was just shocked."

Natsume snapped, "Shut up, Nuisance."

My lips twitched into a smile as I coaxed, "I'll make you an onigiri some time then."

His crimson eyes analyzed me for a long time, as though trying to find an answer. Eventually, I began to feel insecure and uncomfortable so I asked, "What?"

"It's my turn, right?"

Slowly, I nodded, trying to figure out what he was up to. But instead of asking, he returned his attention to the road and we drove in silence. Until I couldn't take the suspense anymore at least.

"What's your damn question Natsume?" I screeched. He was baiting me and I didn't enjoy it.

The lad chuckled in amusement before replying, "I'll tell you when we get home."

For the rest of the ride, I had my arms crossed and cheeks puffed out in a pout. I pondered melancholy of his question. All ideas ran through my head as I tried to decipher why he was waiting. Was it because the question was wicked personal? Maybe I could use my one pass for it...but then he may ask an even more personal question.

What if he asks about my period! If it's between asking about my period and asking of my past, which would I chose to use my pass? My past would be the most logical answer but...my period is wicked personal and it'd be embarrassing to tell him about it. He'll probably ask when my cycle it. I wouldn't be able to answer that!

I turned to Natsume and glared. Damn him! He's screwing with my head and driving me mental. I guess revealing my past wouldn't be that bad if it were to Natsume. He's already known of the hardships and it's not like I'll need to tell him details...but then I won't have to tell him details about my period either. Mikan, there are no details about periods! Unless he wants to delve into all of the nasty stuff about it, which I doubt. But with Natsume you -

"Moron stop glaring at me."

I blinked and realized that I was still glaring at him, just as he had said.

"Then tell me the damned question, Natsume! The suspense is literally killing my brain cells."

He scoffed. "You don't have any."

"If you weren't driving, you'd be dead. I'm just letting you know so that you won't mess with me anymore," I replied haughtily.

"As if," He mumbled.

I decided to end the conversation there and spent the rest of the car ride in silence.

Finally, we reached his mansion. I jumped out of the car and bolted into the house, yelling a brief greeting to Hugo. As Natsume strolled leisurely around the corner, I pressed the up bottom continuously. He eventually got annoyed by my impatience and slapped my hand.

"Ow!"

He merely glared at me before entering the elevator.

I hopped on soon after and prodded, "The important question...?"

"After we change," He growled in annoyance.

I leaped in the air with joy before the outside garden caught my attention yet again. My hands pressed against the glass as I attempted to see the garden and it's beauty better. That's when I remembered my question.

"Who made your garden, Natsume?"

To my surprise, he too was gazing at the hypnotic arrangement with awe. "My mom."

I gasped and pressed my nose against the glass. "She's an amazing gardener," I sighed. "Maybe she could teach me a few things!"

"No," He replied blankly, turning away from the garden.

"Why?" I asked.

The doors opened and he walked out of it with me ensuing.

"I don't want you around more than you have to be."

"But you went snow tubing with me!" I exclaimed.

"I was forced."

We entered his room where I threw my stuff off and placed them on the couch. I followed my outdoor apparel and plopped onto the comforting leather. Again, Natsume took his time ridding himself of his clothing. Then I realized that he was doing it to spite me. Instead of reacting the way he wanted me to, I patiently awaited for him to be ready.

Finally, he sat across from me after getting a drink for himself. I stared at him expectantly, eagerly leaning forward. Natsume looked to the side to avoid my probing and desperate gaze.

"You're ugly," He remarked.

Caught off guard, I sat back a little before shrugging and replying, "In your eyes maybe."

Natsume turned to me and held my gaze. I felt somewhat uncomfortable and wanted to look away but his eyes - the color of blood - were too intense and mesmerizing. So instead, I stared back at him with confidence, hoping to prove that I wasn't afraid of him.

"Why do you like everyone?"

Again, I sat back in shock. "What got you thinking that?" I asked in reply.

Natsume narrowed his eyed before saying,"In the car, I was calling you names and instead of getting pissed, you ignored them and acted as though I was nice."

I opened my mouth to reply when I realized that my answer was much more complex than that. He was right, I didn't hate anyone, not even Reo. The feeling I held over Reo was more of disappointment that he had not been the man I had thought and - although I hated to admit it - fear of his power and desires for me. Every person that I'd met as of late I had instantly taken either a liking to or we had established an understanding of one another.

My mind slowly configured an answer. I played it over and over again in my mind, trying to see if there was any holes in it that would reveal anything more than I wanted. Then, I asked myself if he would be satisfied with my reply. Knowing Natsume, he would want to know more but wouldn't delve into the topic because he would want to keep his neutral expression in tact.

I locked my hazel eyes onto his crimson wells and took a small breath. "There are things I said that I would never do and fears that I can't even begin to believe have come true. I guess to answer your question I'd say: my soul is too sick too little too late and myself, I have grown too wary to hate."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please tell me predictions or thoughts and if you have any questions I'll gladly answer 'em.**

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	9. Chapter 9

**I'm really hoping for at least a hundred reviews!**

**Beta creds to Unknown Pain and Topaz Tsubasa**

* * *

"Nobara, please stop!" I pleaded on my knees.

The said girl merely giggled as she shoved me into the changing room with the dresses she had handpicked from the racks.

"Let me see each one too, okay, Mikan?" she asked in her sweet, innocent voice.

I sighed and answered her with a hum.

All of the dresses were different in so many ways – I'd say that there was about 15 or 20 total. The styles varied from scoop neck to boat neck, red to black, glittery to leathery and short to long. Although some options were rather skanky, I'd have to try them on for Nobara's sake.

"Remember," she called through the door, "these are just the styles so that I can see what best fits you. After you've tried those on, I'll find similar ones that could compliment you even better."

I turned around and began sifting through the articles; a blue, glittery dress caught my eye, so I decided to try that one on first. After putting it on, I stepped out of the room and allowed Nobara to inspect me.

"No," she declared. Before I could complain, she shooed me into the room while saying, "Next. We don't have much time."

The same occurrence continued to happen until there were only a few dresses left. She told me to put a few specific ones aside since they seemed to flatter me, but not 'wow' flattery.

I stepped out of the room and into the open, not even bothering to look at myself since I knew that this dress wouldn't meet her standards either.

Nobara eyed me for several moments before telling me to spin slowly. I did as I was told and when I had finished the rotation, she was grinning like she was love-struck.

"It's perfect," she breathed, her aqua eyes shining in pride and happiness.

Cocking my head to the side, I turned to the mirrors showcasing my body and gasped slightly at what I saw – it was a pale pink, chiffon dress with one shoulder strap covered in glittering jewels. On the bodice glistened myriads of twinkling gems, some larger while others sat in the background, silently complementing the main jewels. The soft, layered fabric draped to my feet, covering my bare skin. With my auburn curls softly cascading down the smooth fabric and my tall and curved frame, it made me seem perfect.

I turned slightly to look at the back; it was tight along the bodice and loose below it, just like the front.

"Mikan, you look _absolutely_ gorgeous! That's the one! We don't even have to look for other colours, or anything!" Nobara rambled while touching my dress. "The color complements your complexion and the structure pronounces your feminine qualities. Plus, the jewels could easily be matched with earrings and necklaces and such, which would only make it better."

Her whole face was shining with joy as she babbled on about all of the pros of the dress.

But I had already found one con. "Nobara, it's five hundred and seventy three dollars."

She stopped and looked at me in bewilderment.

To make myself clear, I repeated, "It's five _fucking_ hundred and seventy-three _freaking_ dollars!"

Nobara nodded slowly. "So pay for it."

Before I could protest, Nobara waltzed away while dialling Misaki's number to ask about accessories and shoes.

Sighing, I took off the dress and put on my other articles of clothing.

The woman smiled kindly and began typing on the register while asking me irksome questions. Before I could fork over my credit card, Nobara came rushing over with her arms full of shiny objects.

"She'll take these too," she said hastily as she placed them on the counter.

The cashier's smile widened. "Okay," she chirped. "That'll be a total of nine hundred and forty-six dollars and twenty-four cents."

My jaw dropped in horror; that pile of shiny shit cost almost another four hundred bucks?

"Nobara…?" I seethed while turning to her.

She smiled sheepishly. "Misaki gave me some ideas on what the accessories should look like, but there were so many that I didn't know which one to choose. So, I picked all of them."

My brow twitched in irritation.

"Those Gucci shoes probably are the most expensive, but they're gorgeous, Mikan."

With several veins popping, I reluctantly handed over my credit card, making the clerk put up a fight to take it. Once she finally tore it from my grasp, she giddily swiped the card and began packing my clothing.

I could already tell that this makeover would be Hell and back.

* * *

_At least I won't have to do it alone_, I thought cheekily.

My entire dance team sat beside me, all getting perms from my best friends. I decided to not hire anyone special after paying so much for my designer clothing and accessories. Apparently Prada, Gucci and Louis Vuitton were renowned world-wide for their clothing line.

Ume sat stiffly on the bench as Anna did her hair while talking animatedly about some guy she had recently met. She merely ducked her head and politely spoke to Anna in an adorable manner.

Kotori stomped out of Aoi's closet and struck a pose for Nobara, showing off her dazzling magenta dress, which complemented her matching eyes.

"Isn't it just amazing?" She laughed haughtily while Nobara smiled shyly.

To my left sat Yurie as we both waited for our facial masks to dry while flipping through magazines. She occasionally giggled and pointed out a funny picture, her emerald orbs shining in joy.

Kaname was being yelled at by Nonoko as the blue-eyed beauty attempted to coat Kaname in a bronzer.

"I don't need a damn bronzer!" Kaname screeched indignantly.

She flipped her long navy hair behind her back and crossed her arms over her chest in defiance.

"Who's the make-up prodigy here?" Nonoko warned tersely.

With that, Kaname begrudgingly allowed Nonoko to place a thin layer over her skin.

Lastly were the two twins, Ishi and Ito. Both were practically finished; they wore a soft pink eye-shadow to make their rosy eyes pop and their teal hair was braided into a bun sitting idly at the base of their necks.

"Yurie," Nobara called. "Could I see you with your dress on?"

The strawberry-blond hoisted herself off the carpet and replied, "Sure, I'll be there in a second." She wiggled her fingers my way before grabbing her light emerald dress and trotting into the closet.

Now alone, I looked down at my nails. They matched my dress and were almost done drying, or so Nonoko had claimed. She had already done my make-up and assured me that I looked dazzling. Now I only needed Anna to do my hair and I'd be done.

After looking around the room, I realized that practically everyone was almost done. All Kaname needed was to put her crimson dress on and Ume needed Nonoko to do her make-up. Kotori, Ishi and Ito were done, with Yurie close behind them.

"Mikan, you look gorgeous," Aoi remarked with a sly grin as she appeared by my side.

I rolled my eyes. "I wish I could see myself."

She laughed and sat beside me, taking Yuire's magazine and beginning to flip through its contents.

"I think it's better that you wait until you're finished," Aoi said. "Gives the process more suspense." She sent me a sly grin tagged with a wink before gasping aloud in astonishment. "Wait. If you and your gang are going to the Grammies, does that mean that you're going with Natsume and his band?"

"Yeah," I replied casually. "The boys are prepping upstairs in his room."

Aoi's eyes widened before she looked around the room and silently counted off. Then, she giggled sinisterly.

More than a little sceptical, I asked, "... What?"

Her crimson orbs glistened in amusement. "There's a perfect number."

"A perfect number?" I repeated while quirking an interested brow.

"Exactly," she stated. "Well, Ruka and Hotaru are going as an item, right? And Kaname is bringing a date. So, that leaves five boys and six girls."

"But there's one less boy, and besides, I can only count four: Natsume, Koko, You and Tsubasa."

"You're forgetting the band's manager, Yuu. And if you look at the twins, I'd say that they wouldn't mind sharing a date for the night."

My mouth dropped open in horror. "Date?"

Aoi nodded. "It looks better when you step out of a limo with a hot chick clinging to your arm, and vice versa for girls. The boys are probably calling dibs upstairs right now."

I squeaked in trepidation. If we were to all have one of the boys as a date, then that would mean that I'd have to physically touch them. Plus, with the after party being held, we'd most likely have to dance. At times like these, I desperately desired to have Hotaru by my side, calming me down with her scientific data.

"Mikan!" Anna called. "I'm ready to do your hair."

I numbly nodded and walked to the bench where she stood.

Ume smiled angelically at me as we swapped places. I momentarily pulled out of my stupor to say an ecstatic, "You look absolutely beautiful, Ume," before I fell back under.

Anna gently tugged my hair into several sections and reached for an item on Aoi's table. "Is something the matter?" she asked quietly.

Catching my bottom lip between my teeth, I shook my head.

"Don't move, Mikan!" she squeaked.

I froze and held my breath, attempting to be stone-still. After hearing Anna's soft sigh of relief, I allowed my body to relax again.

"You can tell me," Anna whispered with a pleading edge etched into her voice.

Sighing, I mumbled, "I'm going to have to use one of the boys as my date for the Grammies."

Her fingers combed through my few knots absent-mindedly. She hummed softly to herself in thought before her breath hitched. She bent to my ear, saying, "You don't mean..."

I solemnly hummed, "Mhm."

Anna sighed dejectedly. "Maybe it won't act up."

"Like I'll have that type of luck," I scoffed.

She continued doing my hair in silence. Every now and then, she'd sympathetically pat my shoulder, allowing me to know that she was there for me.

Finally, she announced, "Finished!"

Everyone gathered around as I was the only one that had yet to be finished. As they analysed me, I did the same to them; every girl looked absolutely stunning, with dresses that fit them perfectly, permed hair, and painted make-up.

"Wow! You look awesome, Mikan!"

"Yeah, it's mind-boggling."

"Why can't I have your looks?"

I laughed as the compliments were slung my way. "Thanks girls. You look amazing too. I'd—"

"Oh, I know," Kotori boomed. She grinned widely and continued, "Doesn't this dress just bring out my eyes?"

I laughed again. "Yeah, you look amazing in that dress. It really suits you."

Her magenta mouth crinkled in annoyance. "Well, I think you would've looked much better in—" Kaname slapped her hand over Kotori's loud mouth and laughed nervously. "She's just jealous, Mik. Don't let her idiotic words reach you."

The group erupted into laughter. Kotori ripped Kaname's hand off her before pouting slightly. Then she seemed to realize that she was the center of attention and began soaking up the laughter.

"Are you ladies done yet?"

We all turned to Aoi's door to see Ruka carefully peeking through it.

"Yeah, come on in!" Aoi called.

The blond nodded before widening the door and stepping in. A line of men followed him in their suits, all breathtakingly handsome.

Tsubasa, being the smooth man of the group, took Misaki's hand and pecked it gently. "You look ravishing, my lady."

The Carmen-haired lass ripped her hand from his grip and scolded, "I'm still mad."

His broken features made me frown in sadness.

"But—"

"And for the last time," Misaki interrupted, "I am _not_ going to this event with you."

"Okay. Well, we need to decide pairs," Ruka intervened.

All of the girls eagerly nodded.

"Well, I'm not going to stick around for this," Misaki snapped.

Anna, Nonoko and Nobara attempted to stop her as she stormed out, but to no avail. Instead, they bid us farewell before chasing after her.

"Alright," Koko exclaimed while clapping his hands. "Who wants to be my lady for a day?"

I looked down the line of girls on either side of me to find no one stepping forward.

Koko's bright expression dimmed considerably as he sulked back.

Then, Ishi and Ito stepped forward, both of their heads lowered. They bowed at him at the same time, and said, "We'd be honored, Koko."

The brunet's aloof grin appeared yet again as he took one under each of his wings. He brought them towards the door, chatting up a storm.

We watched them go before the room was enveloped in silence.

"I better go with them to the limo," Ruka remarked. "Hotaru's waiting, and you know how she hates waiting."

Kaname jumped out of our line, saying, "I'll come too since my date is waiting in the living room downstairs."

With that, they left as well, leaving behind no mediator.

"Uhm, I believe that we have yet to meet, Miss Sakura."

I looked over to find a blond standing before me. He bowed politely, "I am Yuu Tobita, the manager of Raven5S."

Smiling kindly, I replied, "I'm Mikan Sakura, their new lead dancer."

He had kind and timid caramel eyes that were masked behind thick glasses. His tux was neat and prim, giving off a professional appearance.

"Yes, I know," he stated.

I blushed in embarrassment and was surprised when he did the same.

"Ah, sorry," he muttered. Then, he turned and walked over to Ume. "Shall we?" he asked formally.

The poor girl turned into several shades of red before she looped arms with him and smiled shyly. "Okay..." Ume replied, hiding her dazzling golden orbs behind her pink bangs.

Now there was only Kotori, Yurie and me on the girls side, and Natsume, Youichi and Tsubasa on the boys – we all awkwardly stood facing one another. No girl was going to make the first move and it seemed that the men were just as headstrong.

Finally, Youichi stepped forward and said, "Mikan, let's—"

"No!" Tsubasa suddenly shouted and pulled me into a tight hug. "She's mine!"

Youichi glared at the blue-haired male with enmity before spitting, "Release her."

Tsubasa stood defiantly by my side, squeezing me tighter. I began to feel the creeping sensation of suffocation wrap around my lungs. My phobia slowly started to overtake my body.

But before I could completely go berserk, Kotori tore Tsubasa off me. She clung to his arm, squeaking, "Be my date!"

The lad looked lost for a moment before he looked down at the navy-haired girl. His deep blue eyes momentarily glazed over before he shook his head. Then he kindly smiled at her and said, "Sure. Let's go."

When Kotori looked up in shock, he merely winked before interlocking their arms and prancing out of the door.

"Glad that bastard's gone," Yo mumbled. He turned to me and held out his hand. "We should go too."

As I was about to take his offered palm, Yurie stepped in front of me. "I'd love to go with you."

I quirked a brow in surprise; I never pinned Yurie to be the aggressive type.

Youichi rolled his eyes down the length of her body before walking around her and saying, "Thanks, but I'd—"

"Oh," she said, taking a step back and peeking around Yo. "I was…" she clasped her hands together before her and looked at the floor. "I was talking to Natsume…"

Everyone turned to look at the confronted man before us, wondering what he would do. His eyes slowly scanned over Yurie, making the girl shift uncomfortably and attempt to somewhat cover her body with her hands.

"Great," he muttered.

Yurie smiled politely. "Let's have fun, Natsume."

He scoffed before turning on his heels and walking out of the door with Yurie chasing behind him.

Turning to Yo, I said with a smile, "Well, I guess it's you and me, kiddo."

He smiled slightly before offering his arm which I graciously accepted. We silently trotted to the limo waiting outside of the mansion. Even though we were mere inches away from one another, I felt as though we were miles apart.

I stepped foot outside of the house and felt the sudden chill of winter nip at my bare skin. With a slight shiver, I continued on, attempting to keep pace with Yo's long strides.

Halfway down the stairs, Youichi pulled his arm out of my own. Surprised, I looked up at him in question, only to find him shrugging off his jacket.

He slipped the coat over my slim frame and looked away while offering his arm. "It's only a loan," he clarified.

I giggled lightly and looped my arm within his. Together, we made it into the limo where everyone was chattering with each other in excitement.

Yo allowed me to slip in before him. I slid into the leather seat beside Natsume with Youichi taking refuge beside me.

"Let's get this over with!" the crimson-eyed lad yelled to the driver.

Ruka chuckled lightly in amusement. "Only Natsume would see the Grammies as a task to attend."

Everyone agreed while jesting at the boy as he glared daggers at those who stomped upon his pride.

"Hey," I called. Once I had everyone's attention, I proceeded, "How come you guys are taking your dance team to the Grammies." The girls all nodded, eagerly waiting for the bos answer. It was obvious that they too had noticed the same thing.

"I mean, you could be having some famous super model going with you," Kaname added.

Ruke smiled softly, obviously deciding to be the voice of the band. "We wanted to thank you for your hard work as of late. But since none of us know any of you too well, we decided that taking you to the Grammies was best."

"Besides," Tsubasa said, "we never got to welcome Mikan to the team." He sent me a wink of affection with his arm slung loosely around Kotori.

I beam at my friends, finding the 'gift' touching. "Thanks you guys! This is awesome."

"I doubt it."

My body tensed as I heard the icy tone of my best friend. Everyone turned to glance at her in disbelief and disdain before going about their business again.

I kept my mouth closed and my gaze fixated on my lap throughout the rest of the car ride. I still could feel Hotaru's eyes watching me, boring holes through my forehead with her violet orbs.

She didn't talk for the rest of the ride either, but for her, keeping silent was normal.

Not only was I stressing over Hotaru, but I was also worrying about Reo and how Persona would handle him; especially at the after party. There were so many dilemmas that I could barely wrap my arms around them.

We eventually arrived at the grand theater where the Grammies were being held.

A luscious red carpet was rolled out before our door with photographers and other members of the media screaming in excitement.

When Ruka and Hotaru, being the first couple to step out of the car, opened the door, the obstreperous sound of the said horde reached my ears.

Everyone waiting in the car flinched and sighed in exhaustion. Funny, how the night had just begun and already, everyone was tired.

All of the couples stepped out of the car, giving the people before them time to waltz down the carpet, sign autographs and pose for pictures.

Youichi and I, having been the last in the car, were the final pair left in the space. Together, we silently abided for Natsume and Yurie to vanish behind the golden doors resting idly at the end of the carpet.

Even though the car door was closed and the windows were rolled up, I could still hear the press' screams to Natsume.

"Mr. Hyuuga, is it true that you're dating Luna Koizumi?"

"Are you truly going on a tour to Europe?"

"Natsume! Did you hire a new dance leader?"

Then, before we stepped foot out of the car, Yo grabbed my wrist and whispered, "Smile for the cameras, Mikan. Frowns don't look good in photos."

I took a breath and forced the best smile that I could muster. Youichi gently released my wrist and opened the door. Again, the rowdy bunch screamed, although even more desperately.

Yo looked back at me where I sat waiting for his hand on the seat. With the flashes from the cameras in the background, his hair seemed to grow an ethereal shine. He commanded his aqua eyes to turn stoic before extending his pale, calloused hand my way.

I graciously took it and allowed him to help me out of the car. Before proceeding, I closed my eyes for a moment to calm myself. With that, I squeezed Youichi's warm hand and followed his lead.

"Is that the new lead dancer? By Mr. Hiijiri's side"

All of their eyes shifted my way upon hearing the question. The reporters froze for a millisecond before the cameras began flashing so frequently that I felt blinded. Their cries had my ears practically bleeding.

"Miss Sakura, you're dancing again?"

"Are you and Reo still in a relationship?"

"So you're Natsume's new dance coordinator?"

"Is there any form of chemistry between the two of you?"

"What's the story between you and Youichi?"

"Will you be singing tonight?"

"Where's Reo?"

Yo seemed slightly shocked at the fact that the reporters knew me. Being the collected lad that he was, he placed his hand in the air to signal silence. "Miss Sakura is my band's new dance coordinator. She will be staying with us for a while. We are merely colleagues. I speak on the behalf of all of those in my band, Raven5S, when I say that she is a valuable addition to the team."

Youichi then wrapped his arm around my slim waist, pulling me closer. When our sides met, I felt the noise surrounding us blur, along with the excessive camera flashes.

We smiled while standing side by side, attached to the hip. My gaze moved from camera to camera mechanically. For a moment, I lost all sense of anxiety and just smiled for the men. As he turned my body to pose for the other cameras, I began to feel almost drunk – his scent calmed me to the point that I was practically slouching in his arm.

Apparently realizing my mental state, Youichi pinched my side. Unfortunately, that was one of the areas that tickled me most. I jumped away from him in a fit of giggles while swatting his hand away. His warm gaze turned to me in slight shock before it turned to agitation.

"Why did you jump away from him?"

"Did something between you two happen?"

"What is so funny, Miss Sakura?"

I waved off the consecutive questions and took Youichi's hand again. With a sly grin, I replied, "He merely scared me is all. Who would have ever thought that the almighty Youichi Hiijiri would tickle his date?"

The reporters began having a field day.

"He tickled you?"

"Did you enjoy it?"

"So you are a couple?"

"Could you two possibly be in love?"

"What about Reo?!"

I looked at the small reporter who had battled his way to the front of the crowd, braving the question of my ex. Bending down to match his height, I remarked, "The leaf escaped the wind."

With that, I dragged Yo away from the carpet. The reporters continued to call to me, begging me for clarification, but I simply ignored them.

Finally, Youichi and I managed to escape through the golden threshold, leaving all the questions and noise behind.

I sighed in relief while dusting off my dress. "They sure can be a feisty bunch, huh."

"You arrogant whore."

I snapped my head up to find the blazing eyes of Natsume Hyuuga attempting to burn me from afar.

"W-what?" I asked in surprise.

"You said two taboo words: Date and tickle."

I gaped at him like a goldfish for a moment, and then I shrugged lightly and fixed my heel strap. "Sorry, I'll deal with it." Then, I scrunched my brows together and plopped my hands on my hips, glaring at him. "Besides, that had nothing to do with you. It only involved Yo and I."

Not waiting for a reply, I continued to the burly men guarding the entrance. They scanned me over before smiling slightly in discomfort, as though the facial expression was foreign to them. "You look lovely this evening, Miss Sakura."

I smiled kindly at the man while bowing. "Why thank you, kind sir."

I entered the room with Youichi at my heels as he granted me entrance. I scanned the seats for our companions. Eventually, I found them sitting in the second row with four seats unoccupied between Hotaru and Koko.

"They're over there," I told my partner as I began making my way towards them.

Youichi silently followed, a glum expression crossing his face.

Before we reached the end of our row, I stopped and looked up at the ravishing lad. I asked, "What's wrong, Yo? Is something bothering you?"

Youichi looked down at me with an intense gaze. Finally, he replied, "Nope," and scooted in to sit inside.

I slid in beside him and Natsume took the spot next to me with Yurie on his right. His glare was intense and fuelled with distaste. For several minutes, I ignored his obvious annoyance until finally, I could'nt take it.

Slapping the arm-rest, I demanded, "What is up with you? I already apologized so there's no need to be all pissy."

Natsume's glare intensified ten-fold. I kept my face hard and demanding, not allowing his intimidating characteristics to faze me.

Finally, he looked off to the side and mumbled, "You're a spontaneous, slipshod little girl."

I smirked with pride. "That's how my daddy raised me."

He looked at me again. "Did he?" he asked, arching a black brow.

I nodded with confidence. "He always told me to introduce a sweet but to never fork over my stash."

He took his time to consider my words. "You mean to show them what you have but to not give them all that they want."

"Yup," I chirped merrily. "Exactly."

"So the leaf-and-wind thing?"

I nodded while turning to watch the crew set up the stage. "An intro to the sweets."

That's when I suddenly felt a shift of the air to my left. Turning, I asked, "Youichi, what's the matt…." My voice trailed off as I came face-to-face with Hotaru Imai.

I grabbed Natsume's arm desperately. "Please," I begged, "switch with me."

Slwoly, a sinister smirk spread across his dashing face. He bent down so that his lips just touched my ear, sending tingles throughout my body and causing a shiver to run uo my spine.

"An intro," he whispered with amusement, "to the sweets."

I cursed under my breath as I saw what he had done. Youichi was my intro, and now Hotaru was my reality.

Accepting my fate, I slouched in my seat dejectedly. "Lord, please save me..." I mumbled under my breath.

"No lord can save you now."

I looked up to find Hotaru staring at the stage fiercely. I gulped as she swept it towards me, locking our gazes together.

"Explain."

"Well, you see, Youichi and I have become great friends over the time that we've shared together and so I was wondering if I could sit—"

"Mikan."

Never in my life had I heard such a tormenting sound – her voice was full of so much anger and enmity. Behind the obvious were the scraps of hurt, frustration and turmoil.

"Don't hate me, Hotaru," I whispered.

She shook her head without moving her eyes away from me. "My hatred is not towards you."

Realization dawned upon my lap as I began to comprehend her emotions. Anger and hatred for whoever was causing the rift between us and hurt, frustration and turmoil for me, her best friend, who was forcefully pushing her away.

My eyes began to water as my resolve began to crumble. The amount of pain she was feeling was my entire fault. If I'd only told her, then she wouldn't have felt hurt, but determined to fix my dilemmas. All I had to do was—

"Mikan."

I tore my eyes to the row above us to find a pair of violet orbs flickering in amusement.

"What a surprise to see you here."

My unshed tears evaporated into thin air. "Honestly," I grumbled under my breath. Persona was supposed to keep him away from me. I thought at the very least that he would be capable of diverting Reo to a seat far from me during the ceremony.

My phone lightly buzzed. I took it out of my purse and quickly peeked at it.

_From: Persona_

_To: Mikan_

_Subject: Carrots_

_There were too many carrots for me to grab. I could only choose a few._

_Received: 7:28 PM_

"Dammit," I muttered.

"Is that from your guard?" Reo whispered seductively into my ear.

I tensed at the proximity of our bodies. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Once feeling his presence retreat slightly, I turned to look at him. With Hotaru on my left and Natsume on my right, both of whom were attempting to eavesdrop on our conversation, we had to be stealthily quiet.

"You know," he drawled. "The men from your fan-club who have been trying to...talk to me."

"I don't have a fan-club here," I sneered haughtily.

"You sure?" He turned his gaze to analyze the theater. Then, he leaned in so that our foreheads were touching. "One's to my right, another on the third balcony to the right, another two seats to the left of you in the first row, one's flanking my row on the left, with another two rows up on my right. Do I need to go on?"

I held his gaze, challenging him to call me out. Discreetly, I pulled out my phone and typed a message to Persona about the real 'carrot' standing in front of me.

"You click send, I click send."

Reo quickly flashed me the screen but with my abnormally heightened senses, I saw the message.

_To: A_

_From: Reo_

_Subject: Deer_

_Fire._

My hand tightly clutched my phone before I shoved it back into my purse. "What do you want?" I hissed through gritted teeth.

Reo chuckled softly. "All of this could've been avoided if you had stayed put." His hand reached out to caress my cheek. "But with both you and Hotaru on your toes, I needed help." I glared icily in hatred as he lightly ran his knuckles against my lower lip.

"What the hell do you want?" I seethed.

He leaned in closely so that his lips were touching my ear. "Now, I'll have to share you when I win."

My hazel orbs widened in astonishment. Share me? There were so many possible meanings to the phrase. But no matter how many scenarios I played out, they all seemed to be bad.

The lights dimmed overhead. I re-situated myself in my seat, the entirety of my body stiff and rigid.

"What'd he say?" Hotaru whispered.

I ignored her completely and focused on the man speaking on the stage. He was merrily going about his business, making extravagant hand gestures and funny lines. Was he faking his happiness too? Or were some people actually capable of leading a tranquil and content life?

Hours passed and I still sat tensely in my seat. I barely registered the performances or the nominees; all I did was robotically clap or nod in agreement to the hosts words.

Finally, Natsume nudged me. "That was your cue."

I turned to him in a daze, cocking my head slightly. "Cue?"

For a moment, I thought I saw concern break his mask but again, I was in a daze. "Go backstage, Polka."

I nodded my head and stealthily made my way through our row. As I made my way to the back of the stage, I began ridiculing myself. I needed to get a grip and not screw up this routine. With that in mind, I met the crew behind the stage.

"What took you so long?" Kotori snapped.

I shrugged my shoulders and lightly clapped. "Let's get in-uniform, girls!"

They all nodded and began changing behind the curtains. Once we finished, we sat at the end of the stage, waiting for our cue to enter.

"Mikan?" Yurie said quietly.

I smiled and turned to her and Kaname. "Yeah?"

"Are… Are you...?"

Kaname sighed at Yurie's failed attempt before yelling, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

All of the crewmembers had their attention on us now, seemingly wondering the same thing.

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm just nerv—"

"Don't give us that crap!" Kotori snapped. "Are you our leader, or not, Mikan?"

I turned to gaze into her magenta orbs. She was calling me out, daring me to back down. I laughed lightly at the fire in her eyes. "Am I your leader?"

Kotori leaned back, supposedly shocked by my reply. "Well, you're supposed to be, but—"

"That's what I think too," I interrupted. "I'm supposed to be your leader, the head-honcho and yet all you do is question my abilities, teachings and sense of style. If I were your leader, then you would respect me as someone above yourself, someone whose every word is to be followed without question. So, Kotori, am I your leader?"

The whole squad looked at me in astonishment. They'd never seen my harsh side, but in all honesty, I felt no remorse. Kotori needed to learn her place.

As she opened her mouth to reply, flipping back her permed navy hair, I interrupted, "Do you look up to me, Kotori? Do you envy me? Do you wish to be like me? Or do you simply hate me? Do you hate my personality, style, dancing skills, life? Do you hate me, Kotori, or do you envy me?"

She closed her mouth. All of the challenge that had been dancing within her magenta orbs died, having been successfully reprimanded.

Everyone gaped at me in shock. Apparently, no one had ever told off the almighty Kotori successfully.

She opened her mouth again, but this time, with a different aura. "You're our leader," she whispered weakly in defeat.

I nodded once in approval before looking at the stage again.

The host was speaking of our band now but without using our name. He was saving the honoured title for our cue to dance our way on-stage.

"Okay, girls. We're almost up," I said hurriedly. "Now remember, we stick to the beat and dance with our designated partners. We stay behind Natsume and Ruka, but in front of the others. These steps have been burned into your heads. We can do this - easily"

Everyone nodded along with my words, their eyes full of excitement and nervousness.

"I know that you'll all do just fine. Just listen to the music and feel the beat. The rhythm will trigger your memory of our dance rehearsals and you'll be able to dance every step with ease."

They all smiled gratefully. I returned the gesture and turned back to the stage. I jumped a little while shaking my body a little bit to warm up. The others copied my motions, seemingly finding them helpful.

"Now," the announcer began in a dramatic voice, "if you'd all welcome the renowned band who has won three Grammies just this ceremony, Raven5S!"

The crowd clapped enthusiastically as the spotlights dancing across the stage faded. The sound of Natsume's bass filled the silent air of the theater. He abruptly stopped his strum, pausing for a moment. Then he repeated the strum again, but this time Tsubasa joined in with his guitar. Again, they abruptly stopped and began again, this time with Youichi adding his pianos tune. They stopped once more before they repeated the strum and Koko added his beating drums.

The lights gleamed across the stage, highlighting all of the handsome band members.

Ruka took a hold of his mike, signalling us to jump out into our dance. I led the group out into the open, each of us doing cartwheels or flips, or something that gained the interest of those who were bored.

As Ruka began to sing, his tone reaching out to the souls of thousands, I led the group into our routine. I felt my surroundings blur before I was enveloped in darkness. I opened my eyes and looked around – I imagined that for once, I wasn't the only one within my reverie. That the band and my dance group were standing alongside me, although no one was touching me.

I imagined all of us girls skipping forward, while the guys stayed behind us. We were prancing across the open fields while the boys followed us.

They chased us as we playfully hid behind shrubs, trees, tables, and other members. It was almost like a game of tag.

The boys then stopped, seemingly bored of the game, so the girls and I began to twirl with each other; we spun and spun, and spun, until we were too dizzy to stand.

At that point, we all collapsed onto the ground. Everyone rolled over to the boys who were lazily eating their food.

I wanted this to be my reality. I wanted to have all of my friends surrounding me, having fun and laughing. I wanted to feel as though Natsume had opened his heart and that we had finally stopped butting heads.

I wanted to lead a peaceful life where I could make the choices instead of being forced to make them.

Ruka stopped singing and the band slammed one last beat before they relaxed, gasping for air. All of them had a sheen of sweat dripping across their foreheads. I, myself, had the liquid dripping tediously slow down my back and chest. The girls all seemed to be in a similar state.

I noticed how we were in exact formation, indicating that no one had screwed up.

The crowd cheered excitedly as we all smiled and waved, while making our exit.

"Hold it," the announcer called.

We all turned to him in confusion.

"Yes?" Ruka asked politely.

The host walked towards us, his eyes locked on me. "We have someone in this group who is to make an announcement -"

Everyone looked at me with raised eyebrows.

I shook my head softly. "Sorry, you must be mistaken. I'm—"

"- Supposed to make an announcement without preparations."

Quirking a brow, I asked, "What's going on?"

The announcer took my forearm and led me to the microphone. He gave me an extra one and announced, "You all know Miss Mikan Sakura, right?"

Murmurs rippled through the crowd.

"You know," he continued, "gorgeous, funny, kind, amazing dancer, ex-girlfriend of Reo Mouri, can supposedly sing."

Everyone nodded with smiles on their faces, as though recalling fond memories. I briefly wondered what they could be thinking of since I had never spoken to half of the people who were sitting in the crowd.

"Well, she's going to make an announcement with her _beloved_ Reo Mouri."

I turned my head to look at the man in shock. "What?" I shrieked.

The crowd laughed humourlessly while I continued to panic.

"Don't give her a hard time, now, because she never was told about making an announcement."

The audience thoughtfully agreed.

"So, I'll turn it over to one of the hottest pop sensations, Reo Mouri!"

The crowd applauded as the devil himself waltzed out from his lair.

He took a hold of the mike and said, "Thanks for the warm welcome everyone." Then the bastard turned to me, giving me one of his cynically sly grins. "Hello, darling Mikan," he seductively meowed in a humorous manner.

I rolled my eyes away from him and crossed my arms. "Hello, Pony-boy."

His eyes narrowed as everyone laughed to my reference of his role in a movie where he acted as the ass of a pony. "Darling, don't mention that here and now."

"Oh?" I spoke, turning to him with raised brows. With my voice dripping in false innocence, I continued, "Why so, my dear? Does the embarrassment make you squirm in discomfort? Or do you simply not want to remember having to push crap out of the pony's behind?"

Again, everyone laughed.

Reo shot me a dangerous glare before saying huskily, "At least I was _fired_ from acting after that."

I regained my disgusted posture upon hearing him stress the word 'fired'. Him and I both knew of his hidden reference.

"Before we make the announcement, I'd like to ask my darling Mikan to do me a favour." The crowd leaned forward as Reo motioned for them to come closer. "Sing a song with me, my dear."

The crowd cheered in agreement as I shifted uncomfortably. Despite the harsh glare of the lights, I could see Hotaru stand and make her way to the stage.

"Sorry, but I can't. Not after that dance routine for Raven5S. My throat's too dry. It'll sound more like a dying whale than a song."

Reo scoffed. "Excuses, excuses, darling. Just give the people what they want."

Again, I shook my head and reached to obtain the letter gripped in his hand. Reo pulled it out of my reach, which made me fall into his chest.

My heartbeat accelerated in fear. My mind began stirring and my head pounding with blood. Reo's devious smirk had my hands shaking and my knees wobbling. I attempted to back away but his hand encircled my waist, caging me against his hard chest. My mouth went dry and my eyes began to tear up; I was at my limit.

All of a sudden, Reo was knocked to the side and a calloused hand encased my shaking hand, pulling me away from him.

"Don't touch my dancer."

I looked up to find Natsume holding me protectively while glaring at Reo. Ruka stood behind him with Tsubasa, Koko and Yo behind him. Theyall looked absolutely furious as they stepped forward to form a line flanking Natsume.

Reo chuckled. "I'll keep my hands to myself, boys. No need to worry."

But they still continued to stay by my side, watching Reo's every move.

Natsume continued to hold me, his arms soothing my heart and reducing my shaking.

I eventually squirmed out of his grasp and walked over to Reo, holding out my hand for the envelope. He gave me the envelope and smirked.

Pulling open the envelope, I announced, "And the winner for the best hip-hop song of 2012 is..."

A classic drum roll played in the background as Reo pressed his front against my back. I held my breath to avoid an episode and arched my back away from him.

In unison we chirped, "_See You In My Nightmares by Kanye West_!"

Everyone cheered and clapped as the said artist made his way towards the stage. I grabbed the trophy off the podium and handed it to him with a goofy grin when he stood in front of me.

He smiled kindly and we shook hands, before he began his monologue of thanks.

We all gathered and walked back to our seats, silently cheering for the huge success. I took my spot beside Hotaru, smiling with utter joy and happiness.

"Moron."

I turned to the girl beside me in confusion.

Hotaru softly hit the side of my head with her knuckles. "Moron," she repeated. "Don't do that...ever again."

I then realized how much the unprepared speech with Reo had affected her. "Sorry," I mumbled softly.

Her amethyst orbs glistened with relief as she continued to lightly tap my head with her knuckle. "I need to help you."

"Yeah," I replied.

"This isn't something you can go through alone."

"I know."

She stopped her incessant tapping and took a hold of my hand, locking our gazes together to ensure that her meaning would make it across. "This is something that I have to know of."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop trying to protect me."

"I can't."

"I'm your best friend."

"All the more reason to protect you," I murmured.

"You're supposed to come to me with dilemmas that I can fix."

"I'm supposed to protect you."

"You're supposed to believe in my abilities."

"I do."

"Then why do you keep everything locked up?" she whispered.

I sighed. "To keep you and everyone else safe."

"That's not fair, Mikan, and you know it."

I buried my face within her ebony hair and choked out, "Is it fair for me to lose my father, mother, friends, and co-workers? Is it fair for me to suffer with the fact that you all died due to me? How come it's not fair that I want to protect you all and only hurt myself?"

She fell silent, squeezing me tightly in reply.

* * *

I swayed with the beat of the music contentedly. All the girls danced around me, giggling and swaying in drunken movements much like my own.

There were boys who bravely attempted to enter our circle, only to fail miserably. We were having the time of our lives: being drunk, dancing with celebrities, forgetting our worries. No damned boy was going to ruin that for us.

I stumbled to the ground, whooping all the merry way down. My butt met the floor with a thump. I felt the vibrations shake from my butt to throughout my entire body, making my teeth rattle.

My feet flopped left and right as I attempted to stand yet again. By now, all of the girls were laughing at me, saying that I looked like a seal with my fluid yet clumsy motion.

Giving up, I continued flopping around like a seal. The girls continued laughing hysterically until a strong arm wrapped around my waist. They all instantly sobered up and gazed at the male behind me blankly.

"Damned woman," he muttered.

I slapped his hands away and turned to him. To my surprise, when I attempted to get a look at the man, he would swerve so that he was standing behind me. Finally, I became fed up with his antics.

"Hey, Bud," I sassed. "No man can man-handle me and get away with it."

"Try and get me, little girl."

I moved to be on my hands and knees before lifting myself off the ground with ease. I twirled around with my arms spread wide, successfully hitting multiple people and one that had to be him.

I cackled as I continued to spin around and around. "See? I can do everything when I put my mind to it."

"Mikan!"

I turned to find a stumbling Koko attempting to make his way towards me. He continued stumbling towards me until he slung his arm around my shoulder. "Teach me karate."

"Koko, I don't know karate." I sighed

He vigorously shook his head. "You can. I saw it with my own eyes. Teach me."

"Koko," I started. He had been apparently having day dreams about me being a master of kong-fu or something so now he was incessantly asking me to mentor him.

Suddenly, the best idea popped into my drunken mind. "Extend your hand out like this."

He replicated my movement of extending his hand before him in a straight line.

"Then," I proceeded. "Slap it back here," I motioned to slapping my butt, "As hard as you can."

Koko nodded, determination sprawled across his face. He did as told and let out a cry of astonishment from the pain.

Everyone erupted into laughter yet again. Koko smoothed his hand over his butt with a cute pout. "Who did that? Huh? Come out and say it to my face."

Someone grabbed my wrist, dragging me out of the after party and towards the balcony. "Damn girl. Making an ass of my damn band mate."

"Hey!" I cried. "Who are you? What are you doing? Do I need to kill you?"

The man shook his head in what seemed to be disgust. "Shut up, Polka."

I snapped my head to the male and squinted my eyes to get a better view. "Natsume?"

"Hn."

"Natsume!" I launched myself onto his back in sheer happiness. "Isn't this party great? You can just let all of your worries flow, you know? Maybe you should try it. All that you've been doing is sulking in the corner."

"Tch."

I pouted cutely and placed my cheek against his in exhaustion. "It's awesome."

After a minute of apprehension, he asked, "What is?"

"Letting all of my worries go."

We elapsed into a silence as he opened the balcony doors and closed them behind us. Natsume brought me to the edge of the railing before allowing me to perch myself against its stony features.

I lazily dragged my finger across the smooth surface. "What's your story, Natsume?"

The man perched himself beside me. "My story...?"

"Yeah," I clarified while looking up at him. "Where did you come from? What made you cold and distant? Why are you pretending to be something that you're not?" Natsume stayed silent for a long time. I suddenly realized that I had stepped out of bounds. In my drunken haze, I had stomped across the forbidden line and trampled my progress.

"An Eye for an Eye."

I looked up at his cryptic statement. "'An Eye for an Eye'?"

"The game, moron."

"Oh!" I nodded giddily. "So, you'll play?"

He nodded and mumbled to himself, "You probably won't remember it anyways."

"I heard that!" I cried out indignantly.

The lad merely shrugged and looked off to the horizon.

"What's your childhood?" I slurred.

Natsume sighed. "I grew up in a small town off Tokyo. My family was the town's model. They all looked up to us and followed our advice or orders without a doubt. Eventually, we grew weary of being worshipped day in and day out. So, Mom got a job as a doctor and Dad became a lawyer. They hit it off and we moved to the house we're in now."

"But what about Ruka?"

"We met playing soccer together on a travel team," he replied off-handedly.

"Oh," I remarked.

The silence was retained as I waited for him to ask his question. I set my gaze off to the horizon where the lights of Tokyo light up the black sky; it was almost as though Tokyo itself was a candle in the dead of night. I smiled to myself.

"What's your childhood?" Natsume finally asked.

I sighed while reminiscing my days of glory. "I lived with Mom and Dad in a big town where everyone knew of us as the content family." I reached my hands out so that the gaps between my fingers revealed the lights of the city. "We were always happy and smiling and making the best out of all situations, no matter how dire they seemed. Together, we brightened the town until everyone was acting as cheerful and content as we were."

"Of course," he scoffed.

"Then they came and took everything away from us." My hand fell limp as I remembered each gruesome detail. Dolefully, I continued, "Our home, our friends, our family. They made us retreat to America. Believing that we were safe, we began our lives again. I made friends and established a reputation alongside my parents. That lasted for about two years until they came again, and we had to move again. This time, we went to Russia."

Natsume kept silent, observing me as I spoke. A quiver had entered my tone as the emotions began to seep into my head. While in my drunken haze, the walls that I had built to ward off the pain and agony had been momentarily ripped down. Unfortunately, Natsume had to be the one to see me at my lowest.

"Mom realized that no matter where we were," I continued softly, "they'd find us, so we moved frequently from town to town in Russia. I pretended to settle down and be normal, but secretly, I'd kept my distance from them so I wouldn't get hurt when we had to leave."

I lifted my hand and began to count down the numbers. "We'd lived in Australia, Russia, America, France, Laos, Brazil, Kenya, Greenland, even Antarctica at one point. But they continued to find us and hurt our loved ones. Eventually, they caught Mom in a trap. Somehow, while we were in the hospital, they had slipped a pill in her food that held Bacterial Meningitis germs. She had a seizure, fell into a coma and died within three days."

It was as livid as day; Dad sobbing in an ally and beating garbage cans, Mom's lifeless body slowly losing the battle. Unknowingly, tears began to slide down my rosy cheeks. I hadn't even gotten to say goodbye. I hadn't been able to say all of the things that I needed to say like thank you and I love you.

Taking a deep breath, I controlled my emotions and cleared my face of tears. "Dad and I moved from there to Tokyo, finally thinking that we had peace. I became attached to my friends, like Ruka and Hotaru, and we lived in Tokyo for a decent eight years. Then, Dad went missing." I solemnly gazed at the beautiful lights of the city, finally noticing the pollution that the stacks and factories were causing. It was a clear night, but Tokyo had a cloud hanging over its head.

"Now, I'm all on my own."

Natsume absorbed my leaked information like a sponge; slowly but effectively.

As an afterthought, I added, "Don't tell anyone, okay?"

He nodded. Then, after a while, he asked, "Who's 'they'?"

I clucked my tongue and sing-songed, "Top secret information. Classified."

"So," he started, "some people were out for your mom, so you moved around a lot when you were little until she died. Then you moved to Japan with your father, who went missing."

I nodded, blockading my emotions once again. "Yup. My turn." I thought long and hard about my question until it finally came out, "Why are you pretending to be someone you aren't?"

Again, he took his time to respond, thinking pensively of his answer.

Finally, he sighed, "I need to keep my emotions on tab. If I don't, then they'll see how I truly feel, and they'll grow skeptical, which would lead to their termination."

I took note of how he avoided who he was referring to by 'they'. "And what you really feel is fear, agony, and anxiety, right?"

Natsume looked at me with his intense gaze, although the effect was lessened since my vision was blurred. "How did you know?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Part of growing up was knowing how to judge people. You were hiding yourself behind a façade, which I could see through."

He nodded in understanding. Then, without a moment's notice, he asked, "What happened with you and Reo?"

I thought stoically on that subject. I forced my mind to think clearly so that my answer wouldn't slip any hints of my current position.

I hummed in conclusion before replying, "Reo and I dated for six months. We were in love and happy. But then his love grew into possession, which is very different. Instead of sending me off with my friends, he'd demand that I stay with him. Eventually, he had me locked in his house with the newest security systems into place."

His face morphed into something akin to disgust and disbelief as I continued, "I guess one question was always running through his mind: "how do I keep her to myself?" I began to revolt since I didn't want to be locked up in his house for all eternity. His mind was so preoccupied with the question that he'd mindlessly beat and sexually assaulted me."

I swallowed the lump that had somehow found its way into my throat. This topic wasn't sentimental, but brutally tormenting to talk about.

"Eventually, he had me locked within one room where even the maids weren't allowed access. He was the only one who could go in and out." I allowed that to sink in for a moment while I gathered my bearings. "After abusing me for some time, he learned that I was rather strong and feisty…." I choked back a sob of terror as the memories washed into me. "He…...he chained me to the wall behind my bed, saying that I shouldn't hit the people that I loved. But I no longer loved him. Because of him, I grew scared of people's touch and began to give no one the benefit of the doubt." I wrung my wrists in an accelerated motion as the flashbacks became more frequent and less opaque, showing every brutal detail of his torture.

"Apparently," I continued carefully, "Reo resolved his question and decided that he should kill me."

Beside me, Natsume tensed. His hands clenched the railing of the balcony which began to shake with his immense strength. Why does he care so much? Is it because Reo is his nemesis? Or is it because of….of me?

"I think that he thought that then he wouldn't have to worry about others getting close to me. Reo had stabbed me, shot me, and poisoned me, but nothing seemed to work."

I turned away from the blinding lights of Tokyo, turning to watch a moth circle the lantern that light the balcony. After taking some soothing breaths to calm my rapid breathing, I was finally able to see something other than my own blood.

Now that I had made it so far, I was determined to finish telling my story. "Finally, Hotaru found me and busted me out of there. I was put in Intensive Care for three weeks before I could return to school. Now, I steer clear of anything Reo-related." My harsh gaze began to soften as I remembered his crazed eyes and inhuman jerks of excitement or anger. "He's not sane and needs help, but I doubt that anything will work at this point."

Natsume stayed silent again. He seemed completely dumbfounded from my revelation.

Slowly, my eyelids became heavy. Before he could comment on the matter, I had fallen into his arms, close to unconsciousness.

"Sometimes," I whispered to him as he caught me from falling, "I forget that running away from our problems only makes a greater distance to our solutions. Sometimes, I think that, if I just close my eyes, I could forget all of my worries. But then I discovered that when you close your eyes, you're left with your head, and that's where your problems are."

* * *

**Thanks so much for reading!**

**I am really sorry for the prolonged update. It took a lot longer than expected to get this whole thing done :P Turns out, I still have A LOT of work to do and learn. Please bear with me as I learn how to write and expression emotions better.** **I REALLY appreciate the support everyone :D Thanks so much!**


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